[PunkinDrublic]

Kidnap the kicker who shall not be named the week before the infamous game. Put him in my basement at my child hood home in Overland Park bound and gagged. Arrive on location at the Peters clothiers commercial shoot with four masked gunman and shove Nick Lowery into an unmarked van. Next we pay the Jets GM a little visit Suge Knight style. It only takes one broken kneecap before he agrees to release Nick from his contract. Nick signs on the dotted line at gunpoint and after viewing photos of where his children attend school. Nick is a perfect 4 for 4 and we go on to win the Super Bowl.

I’ve executed this plan in my head thousands of times, it’s foolproof!