Another Bob Dole NFBT Rant
 

You were warned.

Bob Dole realizes there are some devoutly religious individuals here on the Planet, and actually reads most of the religion-based threads without participating. Bob Dole freely admits to having some serious doubts about the usefullness of <i>organized</I> religion, but openly respects everyone's personal beliefs.

Given that preface, here's the latest event from the Neighborhood from Hell.

As you probably know, Bob Dole's entire lawn equipment inventory performed an assisted disappearing act from the garage last fall. As you probably guessed, Bob Dole has not been eager to rush out and buy new lawn equipment, fearing that it will meet the same end. Thusly, Bob Dole's "lawn" ain't been touched since last fall--except for the motocross track Reliant Energy so thoughtfully built in the side yard.

Other useful background: Bob Dole lives across the street from a large Baptist church. Last Spring, a week after Bob Dole moved in, one of the neighbors (who happens to be a member of the Baptist church across the street) came over and asked Bob Dole if he could do something with his "lawn" because the church was trying to make the neighborhood look nice. Bob Dole, who has historically taken pride in the lawn's appearance, was embarassed that a neighbor came to ask, and promptly fixed the problem lawn, and improved it with flowers and such over the course of the Spring/Summer. At the time of the equipment theft, Bob Dole's lawn looked better than the complaining neighbor's, and he actually had the nerve to stop by as Bob Dole was sweating his fat white ass off one Saturday afternoon and tell Bob Dole as much.

So Bob Dole is sitting here about 15 minutes ago and the Chihuahua Alert System goes haywire and Bob Dole looks out to see some unknown 60-something male walking up the walk. Bob Dole turns down the top volume Hoobastank and answers the door accompanied by 14 total pounds of fury and steps out on the porch with Bud in hand.

"How are you?" inquires the old coot.

"Other than trapped in a house with furious Chihuahuas, pretty well," replies Bob Dole. (Bob Dole takes a pull on the bottle...)

Old guy: "Good...good. Has anyone mention that we has a prospective new minister coming in to visit this weekend?"

Sensing what is about to transpire, suddenly less-pleasant Bob Dole replies, "Why would they? I don't attend that church."

Old fart: "Uh-hum. Well, we have a prospective new minister coming in to visit..."

Rude Bob Dole interrupts, "I gathered that much. Thanks."

Raisin: "Well...um...er...well... We're trying to make sure the neighborhood looks really good and were wondering whether you could do anything with your yard."

Bob-I-Knew-It-Dole: "No, I can't."

Prune Eater: blank stare

Bob-Increasingly-Disgusted-Dole: "Someone was kind enough to steal all my lawn equipment last Fall and I have not yet replaced it. I have been talking to a guy about buying his used Toro, and if he actually shows up with it before the weekend, you can rest assured I'll use it. If he doesn't, I don't really have any way to take care of it. I don't like looking at this shit either, if you want to know the truth, but I'm hesitant to go out and spend $500 on new lawn equipment so the dirtbags can break into the garage and steal it again."

Already-Paid-for-My-Burial-Plot-Man: "Ummm. Hmmmm. Well..."

Bob Dole: "You know, I noticed you had the church lawn done today. If it was really a big concern, you could have had them come over here and chop down my weed patch. Or you can send them back to do it tomorrow if you want. You know...in the spirit of 'Christian Charity' and all..."

Why-Did-I-Get-Elected-to-this-Shit-Guy: blank stare

Bob Dole: (Resisting the urge to point out that the guy does the blank stare thing quite a bit and might want to see his physician about it.) Well, if you guys want to do that, or if the guy shows up with the used mower before Friday and it actually works, I'll sure have it looking spiffy for you. I'm not going to go buy new equipment, nor am I going to pay anyone to come mow it, so I guess it's your choice."

At which point Bob Dole turned around and walked back in to Chihuahua Haven.

Bob Dole supposes the question is: Was Bob Dole out of line? And if you've got enough sack to go ring someone's doorbell to bitch about their yard, and you're really a compassionate, caring person living the Christain lifestyle, wouldn't you feel obligated to offer some sort of solution (other than scissors) when informed that some shitbag stole all the lawn equipment? Hell, Bob Dole doesn't go to church and has mowed a neighbor's yard more than once when they couldn't/wouldn't.

Bob Dole <i>probably</i> isn't going to mow the thing if the guy shows up with the mower in 15 minutes. It's the principle.

I think you covered all the bases quite nicely. If they were so concerned they should have volunteered to mow it themselves, especially after realizing that you were in the process of trying to get a mower yourself. BTW had any more problems with the neighbors??

