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C4w. I feel your pain.
4th grade. The dragon lady puts a paper on the door of her classroom encouraging students to write "things that are green" in honor of St Patrick's day. At some point she storms into the room, snarling like the rabid cow that she was.....demanding to know who had done it....done what you ask, as I did at the time.
As she stamped across the room towards my desk she ululated " someone....(looking at me) wrote "a booger" on the things that are green board. I will have a confession or no one goes on the fir,d trip or ever has enjoy,net in their life again". It is worse than after flick comes in after the flag pole. The class is restless. It's obvious she thinks I did it. The class is unsettled and stammering whispers iof "admit it" checker the room. The uterus of doom obviously thinks I did it, kids are starting to assume I did it.....so to save the team, I confess to a crime I did. It commit.
The wicked witch of 4th grade rips me from my chair by the ear and arm and essentially pummels me across the room, pushes me outside and begins to slam me against the door several times as she screams gibberish about how terrible I was and that I had ruined the holiday in which we stereotype the Irish for everyone. Worst person ever! Destined to fail...
I spend the next hour standing in front of the door, scribbling over the dreaded "a booger" text. Do you know what happens when you scribble on the same 3 cubic inches with a green marker for an hour? It breaks through the paper and then you spend a couple of recesses cleaning the spot on the door.
The sonnabitch who did it never confessed, they could have at least thrown the standard jawbreaker candy apology my way.
To this day I hope her vagina fell out. Innocent. I should seek reparations.
2 short years later, the jelly belly caper.....but at least my friends did that and I was there.
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