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Intelligence officers report immediately:
We need a galvanizing moment. Something that not only turns the entire fanbase against Herm, but also allows us to properly assume our role as heads of the rudderless ship that is this franchise. I propose a firebombing of 1 Arrowhead Drive, carried out by our loyal servants. In the ashes of this event, blame will be laid at the feet of the true fan, who will then be summarily processed and sent to the lands of Western Kansas for reeducation.
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"When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read 'all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics.' When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of loving liberty – to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.”--Abraham Lincoln
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