[Hammock Parties]

ROAST FROM DA GHOST

PGM

Unfortunately, due to being permabanned for being too witty and entertaining, I no longer can search while I do a roast so I'll have to stick to an obvious target.

PGM, apparently, has been a member of ChiefsPlanet since October of 2005. That is officially 3+ months before the likes of Hootie and Hamas Jenkins first joined (both of whom were permabanned; one for being a genious who couldn't understand picking up dog shit at an apartment complex is a pretty rational request...and the other for being such a quality poster and role model that twinkle goatee and his faithful, enormous, low self-esteemed sidekick who treats mod abuse like it's one of those krispy kreme double heart attack cheeseburger deluxes just couldn't BEAR to be in his shadow any longer....
(and date rape IS funny, by the way)...

anyways, I'm getting off track. Let me try to focus on my buddy PGM...lately, this STAND-UP guy has been really touting the 2014 roast thread as "better than the 2013 roasts...unless you are 12." This is the same guy who was basically my lackey for a solid month last year as he, without my knowledge, nominated me to do a thread with 101 roasts (THAT HE STARTED), and then somehow tried to pull a Skip Towne and take credit for being the creator of THE BEST THREAD OF 2013. Are you ****ing kidding me, guy?!

This is the same idiot who sat idle and watched me, Saul Good, Frazod and dipshit Donger steer the entire thread while he kept trying to side track it into some "Trial of Knowmo" thread that no one (and I mean no one) gave a **** about. (As evidenced by the epic fail of a thread that was...oh, and gee, wanna know why!? The only idiots who wanted to participate in that thread are the same bland dumbasses who turned the 2014 roast thread into a snooze fest of epic proportions and sat there and talked about Lemon Party for 1000 posts.)

Congratulations roast thread of 2014...you had 3 good roasts (all SNR), and right now sit at 2800 posts (and Billay correctly called this LEACH (that's you, PGM) out for being the only reason the ****er won't die...and we're talking about Billay here...a guy who learned to tie his shoes when he was 11).

Oh, but don't worry...at least Big Smoke hasn't changed one bit. Still the same guy with the same *look everyone, look everyone, it's me, it's me....hello?* *crickets* Big Smoke bro...I'm sure you're a good guy and everything but **** man...do you have any personality? Or are you just the lamest person ever? I'd try and roast you but it would like something like this:

BIG SMOKE

Uhm. He likes...baseball? Probably jerks off with his eyes closed? The end?

But hey, a year after one of the best threads in CP history winded down it's good to see that you guys are at least ... trying? It's good to see that Phobia and Flopnuts no longer post...been about two years for Gonzo. Saul Good finally got too appalled to come back after Phil hit him with his *I WAS KPHOBIA ONCE AND WAS THE BIGGEST NAME ON CP* ego stick one too many times...

Frazod has his own board because for some reason this site runs off long term members but allows KC ****ING NATIVE to be a member! Good keeper there! I will give him some credit though...getting that guy to post the following line: "He told me to murder my son's father!" was ****ing the best line I've ever read in any thread on any board in my life. I literally lol'd for like 10 minutes straight.

But hey, let's give it up for our ChiefsPlanet moderator team! Phobia (inactive), Gonzo (inactive), Flopnuts (inactive, hungry), Bearcat (inactive), Bob Dole (this guy is ****ing awesome), morphius (has anybody heard from this guy in years?) and Bwana. They've done a great job of really weeding out the likes of FAX, Saul Good, Frazod, DaneMcCloud, etc... and replaced them with solid posters like Big Smoke, LoneWolf (holy Christ this guy is awful), and GloryDayz.

But look on the bright side...Billay might officially be a top 10 poster on ChiefsPlanet now! ****! Even Cephallalic (or whatever the **** his name is) Trauma is probably pushing top 25!!! Quantity over quality! Just how I like my date rape!

Oh, and P.S. PGM...I realize that in relationships that sucking someone's dick for so many days and months in a row...it might get a little boring. Or stale. And I apologize that I didn't look you in the eyes more often...but you truly were good at sucking my dick...and I really want everyone to know that. You got me off more often than not and your technique is pretty damn good. But I'm sorry. You'll always be my little cock sucker...nothing more. So hang in there, bud. I'm sorry THE MAQ coulnd't quite hit you in the throat JUST RIGHT like me...but maybe 2015 you'll find another prince charming!

Tags: big smoke has aspergers; billay chiefsplanet; 500 dollars; i get aquatic pharmaceuticals because i'm too ashamed to get treated for VD properly; date rape is more fun in handicapped bars; hootie once offered $300 to be allowed to post on CP again; Donald Sterling made a few good points; LoneWolf drinks and drives; htismaque once left forever because Brodie Croyle didn't start