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Originally Posted by Simplex3
Ok, if we're going to be serious about this...
First we nail them to the floor using a pneumatic nailer. Then we shove slivers of dry bamboo under the toenails. Then, you soak the bamboo in water. When he's had enough of that, we rip them off.
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don't use to many nails, you don't want him to bleed out on you. bamboo under the toenails is a good step to throw in the mix, but it is kind of a one trick pony, when the bamboo starts to soak up water it will slowly tear off the nail.
what I liked about my approach is the creativety, it's three or four different acts on one toe, plus if he starts to act tough, the turpentine can be ignited. Layer your tortue for the longer lasting satisfaction.