22. Cochise
The proud and honorable Apache leader Cochise was a great warrior who stood for justice and integrity in spite of the atrocities committed against his family and people by the Mexican and American governments. Therefore, it's only fitting that his memory get cheapened by a boring average middle-aged white Republican dude on the internet. Next thing you know, frazod will come back and ask his username to be changed to Dietrich ****ing Bonhoeffer.
Cochise (Hard Rock Cafe shirt, not feather) is a unique add to this Best Posters of 2014 list because he came back to CP this very year after taking several years off to rest his wounded and tired vagina, probably over the usual reasons-- "Too negative... too much name-calling... Hamas made an obscure literary reference in a QB thread... yadda yadda." He's ranked this high because he's pretty much Alex Smith-- doesn't post anything too flashy, doesn't lead any conversations, and is diligent about not making any mistakes or ruffling any feathers so that when people talk about his merits as a poster, the first thing they say is, "I really like Cochise the person, and he does some great things as a poster, but..."
And those are all the jokes I've got. Sorry. Unspectacular posters get unspectacular roasts. Get Cochise to throw downfield more often and take fewer sacks, and we'll see where we're at with him in 2015.
Until then, Cochise just missed another wide open chance at a creative insult that most top posters make 10 times out of 10. All because he was checking down to an Obama thread in the DC forum.