63. burt
I think if Chiefs Planet were around 60 years ago, burt would have been one of the coolest posters. If I remember correctly from what he's told me while piss shit drunk, that would put him at the beginning of his long and proud boxing career. I'm also pretty sure he would have been volunteering at that time as a person who goes around punching Nazis in the face. A real ****ing badass.
However, life is cruel, and it has long ago forced burt to relinquish the sweetness of youth in exchange for the rancid fart smell of fatness, old age, and senility. And too much bathtub moonshine has only sped up the transformation into the product you see today.
But don't tell burt. He knows that unlike other posters on here, he was alive during the McKinley administration. He can remember a time when a stylish zoot suit and an honorable reputation could get you into the finest of speakeasies in town. He's got the strength of character that may as well be considered extinct to those young whipper snapper baby boomers. And if he just needs a stiff drink (or twelve) to get himself revved up to teach those hooligans a lesson in manners, well, that's just what he'll do. That's the great part about being an alcoholic-- any reason is good enough to have a drink.
Just let burt believe he's still got the strength, quickness, and mental fortitude to beat the shit out of anybody on here. We may not have to deal with it much longer. Maybe when Dane comes back, we can tell him to man up and put his great-grandfather in the nursing home.