I've got no problem with what you said/did and I don't think you were out of line at all, under the circumstances.

Other than a few excessive noise (screaming a top volume outin the street) calls to Johnny Law, it's been pretty quiet.

(Knocking on wooden head.)

you covered your bases alright......:rolleyes:
But without diplomacy unlike u.......they mean well and they should handle it. But if you choose to live there then you should keep the lawn up......my opion......like it counts......:rolleyes:

Simply put, you did the right thing.

People like that are nothing short of a nuisance, and if they are so quick to point out a problem, they should be just as quick to help in the solution.

Way to go!
:toast:

Nobody says it like you bob :LOL:

You could always do what my parents did. The state dept of transportation was complaining about my parents not keeping some weeds cut down along the edge of there property. Said it obstructed peoples view.

So dad went out and bought about 10 gallons of some kind of weed killer, and sprayed it all, Including the right a way that was the states responsiblity. Nothin but bare dirt all summer, every summer after that. If a sprout of green showed up, out came the weed killer.

:D

On whose timeframe? There's not a thing out there in the lawn that's taller than 6 or 7 inches. Nowhere near enough for the city to come out and give notice.

Like Bob Dole told the guy--if it was really a big concern, you should have spent the extra $10 and had your lawn people troll across the street with their riding mower and whack the thing down. Bob Dole doesn't give a rat's ass whether they have an interviewee coming to visit or not. Bob Dole isn't going to go buy new equipment, and the toro won't fit in the Acura.

They shouldn't have to come right your doorbell. It is a reasonable expectation that lawns be upkept. You should have explained the circumstances to the old guy without the attitude. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Now, go borrow the neighbor's mower and take care of business. These people probably had a 20 minute meeting and an election to send that guy over....

Sounds like a wise crack'n,smarta$$ Texas Jerk if you ask me ! Way to go Bob, you showed them your true colors all in one day ! Beer drinking slob with a poor excuse not to mend to you lawn duties. The good ole Dole charm at it's finest !

:D ;) :p

________________________________________

As for the church member, he could have offered his services in another way.

_________________________________________

Pop another one bud, you'll get over it soon !ROFL :LOL:

I think the blank stare was shock that you said "no" to start with, and after last time seeing how nice your yeard was he thought no big deal of coming over. Then after you said no, following it with all of your stuff being stolen the guy was just in shock and was rendered useless for the rest of the conversation.

I wouldn't say out of line is wrong, just walking the line. The guy was probably just thinking "holy crap" the entire way home and is more worried that all of your lawn equipment was stolen as he fears for his own.

You know... Maybe Bob Dole could do that, buy a load of gravel and charge $2.00/hour for parking.

This wasn't the neighbor that came over this time, it was some strange guy. And the selection meeting better have taken more than 20 minutes or Bob Dole is slipping.

Bob Dole asked the neighbor to borrow his mower last year when he came over, and the request was ignored (denied). Go figure.

And for the sake of completion: The neighbor who came over last year is aware of the equipment theft, because Bob Dole did the neighborly thing and notified the neighbor as soon as the police left. Bob Dole would wan to know if things were being stolen from next door...

Senator.......

You have an attitude showing that I haven't seen...one thing to tell someone the reason.....another to CHOOSE not to buy lawn equipment again. (notice???? choose????) your choice not to buy, but I would think you would like your yard to look good.

Ok, the old guy here has woke up and has kind of an answer.

First, don't confuse religion with Christianity, that is a common mistake in the world.

Second, if the city/town/subdivision that you live in does not have ordinances regulating the mowing of your lawn, it is nobody's business what your yard looks like. There are places in the country where you can be fined for grass taller than X", and then have to pay the city/town/subdivision authorities for cutting your lawn.

You did not treat this guy poorly, I would guess that you stated your case matter of factly. And you are right, if they were concerned about the appearance of your yard, they would have sent the guy with the machine over to cut it to impress their prospective pastor.

My approch would have been to tell the guy that asked me to come over to pound sand where the sun don't shine. If I was concerned I would have come over and said somethink like:
I've noticed your lawn needs mowing, would you mind if our youth group cut and cleaned your yard?

If a prospective pastor cannot look at the people in the church and decide based on that, the system is wrong.

Have I rambled enough................................I thought so, end of transmission!!

And it's yet ANOTHER thing for neighborhood busybodies to come around to tell you to fix your yard.

You were much nicer than I would have been, Bob.

