[Rain Man]

On a much more minor note, I've got an account at Schwab. I opened it online and have never spoken to a human being, which is how I want it.

Except once.

Years after I opened the account, I got a call out of the blue from someone I'd never heard of. He said, "I'm your broker at Schwab, and I'm going through your account. I see you've got XXX shares of this stock and YYY shares of that stock, and I'm wondering if perhaps we should move some to ZZZ mutual fund where I get paid a commission." (Well, he didn't say that last part, but it was obvious.)

I took the phone away from my ear and looked at it in confusion before putting it back. "Who are you?"

"I'm your broker and I just wanted to talk about ..."

He was clearly in my account because he knew what my holdings were. It was some dude who worked there. I sent him packing, and then I started getting his "personal Schwab newsletter", which went straight to my junk folder.

I have no idea why they suddenly assigned this guy to me, and I did not welcome his presence. Now I know that some dude that I've never met occasionally looks in my stock account, and I've considered moving away from Schwab as a result.