Would you change 1 thing about your past if you could?
 

Sort of a piggy back off of the 1 regret thread. You have a choice. You can stay the course of your life, or you could go back and change 1 thing. Would you change anything, and what would it be? Knowing of course, that changing even 1 small thing could lead to a completely different life now, possibly worse, because our lives are shaped by the sum of all of our experiences.

I think I would not change anything at all. I'm happy how it's all turned out to this point.

Getting in a fight at a little league game.

It’s all gone downhill since . . . .

Yes. While I was in basic training in the Air Force, there is a day where all the recruits sit in class where they offer jobs and posts, and they allow you to make a list of what job you would want and where you'd like to be stationed. About ten minutes into the class, a Staff Sergeant walks in and asks to see Airman Bowser. I kind of freak out that I was being singled out in front of 100-ish other guys, but I go out in the hall with him. I report to him all formally as we are taught to do, and he kind of laughs and tells me to relax, he isn't there for all of that. Long story short, he offers me a job to be a boon operator on a refueler. I absolutely freeze and dick it up, turning down his offer. He was cool about it, and with me, but looks at me and says "Are you sure? If you say no, this won't be offered again". I stick with my answer, he thanks me for my time, wishes me luck, and walks away. To this day, 30+ years later, I can still see his face and see him walking away, and I want so badly to tell 19 year old Bowser to run after him and tell him to take the freaking job, you freaking idiot. That literally would have been a dream job for me, and I most likely would have made the Air Force my career. That is absolutely my One Thing I Would Change Moment.

But, that said, I've had a pretty good life in spite of being a 19 year old dumbass, lol (there are those that would argue it wasn't just at 19 years old, haha). I read a quote once saying something along the lines of "the longer you live in the past regretting mistakes, the deeper you push yourself into living with depression". It's true, and I try not to be that person, but just appreciate what I've done and who I've become since. It's all we can do, really.


*EDIT - not that it's terribly important, but I really do feel that I was offered that job because of my dad's service during WWII as a top turret gunner on a B-17. They would not have taken an interest in me, I believe, if I hadn't been his kid (dad was 48 when I was born; I was a total "ooops" baby, lol).

Yes. Wish I had the opportunity to change one thing that likely ends up with my son still being alive.

I would have not visited Dr. Feelgood as frequently as I did. Less booze and other recreational remedies. My life would have been immensely better.

I would have gotten the chicken fried steak instead of the cheeseburger.

I would’ve kept better track of what ballparks I have been to.

I mean are there instances where I should have turned left instead of turning right, absolutely. But I wouldn't change a thing because then I wouldn't be who I am.

I wouldn’t have attended that rap concert

Tried harder in school, both with academics and football.

What would that be? If you don't mind me asking?

During college, one of my better friends got into Bitcoin when it was $0.10. He approached me and offered to set up my machine to mine like his was to generate passive income - I said no. He then told me to just throw $20 or $50 into it - I seriously thought about it but got consumed and never executed.

It's easy enough to say "I could have done 'x'" in life... But I outright rejected someone offering to make me a multi-millionaire with no work on my part. I'd have been retired by my late 20s.

Did your friend become a multimillionaire?

Haha. Wouldn't change it.

I have a lot of things I wish I’d have done differently with hindsight. I’m starting to believe more and more that things happen for a reason….and the choices I made then that I might change, change important things like..the family I have now. I’d not change that.

If I could go back and prevent some accidents and save people I love a lot of pain…I’d do it. But…I can look now on things that resulted from some of those events that were a net positive. I’d like to keep the cow from stomping my mom and I into the ground….but it made me so much more appreciative of my parents and they relaxed more after…..I’d like to keep my son from falling into a fire and save him that pain and those scars….but maybe that toughened him up for something in the future. I’d prevent a couple of car accidents and save myself and a friend some broken bones and arthritis. I’d go intervene before a neighbor kid drowned…..I’d invest in bitcoins and apple and google and Facebook early on…….id have tried harder to have bought a couple of farms…..

