To be honest, I've had a lot more "almost-oh-shit" moments than actual ones, but the one that sticks out as being closest is as follows:
My current wife and I had just broken up after our first stint of dating. It was 1994, I was living in a fraternity house, and the fall semester was just getting ready to start.
We were in some argument about why I broke up with her, and I don't remember everything that was said. What I do remember was my "parting shot" as I was heading out the door. I wanted to leave with some zinger ... something that really sealed the deal.
So, as I had one foot out the door, I said:
"You're fucking psycho ... "
Now, this in and of itself probably would've been fine. Mean and a bit cruel, but fine. I did not, however, feel as though it had the necessary strength or venom for which I was looking. So I decided to add four more words as I closed the door behind me ... just four, simple little words that could really open a wound. Those words?
" ... just like your mom."
As I closed the door, I heard the sound of glass breaking. So, deciding that adding those four little words wasn't nearly stupid enough, I opened the door.
I was greeted with an 8" tall hurricane glass flying--at a fairly high velocity--right at my head.
My survival instinct kicked in and I closed the door fast enough to block the glass from embedding itself in my melon ... but too fast for me to remove my foot from between the door and the door jam.
I broke five bones in my foot, was in an air cast for about a month, and still have a pinky toe of strange and unusual size.
And all because of four little words ...
MM
~~
P.S. The Mrs. and I laugh about it now and, it turns out, her mom is much more psycho than the Mrs. could ever hope to be.
