Quote:
Originally Posted by keg in kc
To what Brad said I'll add only to try not to envision or fantasize what the "perfect" marriage would be like, and expect yours to be that. Nobody gets a perfect marriage, not you, not anybody. It doesn't exist. I would try my best not to expect anything going in, in terms of "this is what married life with this man I've wanted to marry for years will be.' Just let life happen and deal with the changes and challenges as they happen. Anything else is setting yourself up for disappointment. Now, I'm not saying to expect bad things, I'm saying to expect nothing. Don't have expectations, just live your life and let the marriage be what it is. It's going to be an organic thing, with ebbs and flows and it will change over time just like you will, and he will.
And if that still sounds negative, it's because I think we (this includes men as well as women) have this fairy-tale vision of marriage, and I think trying to keep ourselves rooted in reality going in might just be a good start towards getting the divorce rate back under 50%...
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I don't think that's negative at all. It's realistic. Just because we'll have the same last name doesn't mean suddenly he'll start putting the toilet seat down all the time or I'll start putting the laundry away as soon as the dryer's done. We'll still be us. To expect perfection would be foolish. It'll be what it is....just like we are what we are now, and that's different from four years ago when I moved in.