But the truth is, when I think about these things, I focus on the fact that while the outcomes are what they are….i did the right thing at the time with the information and situations I had….it doesn’t matter that I could have bought farms for $400/acre that now sell for $6500/acre….i didn’t have th cash to do it. I did the best I could at the time to stop events or help as much as I could at the time. Maybe…things turned out the way they’re supposed to.

At the risk of changing things unintentionally not knowing g the impact of changed outcomes….i guess I’ll take the scars and lessons as part of the process. I’m not changing much.

I would start training the way I do now in my teens.

Great reflection here, and a conclusion I normally settle on too. Like the previous poster who mentioned he could have bought Bitcoin at 10 cents. We all could have, and most of us would have sold at $10, or $100, or whatever. It's easy to look back and woulda coulda shoulda, but it's an exercise in futility.

There are a lot of things I wish I’d done differently…and I’m trying to advise my kids to do better than i did.

I regret the way I treated some people in school. I wish I’d have learned to play guitar. I wish I’d have let some things go that weren’t worth the stress or worth throwing those hands….

I’ve done a lot of reflection the past few months…and I stand by that all of these answers change with age and life experience. The only thing we can do is learn from the things we did or did not do and do better with the rest of our remaining time.

Not getting into Crypto.

I thought this was America?

Probably would have went hunting with my pops more.

Yeah, same here. The few somewhat tragic events in my past were all things that shaped who I am and resulted ultimately in the life I have now, so I wouldn't change anything at all I guess.

There are probably tons of things that dampen down over time to have zero long-term impact. If I could go back and not buy a pair of shoes that ended up being uncomfortable, I might have used the money to get rich on some flash crypto, but most likely I would have just purchased a different pair of shoes that would have made me more comfortable when I wore them. There are probably a thousand different instances where a different decision would increase short-term pleasure or decrease short-term pain without having a long-term impact. It would be nice to change one of those.

But the thing is, we don't know which actions dampen down to zero and which ones don't. Maybe not getting my thumb smashed by the Paraguayan Uber driver in February would have no impact other than me not having a black thumbnail right now. Or maybe staying in the hotel for a day with my thumb in an ice bucket kept me from getting run over by a drunk driver while I was coming home from the Asuncion Museum of Chairs.

Therefore, changing one thing without a long-term impact can by definition only have a fleeting positive impact or avoidance of a negative impact and is therefore trivial by defnition.

Sent you a PM

I wish I hadn't noticed Gracie Hunt's mutant feet. I'll never see her in the same light again.

Taken a left turn instead of a right; waiting for a light to change and got slammed resulting in herniated discs in my neck. Loss of strength in my arms, tremors in my hands, paralyzed left diaphragm and partially paralyzed right diaphragm. I used to be a runner and now get winded walking a couple of miles. Life can and does change in an instant.

I wish I had gotten sober at 30 years old instead of 48.

How many more years till you turn 48, my friend?

I tend to not REGRET too much... maybe I put too much stock in that word.

As for things I would change though, I would go back in time about 15 years ago and tell myself to stop working the university library for pennies. When I left, I literally doubled my income within a year, and worked for like $35k for way too many years as a software engineer. Got bumped to $50k finally, and then $75k for one year, and was making $125k two years after I left the library. It was a nice cush job and I didn't need the money much and enjoyed "not building bombs", but stayed there too long.

Of course, (other than a history of being more poor and not enough investments) I love my life and kids right now and wouldn't want to to lose them for anything. So, maybe changing that means I don't end up where I am now.

Still, would have been nice to own a house before I was 50.

Be nicer to the girl who treated me well and completely ignore the one who didn't.

You can waste years of your life chasing or dating the wrong person.

For those of us in this thread who have gone through a divorce, they'd probably all tell you they'd do things differently throughout some stage of the divorce.

I'm no exception.

This is a hindsight is 20/20 reflection. When I was in college I had this group project with 3 other people. We planned on a Friday night to get together at the house of the 2 female group members and work out what everyone was going to do to finish the project and start working on it.

