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# When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Bill Callahan.
# Bill Callahan doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
# There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Bill Callahan has allowed to live.
# Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Bill Callahan.
# Bill Callahan does not sleep. He waits.
# Bill Callahan is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
# Bill Callahan is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
# Bill Callahan counted to infinity - twice.
# When Bill Callahan does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
# Bill Callahan is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
# Bill Callahans hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
# There is no such thing as global warming. Bill Callahan was cold, so he turned the sun up.
# Bill Callahan can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
# Bill Callahan doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
# Bill Callahan gave Mona Lisa that smile.
# Bill Callahan can slam a revolving door.
# Bill Callahan does not get frostbite. Bill Callahan bites frost
# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Billtatorship.
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