[Eleazar]

Originally Posted by Phobia

You're fat, live with your mommy, have no money, are on the internet 18 hours a day, have no experience with women, watch too much porn, dress up like a star wars dork, can't handle your liquor, are pasty white, don't dress well, and have religious baggage.

You don't have room to be selective.

But let's focus on your good qualities...