That night my girlfriend at the time wanted me to come help her decorate a Christmas tree at her mom's singing club. So I was focused on getting back ASAP (I went to school a half an hour from where I lived).

One of the chicks in my group was a complete smokeshow. Thin but athletic build, dark hair and dark eyes, tight pooper and she filled her bra more than adequately. Pretty face, and she was a sweet person. Maybe I'm romanticizing her as this was over 25 years ago, but she was objectively a hot college WOMAN.

That night we had a planning session and started working on the project. All night long the hot girl was being pretty flirty with me, which I didn't realize at first because I wasn't like some kind of stud. I was attracted to her of course, but there's no way this girl didn't have a boyfriend plus I had a girlfriend I was happy with and had been with for a few years. Maybe this girl really liked skinny nerds though, because she was definitely leaving what I thought were bread crumbs.

When we had finished with everything and it was time to go, the other 2 n the group (a guy and girl couple) were going to go to the movies or a party, I can't remember which. They kept trying to get the hot girl to go and she kept saying that she wanted to stay home that night and kept looking at me. It must have been 3 or 4 times that she would look right at me and say, "No I'd rather stay home tonight." She also very noticeably was sang "Feel like making love" when I passed her on the staircase.

My animal instincts had me wanting to hang around and see what happened, but the rest of my brain said there is no way I could pursue this without getting caught somehow. I just was not a smooth liar. And my conscience was strong enough to know that I wouldn't be able to look my serious girlfriend in the eye ever again. Like how was I going to cheat on my girlfriend while she decorated a Christmas tree by herself.

So my big regret now, knowing how the relationship with that girlfriend ended up (with her cheating on me a few years later) and the lineup of women I've been with after that, I should have just done it. On the one hand it would have made me a cheater, which I can say now that I am not. On the other hand, my gut is that this girl wanted to mess around with me for some reason and I wish that I had that memory to think back on.

Yep, i'd have left her 18 years earlier.

Without changing the trajectory of anything, I would not have put in a lawn sprinkler system. The well and pump couldn't handle it. That was a wasted $5000 that lasted all of 15 minutes.

I would have ate nothing but eggs and steak back in my early 20's when I was in extremely good shape. I would have been chiseled if I ate right but I ate out at restaurants a lot and didn't eat enough protein to get those gains that I thought I should have been getting. Every day was an hour lifting and a few hours playing basketball. I still looked good but I could have looked a lot better if I ate nothing but protein and fat (from meat).

Yes

This is spot on. Look, as evidenced by my tongue in cheek posts on both this thread (about ballparks, didn't expect that one to be so well received, lol) and the "regrets" thread (about this years Royals), I don't really believe in regrets or beating yourself up. I especially agree with those who have basically stated that we are a sum being of all our parts, meaning if you like where you are at today, you really don't want anything in the past changed.

The other thing is, to your point, is when most people spend time in regret or beating themselves up, they tend to believe that the best possible dream outcome would've occured had they only invested in whatever, or stayed with the girl or blah blah. I know a guy who was a decent HS football player who struggled with this often. He quit ball to focus on partying, which literally thousands of young people do yearly. As he aged, he used to struggle with beating himself up over how he "could've been in the NFL". It's like, dude .000001% or whatever of amazing HS football players actually ever make it to the NFL and most of them end up Gehrig Dieter, at best. He most likely would've played football for a few more years, quit when he wasn't good enough and gotten a job like everyone else.

There is nothing wrong with looking at your past and letting some of your experience shape your future decisions but at least be realistic about it. Like if my buddy had thought "I wish I didn't quit football when I did, it would've been fun to keep playing and I probably would've gotten laid more". Fine. Then you move on.

I’ve had a tough last couple years. Not going to going to bore you with too many details, but basically had a permanent falling out with some close friends who were very important to me. These people also happened to be coworkers so the circumstances meant a career change was necessary and I had to leave a job that I enjoyed.

It’s been rough since then. I look back at the events of what happened a lot. As weird as it sounds no one was really at fault. I was going through some stuff and they were going through their own shit and communication was bad and eventually before I knew what was going on, we got to a point where things were past the point of no return.

