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Originally Posted by Bob Dole
Goebel's was worse than any of those. (Don't know if they still make it or not.)
True story:
Back around 1984 or so, Bob Dole and a buddy were hanging at the local watering hole and miraculously managed to chat up a couple of ladies. They actually got in the car with us voluntarily and we raced to the closest c-store trying to get in before the 1:30 cut-off. We were flat out broke, but managed to scrounge around and scrape together $1.52, which was enough to purchase a six-pack of canned Goebel's. (In retrospect, Bob Dole is confident that the ladies were really impressed.)
So we head north thinking that we'd hit the old 71-highway bridge (where a lot of us used to congregate before some dipshit jumped off the damned thing and broke his back and the highway department decided to hack down all the trees so the Po-Po could see us) and Bob Dole shouts DRIVER'S PRIVILEGE (which for those too young to remember when "open container" wasn't a ticket, meant that the wingman needed to open a damned beer and hand it over).
Bob Dole took a big drink and it was the most horrid tasting crap that Bob Dole had ever tasted. And that's saying a lot, since Bob Dole had already been drinking for 5 hours or so. Bob Dole heaved the can out the window, then grabbed the remaining 5 and tossed them out too.
You know it's pretty damned bad when you're trying to close the deal on a couple of ladies, you just spent your last $1.52 on a six pack, and the shit STILL ain't worth drinking.
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Great story with a solid moral at the end.
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"When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read 'all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics.' When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of loving liberty – to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.”--Abraham Lincoln
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