I, like Bob Dole, find almost no use for organized religion as well. And I have no interest or possiblibly any ability to change someone elses mind and therefore do not read or post to the religious threads. This is one of the big things that irk me about religious people. They don't do anything! They sit in their pew and talk a good talk whilst they rub Ole Ned and figit about. But they never contribute money to the poor, go door to door doing good deeds or do anything else other than offer stale pancakes on signs for passerbys. I believe in helping people in need and I don't need someone coming in and telling me to contribute to a church so they can spend it all on overhead. Meet in a tent give the contibutions to the poor and go about your life. I find major hypocrisy here.</stump>

I like what you said and agree if you don't have a lawnmower what can you do? If they are so worried they should get theirs out and please the lord!

Dave

You must have missed the "new" part.

Bob Dole fully intends to buy a used mower and weed whacker. Bob Dole sure as shit isn't going to rush out and buy <b>new</b> ones. Unfortunately, the Used Lawn Equipment Outlet has been full of complete crap the last few times Bob Dole went shopping, so Bob Dole is dependent on a well-off acquaintance's cast-offs.

(Hoobastank is done and Monster Magnet is playing... Don't quibble with Bob Dole.) :p

OMG Mr Dole
you are my hero:D

I don't think it was out of line at all, I just wish i could have been there to see it. I just about p*ssed my pants readin it.

And u can't afford $100 bucks for a lawn mower? And a weed eater? Thank you:D....I make about 40 less than u but manage to get what I need to take care of my lawn.

Bob Dole hasn't seen any good mower+weedeater combo meals for $100 lately.

And while the lawn isn't neatly trimmed at present, it's a long way from hideous. Bob Dole is just trying to let it go to seed to enhance its lushness. Yeah...that's it.

(Space Lord mother mother...)

Dave Lane,

Please read my last post. You seem to be confusing religion and Christianity. The two are as far apart as day and night. Organized religion is of man, Christianity is of God. Simple difference but alot of people cannot make the distinction. I'm sure that some people do not care about the difference because they don't want any kind of either in their life. In one man's opinion that is too bad. There are some great benefits to being a Christian. Being part of organized religion does not make you a Christian, it means you go to that brand of church.

Believe me there is a difference.

Kevin the BB poster thinks that a few of you are just sucking up to Dole because he's a U.S. Senator and former presidential nominee. While Kevin the capital-punishment-for-petty-theft proponent sympathizes with the Senator's lawn equipment plight, Kevin the homeowner thinks the Senator should go rent an apartment if he doesn't want to take care of his lawn. Kevin the neighborhood nazi has asked neighborhood residents to get their act together on occasion when they have dragged Kevin the future retiree's house value down with their slovenliness.

I should explain too that I'm somewhat ticked off about yard stuff today. For the first time ever, I planted a bunch of bulbs in my yard, and have been pleased to see them come up. We had three beautiful hyacinths bloom a couple of days ago - my first homegrown flowers ever - and SOME IDIOT CAME INTO OUR YARD AND STOLE THEM YESTERDAY! I still can't &$@@(#*!! believe that.

My rider blow up last fall...Just went and bought a new Husqvarna rider yesterday. I highly recommend. Top of the line quality with a much better price than John Deere and Cub Cadet.


http://www.usa.husqvarna.com/

That's it! My wife wants me to break out the leaf blower/sucker and remove the leaves from the front yard. I however don't think a little leaf on the ground every 10' or so looks so bad. Besides I don't even have a tree in my front yard. Thanks to Dole I now have a new plan. I'm going to steal my own leaf blower! Maybe I can pawn it for a little pocket money. Wonder what I can get for the rake?

PhilFree;)

I better not catch you trying to fence my hyacinths, phil. (See post 22.)

Where to start????????
 

Bob:

While I might(and emphasize might) understand the request of the gentleman, his modus operandi stunk.....

I agree with what has been already stated...maybe asking if the Youth Group could do the yard work as a project...maybe the men of the church could volunteer to do it also.(Our Men's group has a rotation schedule for assisting in yard work for those who need a hand, whether for an elderly widow, someone who has had a loved one pass away recently, or someone who is temporarily incapable due to surgeries)

Your visitor, and all of those who elected him to visit you, missed the meaning of Christian charity, and for that those of us who are Christians apologize.

Sanctimonious garbage or poorly contstructed sarcasm, you be the judge.

Meanwhile, I will say way to go Senator :toast: what kind of man of God would not take a ministry because the grass was a couple of inches too high anyway?:rolleyes:

Tom....
 

Thank you for eloquently stating my position, and saving me the energy of posting that same thought...

mark
**********

No I wouldn't fence the flowers but maybe I could give them to my wife to suck up for not removing the leaves.