I’m relatively young compared to many here I imagine and I sort of thought that that job and those people were going to be pillars of my life going forward. It all crumbled on me and suddenly i felt like I had no identity. I’ll be honest almost two years later I’m still searching for that purpose again. I think I’m scared that something similar is going to happen to me again and it’s been incredibly difficult to be open with people and trust and all that emotional shit.

Long story short, yeah there are some things I would change there. I have a lot of time ahead of me so I’m sure someday It’ll be just an unfortunate blip in my life, but for now it’s something I constantly dwell on.

But it feels good to get some of that off my chest. Chiefs Planet: Just as good as any of the therapists I’ve been to.

I feel that.

I left a job if had for a long time because I felt disrespected by one of the owners. I thought he wasn’t retiring for 5 years and I was t waiting on him. It was a pride thing….the prick was my boss and didn’t speak to me for a year so it wasn’t like he was even up my ass. New companies flirted and I eventually was recruited away to something that sounded great…but it’s been chaos since and I know they’re going to screw me. I reached out to my old gig and while the relationship with the new president is great, there is t a spot for me and it’s not an option. Looking back, knowing what I know….id have stayed right where I was and the problem guy will be gone at the end of this year.

I learned that people I thought were good friends were just coworkers I liked for the most part.

Because it’s better to look at the windshield than the rear view….ive learned enough from my mistakes and I’m considering other opportunities that might be a lot better.

You just never know where those mistakes are going to tske you.

I'd have done the same thing. I would have waited until I was at least 21, and instead of going active duty, I would have signed a reservist contract, went to college and then become an Officer. Having said that, no regrets. My life is good.

This is so true. Companies, especially large ones, try to gaslight you into believing that you are a part of a family and that your coworkers depend on you. They try to manipulate you into becoming attached to the job and the people you interact with instead of treating it what it actually is: an exchange of your time and effort for money. Your real family is at home. Now I'm not saying that people should be miserable asses at work, but see it for what it is, and don't forget that you'll be forgotten and replaced in weeks, if not days.

There are more important things I would undo or redo if I could but one of the most unique things happened in 1991 or 1992.

I was working for Dean Witter in New Jersey for several years after leaving a penny stock firm, Investors Center, that was a scam. Jordon Belfort got his start there.

I was given two tickets by my manager to the Dean Witter Memorial Golf Tournament in Columbus Ohio that also included the company's hospitality tent.

I was a big golfer and played with my manager and a couple of colleagues often so he knew how much I would cherish them.

Another buddy that worked with me prior and was now at another Dean Witter office agreed to drive out with me. My buddy had a friend from growing up in Pittsburgh that was going to Ohio State and had rooms for us to crash.

We packed up and made the 8 hour trip from NJ to OH. Got to see Ohio State University Stadium during a big track meet and was surprised how cold it was with all the concrete and old surroundings.

Sunday arrived and we headed to the course.

After watching for several hours, we hit the hospitality tent for food and booze. While inside I ran into Jim Higgins, the CEO of Dean Witter. A real great and gregarious Irishman. He remembered me from a few years prior when I went to the US Senior Open at Ridgewood Country Club in New Jersey that we also sponsored and I met him for the first time in the hospitality tent there.

We spent some time talking and he found out I drove all the way from New Jersey.

I went back out on the course to watch more golf along with my buddy for most of the day.

We came back to the hospitality tent and Jim Higgins was still inside mingling with many corporate guests of Dean Witter and the PGA.

He came up to me after a short time and asked me: "Do you have your clubs with you? Tomorrow everyone still here will be playing one hole with Jack Nicklaus and we have a bunch of openings. If you are interested you can play and I will let your office manager know."

I was dumbfounded and he said to let him know soon.

My buddy, who became a big SVP at Raymond James for over 30 years, was just in a new relationship with his girlfriend, who is now his wife and mother of his kids. He said he needed to get back to NJ and couldn't stay and also had to work.

I wish I told him to take my car and I would fly or he could fly back.

