Quote:
Originally Posted by keg in kc
I think you're terrified of rejection. The issue's not really about how other people see you, it's a projection of what you feel about yourself. A defense mechanism; if you don't give other people a chance to make their own mind up about you, you can't be let down or get hurt. It's a self-fulfilling prophesy.
The number scale thing is a bit of a waste of time, too. You don't have to be a 10 to everybody, only to somebody. And you gotta let them decide how they see you. Give them a chance to make up their own mind.
It's hard. It's a lot easier just to say "I'm not good enough" and use that as a reason to not even try. Putting yourself out there opens you up for all kinds of heartache and disappointment. But it also opens you up for what you're looking for.
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I'm not terrified of it. I just don't take it well. In that aspect, yes, it's a defense mechanism. It's kind of frustrating. The guys who do see me as a 10, I'm not attracted to at all. Those who I do like, either see me as a friend or don't want to see me at all.