Your best Story
 

Tell us your best story. Your best day, the wildest thing you've seen, an event in your life.

I'm looking for the story that defines your life, the one you'd tell your grandkids around a campfire, the one you and your old friends re-tell half a box of beer into a night.

Tell us about the time you saw your dad kill a bear with his case knife, the day you won the lottery, the turd that was born with your child, the day your grandpa took you fishing.....good, bad, ugly. Your best story.

The only rule, it has to be true to the best of your memory. Go.

The day my son was born.

It's not exciting, but he defined my life and is the best thing to happen to me.

I can't even...

My life is a series of hilarious life altering fun disasters.

It would be easier for you to pick a subject.

Yeah...I've got my most embarrassing story.....my best oh shit story....my best "Dicky....you're an idiot" story.

How about the time you were a dominatrix for Michael Phelps

It didn't define my life, but one of my best days was when I went to see a short play I had written get produced in Pittsburgh. I sat in the back and watched the audience more than the play, because I get very stressed out when I see something I wrote produced - and I saw a couple of people wiping tears from their eyes because they were laughing so hard. And people in the audience were laughing out loud like a laugh track.
Usually at a play when people laugh it's like a, "Ho, ho. That was clever," little theatre laugh.
It was like the best drug to see there and hear it and see. Like the highest high I've ever had.

Its gonna take me some time to figure out which ones to tell.

If anyone hasn't already heard about my overnight drive halfway across India, let me know. I've told it a few times over the years.

That sounds interesting, The Darjeeling Rainman.

One off the top of my head:

I was at Boy Scout camp one year and we were having some problems with the raccoons. My buddies and I were on the edge of camp and at night they would creep into our tents and try to steal food. Finally we decided to strike back.

We loaded a bread bag full of leftover food from the mess hall and smuggled it back to our camp. We set up a snare by bending over a sturdy but pliable tree and placed the food in the middle. We then ran a line back to one of our tents from which we could spring the trap. Once it was all set we waited. It took a while because the only way we could see it was to shine a flashlight on the snare occasionally to see if the raccoons were there, so needless to say we were scaring them off. We finally figured out that if we planted a red light by the snare, it wouldn't frighten them and we could see pretty well.

After a lot of waiting and nearly losing interest. We finally saw a raccoon emerge and, after a little hesitation, go to town on the bag of food scraps. We yanked the line hard.

I don't know what we thought we were going to do once we caught this thing. We certainly were not equipped to hold it and if the leaders found out we would have been in huge trouble. Frightening it off for good, I suppose, would have been the stated goal, but there obviously wasn't much rational thought put into it. Drunk on vengeance and curiosity, I suppose.

Anyway, we didn't end up having to answer any of these questions because our little plan worked a little too well. The snare caught the raccoon by the foot and threw it off into the forest.


(Dramatization)

We were stunned silent. After a moment there were cheers from some who never could have imagined something so cool. There was also some remorse, from those who didn't really want to hurt the thing. I was more in the latter camp, but I couldn't deny how hilarious it all was. We had no problems with raccoons the rest of the session.

Lost my virginity to a 16 yr old cheerleader in the bed of a semi truck full of mattresses for the resort we were staying at while in Orlando Florida.

"Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga"

Oh my! There are so many, but most are a "You had to be there" to really appreciate.

Off the top of my head right now:

The day a part of the British Navy came to see me in Boston.
(HMS Intrepid, actually coming up the coast from Bermuda)

The day I was dared to jump off a bridge for increased business from an account I had lunch with that afternoon. I jumped off course.

The day I was a Laundromat Vigilante and was nearly arrested.

This 2x over

Almost lost my hand while driving through a car wash one time. That was weird.