[wutamess]

My dad used to throw these big yard parties in the late 90's. I was home over the summer from school. So at one of these parties, I meet this female from Marshall Missouri.

We grew up in the era of NWA/Snoop Dog, etc where, "It wasn't no fun if the homies didn't have none." So our motto was basically if my dick got wet, your dick got wet. We weren't running trains or anything but she had friends to hook up with my friends. So I bang the chick and we're all cool and shit.

A week later a group of friends and I pack up and head to Marshall Missouri to visit the chicks. They had us in a big 2 story older victorian style home. It's like 4-6 of us that packed in my minivan (yes I drove a minivan in college).

Anyways, we get there and a few minutes later... in walks the Mo Valley GIRLS BASKETBALL TEAM with bottles of alcohol which meant we would eventually have our picks of the litter with a little patience.

Then there's Jermaine! Jermaine had the well sculpted natural 6 pack that our pudgey asses would die for that he'd flex as often as possible when girls would come around. Jermaine also liked to get drunk. TOO DRUNK!

We're all sitting and vibing and playing spades, listening to music and just biding time before the possible orgy kicks off. Jermaine all of a sudden, "gets hot" and takes off his shirt. Right on queue, the girls (still drinking) notice his physique and start flirting, etc. We're all drinking and smoking at that point. Girl-guy ratio is like 3-1.

Jermaine and I were spades partners against 2 other chicks. Out of the blue, after a few hands, Jermaines' drunk ADHD starts to kick in. He throws his spades hand down and says, "**** this shit! What's up?!? Roger said y'all bitches was sucking dick"!

Me, holding my hand turned my head like those dog videos when the dog ****s up and is getting interrogated. The girls go 0-100 stat! "Roger! WTF! You told him that?"
"Hell no I didn't tell him that shit! I don't know hat he's talking about! He's drunk!"

Needless to say, it went from pre-orgy workout to us having to force his drunk ass to the minivan so we can get the hell out of town as they were calling the "hood" to come. We get to my fathers house, this ****er is passed out and then manages to crawl to the front steps. Falls asleep on the front step and throws up some red shit in his sleep.

To this day I bring it up everytime we reunite! Shit was funny as hell.

Who does that?