Thread: Life Messing with squirrels
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Old Yesterday, 05:24 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TinyEvel View Post
Lighting your own farts while doing rodent assplay?

You just moved yourself one tick closer to the Jeffrey Dahmer side of the graph.
What was I supposed to do? The thing was stunned, not dead. I wasn't about to reach over and grab it and have it risk biting me or something. So I emptied the rest of a bottle of hand sanitizer over it's head. I think the shock paralyzed it further. Funny thing about hand sanitizer. It's HIGHLY flammable. It's an even better firestarter than lighter fluid. And I emptied that WHOLE bottle onto the ****ing thing. It was drenched like a sewer rat. Grabbed the box of matches nearby, skritch-skratch, and tossed the flame onto Mousey Denethor. Set a fire in his flesh. He went up like Gondor was calling for aid. But none came. His heart probably exploded because I didn't hear any screeching. The smell lingered terribly for a few days.
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