[JD10367]

What do you think? Does this capture the proper spirit of my message?



TO THE INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLE WHO OWNS THE NISSAN ALTIMA WITH PLATE NUMBER [deleted]:

Good morning, you ****. How are you? Things well? Wife and kiddies doing okay? That’s nice. Mind if I interrupt your day for a moment?

You see, I’ve been watching you park this car for a while. And I notice you like to park it right in front of the mall doors while simultaneously taking up two spaces. I’ve seen you do this around a dozen times, and complained to the mall parking office more than once. And I know you will continue to do it, so much so that I actually had time to type this up because I knew I would once again soon find your car taking up two spots.

I see two possible reasons for this inconsiderate action:

1.) You think your Nissan Altima is a ****ing Lamborghini, and you don’t want it to get scratched. And yet you think you’re somehow better than everyone else and should thus be allowed to take up two spots right in front of the mall doors.

2.) You can’t drive for shit.

If it’s the former, let me educate you. You’re not that important. Stop taking up two spaces, you douchebag. It’s a Nissan. No one gives a shit. If you’re that concerned about scratching it, why don’t you park it on the other side of the lot where you know no one will park next to it? Or, better yet, take the ****ing bus to work.

If it’s the latter, take some rudimentary driving courses. It’s really not that hard to park a car. They put these nice big yellow lines on the ground to tell you where to put the car.

I know that it’s probably the former. Which means you probably think of no one but yourself. But give it a try. Think of your fellow man. And keep your ****ing piece of shit car in between the lines. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely, “Speaking For Everyone Else Who Parks Here”