Instead I told Jim Higgins I couldn't stay.

So this stupid **** writing this post turned down the chance to play a hole of golf with Jack Nicklaus.

Later in life I had to cancel a round at Pebble Beach with another buddy due to Vertigo and my ear needing to have a large bunch of wax and hair off my eardrum due to extreme pain. He never let me live it down. Neither of us ever played Pebble Beach.

I did get a blowjob from an ex-girlfriend while driving home from Pebble Beach in 2002 after drinks in the clubhouse but it hardly makes up for not playing Pebble Beach.

R.I.P. Jim Higgins - a great guy who passed almost a decade ago.
https://www.vanemburgh.com/obituary/3942085

This is exactly what happened to me.

I got hooked in, line and sinker. Young guy working at a large “hip” company surrounded by other young people in the same boat as me. Tons of extracurricular activities and events you actually wanted to go to. It didn’t take long for me to see my coworkers as my real life best friends. Especially since we would do happy hours and hang out on weekends outside of work.

The work was mindless and boring, but the company did a masterful job of making a day of work feel like going to hang out with your friends so you didn’t care how tedious and dull it would’ve been otherwise.

When everything collapsed on me, it was a cruel lesson that if you meet someone through work, as long as you still work with them they are a coworker first and a friend second.

I made the mistake of forgetting the coworker part and entrusting these people like they were lifelong friends. God it still hurts. I absolutely did not handle some things well but to get stabbed in the back by people that told you that you could trust them is just hard.

Brutal life lesson for a stupid naive young man.

It also plunged me into a deep depression that I’m still crawling out of. Plus I neglected my real friends far too often for these phonies because I thought they represented what I wanted my life to be.

Ugh.

3 pages in and no penis reduction surgery is a bit of a surprise. I would change that.

No Ashley Madison stories?

I used to be a pumping iron bro in my late teens and 20s. All my meathead buddies told me to eat as much protein as possible and eat clean. Avoid bad carbs and alot of carbs. I busted my ass. Cooked grilled steak, chicken, ate brown rice. Whey protein shakes. Eat healthy carbs if you do eat carbs. Awful gains.

Then I said **** it. Imma just eat as much as I can. Stopped worrying about protein. Stopped with the shakes. Pounded McDonalds McChickens. Ate Peanut Butter outta the jar plain. Mac and cheese. Donuts and fried chicken. Basically anything I could pound calories as quick as possible and bam. Huge gains. Looked great.

The ectomorphic life chose me.

I'd of skipped the whole stroke thing

I probably should have had kids earlier in life... but I'm not going to say I wish I would have because I would have a completely different set of demons running around my house destroying shit I just cleaned up.

I also should have left my miserable, soul crushing job 10 years earlier or kept my Magic cards that are now worth a god damn fortune.

Hindsight is 20/20 though and my life isn't too bad as it is currently constructed.

Wish my mom and dad lived longer. Spent more time with my Grandparents instead of working all the time.

Should never have married my 1st wife. Fell into the whole "Love is Blind" pit and got T-boned when she told me she wanted a divorce.

I was in a dark place for about 18 months and finally pulled myself back together and got on with life.

two things come to mind:

1) wouldnt have left college to chase a girl

2) I wish I was as inquisitive about my grandparents' life back then, than I am now (when it's too late. My grandfather was in WW2 and was on-site and witnessed Mussolini being hung. While I don't think he liked to talk about it too much, it would have been nice to have some conversations about what he experienced.

I'd make my dick bigger

Just play with it

As has been mentioned, regardless of the good, bad or ugly in my life, to change any of it would absolutely mean I am not who I am today. Like most people, I have real regrets in life, real pains inflicted by me on others, and also on me by others. It hurts sometimes to revisit these moments in my head, and even in cases where I have been injured but forgave the person, it still hurts. Maybe it's supposed to. It reminds us all that our sins are never personal, and our actions have consequences that are way beyond ourselves.

In any case, I love my life that I have now. I have regrets, but I take solace in the knowledge that those pains were part of a past which has brought me to this present...and this has been a great life so far.

