Quote:
Originally Posted by jerryaldini
Add another one to the list. Will be 7 in 9 seasons.
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This is PERFECT.
Denver cuts Russ post June 1st (to not completely kill their cap in 2024, but just too mortally wound it for 2024 & 2025).
KC signs Russ to one year 'revenge' deal, promising him the opportunity to pull down Payton's pants on National TV. (Note: schedule had previously been released and we already know Chiefs and Denver are playing on a Sunday night matchup in Mile High, due to media being convinced now Denver is good due to 9-8 second place finish in AFC West and their first win over Chiefs in 17 tries)
Week 5 matchup comes up in Denver (because of course it's scheduled early because talking heads as much as they say 'Denver's back', NFL knows deep down they will falter down the stretch again and disappear so no point in late season matchup that won't mean anything). KC is likely 4-0 or 3-1, defense has been solid, not great, but offense (after complete off-season overhaul and new WR's, coaches, etc. is back to humming). Denver is also 3-1 due to front loaded schedule with altitude inflated assistance. Both teams coming into game feeling good about themselves, especially Denver because they are 'BACK' and on Prime Time against the Chiefs for a chance to take early division lead.
Denver has spent all week preparing for Mahomes and the new and improved Andy Reid upgraded offense. Suddenly the day before, the all world QB Patrick Mahomes goes down with an injury (don't worry, he's faking it), OMG, what will the Chiefs do!
You know what happens next: Russ steps in 'I got this coach' (secretly he had been running reps with the first team off and on all week). Andy Reid busts out the 2017 Alex Smith offense that took the Patriots (and the NFL world) by storm and Russ looks 'perfect' in this dumbed down user friendly scheme. Russ goes 23-28, 215 yards, 3 TD's, but one fumble due to tripping over his own feet when trying to scramble. KC wins in a laugher 27-13 and reminds everyone why they are the big dog.
After the game, Russ is all smiles and is interviewing with (pick favorite hot female post game interviewer) and explaining how he just knew God might give him an opportunity like this for this week. He gives Sean Payton a hug (quietly murmurs 'go **** yourself') and jogs off the field getting high fives and praises and raises his finger in the air signaling #1 (when in fact, he was actually flipping off the Denver fanbase, but who would actually believe that, right? I mean, come on, it's super Christian Russell Wilson).
He gets ready to celebrate with his teammates and comes back to the locker room only to find a piece of pink paper hanging inside his locker that says 'Come see me' - Coach Reid.
He goes into Coach Reid's janitor room (because it's Denver, so of course they wouldn't have nice facilities and an office area for the visiting head coach) and Coach Reid tells him 'Russ, thanks my man, great performance. Now I'm gonna need your playbook, your keys and any self respect you have left over'.
Russ silently cries to himself in the corner while Andy chow downs on an Atomic Cheeseburger from Bob's, smiling as melted cheese drips down the side of his GOAT mustache.
Thanks for the memories, Rusty.