[lewdog]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/roy...ting-ka,34966/

Royals Courting Masahiro Tanaka By Highlighting Kansas City’s Rich Japanese History

KANSAS CITY—In a meeting that included an elaborate tea ceremony, the Kansas City Royals made their bid to sign prized right-hander Masahiro Tanaka by highlighting their city’s vibrant Japanese history, sources confirmed Thursday. “From several world-class Tang Dynasty art museums to the countless Buddhist temples and Shinto shrines in the metropolitan area, Kansas City reverently honors the ancient traditions of the Japanese people,” said general manager Dayton Moore, who invited Tanaka to join him in the onsen, a Japanese hot spring, behind the centerfield wall. “With numerous cherry blossom festivals and Gagaku concerts, you’ll feel right at home. In fact, many regard K.C. as Little Tokyo.” Following the meeting, witnesses confirmed that the 25-year-old was treated to a Royals-themed kabuki performance starring the team’s current pitching staff.