You wanna help me?

I’ve never heard of micro penis’ growing. You’re stuck with that clit sized dong!!:evil:

McChickens rule.

I mentioned some things in the other thread but the major things I’d change if given the opportunity are purely financial.

First off, I’d have bought a house prior to 2021. Really wish I wasn’t such a puss and found a way to make that work. I balked because “Well what if I get a job offer in another city?” “What if I regret it?” “What if, what if, what if..”. Houses I had my eye on were going for $290k at 3.5% in 2019 and now the same houses are going for $550k at 7.5%.

Another thing is that I wish I’d have gotten into investing earlier. From the early 2010s until the early 2020s I didn’t invest a cent. I saved well and felt good about how safe that was, but I was ignorant and didn’t realize 1) inflation was eating up my savings as quickly as it went to my account and 2) I was missing out on major gains. It looks like the S&P500 has just about quadrupled since I graduated college. I missed out on the majority of that growth.

I wish I could go back in time and stop Doc from getting killed.

"scars are souvenirs you never lose"

Are you me?

All of them. I know of one in my group mine that became a millionaire, He posts on here.

I wouldn't change a thing; I've been truly blessed.

Dear God ThaVirus knows him too.

Sure, I regret things in my life. Everyone does. No one is perfect. Its part of what shapes us as humans.

Hey look everyone, McFly is out of the Romper Room.

Going out on the sand dunes on my Banshee all tuned up.

I wish I could go back in time and murder John Connor.

I worked with my father the summer I graduated from high school at a foundry that produced transmission parts for Allison and CAT. Nearly the entire summer had passed, and I was set to start my first year of school for mechanical engineering. We were working, primarily, 7 days a week, 10-hour days. One day he asked me to drive home because he was tired. I didn't think much of it and said yes. I fell asleep at the wheel 3 miles from home and rolled the truck. That accident left him a quadriplegic and me relatively unscathed. I do wish I could go back in time and not drive that day.

As a consequence of that accident, he ended up dying from septicemia 7 years later because the nurses at the University of Michigan hospital didn't change his catheter for 4 days because they "didn't have the correct one to fit him." Meanwhile, my mother was his primary caregiver at home and had a suitcase full of the correct ones in the van we traveled in. Never once did they ask her if she had one, and we'd assumed they were properly changing them. One day he was feeling warm and she could sense a smell, lifted his sheet to check his bag, and could see the infection in his urine. She called the doctor herself. That trip was merely for a medical and ergonomical evaluation mandated by the insurance company to determine his needs going forward.

Not only did I have to live with the accident, keeping my father, best friend, and hunting and fishing buddy, primarily bedridden and only able to speak, but he was prematurely taken because of neglect. So if you ever wonder why I'm a bitter, aging man and hate the UofM, you have your answers.

I've been out.

I’m sorry, kccrow. I wish you could go back too.

Parole?
Probation?
Halfway house?

:thumb:

Changes I would make are about behaviors, not core things about myself.

1. In my 20s, making walking for exercise more of an emphasis that I carried forward. I have re-engaged that in my 40s, and it has made my trips to the gym something that I look forward to, rather than force myself into.

2. Similarly, in my 20s, working on flexibility. I wish I had started yoga then rather than in my 40s.

Hoping my 30s didn't do too much irreversible damage to my body overall.

Buying that Jonathan Baldwin jersey in 2011.

I can't think of anything MASSIVE, but possibly NOT telling "The One that Got Away" that I wouldn't marry her. I told her I was NEVER getting married. She was smokin'! I adored her. But not long after that, she was gone. She passed a few months ago. (There is a lot of that going on in my life)

Thanks to you and the many who sent PMs about it. I've learned that life is seldom easy, and never take the time you have with your family for granted.

Oh, my man. That’s so tough.

If your old man was like mine, I’m sure he would want you to know he loved you and was proud of you and tell you not to eat yourself up with regret over him.

I would not have left my ex-fiancé. I took an easy way out and she didn't even do anything wrong. Loved that woman.

GREAT WHITE BUFFALO