PhilFree
~pays $20.00 a pop to have his yard mowed and weed wacked~

Logical feels better about his $100 a month to have the gardner mow once a week, prune the bushes and do general maintenance on all the flowers and shrubs. Logical has a black thumb and hates lawn work.

I didn't say combo dummy......$100 a piece.......;)

Dear Bob - I would do as I have done with all my neighbors who cross me; I egg their house repeatedly. No, I'm serious. Ever washed egg off your house? Ever washed it off with a neighbor staring at you? Knowing said neighbor egged your house? Try it. It will also make you feel better.:evil:

What it sounds like to me is that the man who showed up on your doorstep missed a golden opportunity to demonstrate to you true Christian compassion.

When you explained to him that you had no yard tools (no matter what tone you used) and invited him to send someone from the church over to fix the problem, he should have cheerfully agreed to do so.

His reaction gave you a poor opinion of the church and Christians in general. I'm sorry for you and others that there are so many of us who fail too often (and I include myself as one who fails far too often.)

I really feel for all your lawn troubles..... :D
But now that I'm in the land of little rain...


Don't water = Don't mow :p

Tom and Mark

It seems we think alike on this. :)

I'll bet it was a Ned Flanders type. "Hi diddely ho neighbor could you please cut your yard."

Before Bob Dole signs off for the evening and leaves the wrong impresion, Bob Dole would like to clarify something.

This evenings visitor's behavior was a reflection of <b>his</b> behavior and not a reflection of all Christians. Bob Dole makes the assumption that this "spokesman" for his local church <i>considers</i> himslef a Christian man, and Bob Dole simply finds it a little tough to swallow that <b>he</b> (the Christain man) would behave in this way.

Bob Dole has a lot of friends who are religious, and quite a few that consider themselves Christian, and Bob Dole values those friendships. Please do not take this thread as an indictment upon all believers. The only reason religion was mentioned was to illustrate that it wasn't the owner of Steve's Tatoo Shop who rang the doorbell.

Religion has got nothing to do with it.

DONT TREAD ON ME!

If ya wanna be a pain in the ass Bob here's what ya do. You go out and borrow a push mower. Now take it home and carefully mow a pentagram in the tail grass in the front yard. See if they appreciate your effort????

Bob Dole....
 

What concerns me is that too many people get the wrong impression of Christians from small incidents like these....

Now, if it had been me, and upon hearing that your lawn equipment had been pilfered, I would have certainly volunteered my services....

Afterwards, I would admit that I might say something like this.....

"Mr. Dole, if you don't mind, I would like to bring my mens group over and do your yard work for you next time as one of our projects, until such a time as you are able to purchase some equipment.....

I must admit that many times the gentleman who runs "Steve's Tatoo Shop" knows a bit more about Christian duty, than those who profess to be Christians...

mark
********

Old Geezer...
 

I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that great minds think alike....;)

mark
**********

I'm not a religious guy at all, and generally have little patience with discussions of religions, but I have to ask: why should being religious require one to be a sucker? Why can't a person go to a neighbor and say, "Hey, fella, you mind taking care of your property a little better so we're not all embarrassed to be living near you?" without being encumbered to take care of the neighbor's lawn themselves? That's taking expectations of religious charity a bit too far, in my opinion.

Of course, if any of you religious folk disagree, you're welcome to remodel my basement for me. It's the right thing to do, you know.

Why should someone of a Church receive special dispensation?

Mr Dole handled the situation correctly.

I can honestly say that I've met the Dole man. He is neither an ass or a saint. I consider him a friend. I agree that he handled the situation correctly. The "old Fart" that came to the door is the one that handled the situation poorly.

For the Record: Not one time did I think tha Bob Dole was slamming those that profess to be Christians rather the people in the world that always identify the problem without having some plan of action to make it better.

Well as for me, me thinks Dole enjoyed his little discussion with the man from over yonder. Mr Dole likes to have these type of fits from time to time to ventilate his daily frustations ! Go ahead Bob, rant on some more, we like to read what you think !:rolleyes:

Have another beer and buy a mower and you won't have these neighborhood problems. :D
_____________________________________

Another entertaining chapter of "The Life and Times of Bob Dole" ROFL :LOL:

I ask myself this question every day. Let me start by saying the guy was out of line. If a minister wouldn't take a job because the lawn across the street looked nappy then he isn't qualified to be a minister. Does he spit on the homeless if they come into the church unbathed? Anyway, I am fortunate enough (not) to be the Secretary-Treasurer of the Homeowners Association in my neighborhood and I get to do that type of **** every day. In my position, if your yard was bad (and it would have to be pretty bad) and you refused to mow it, then I get to hire someone to mow it for you. Then I get to send you a bill. Then if you don't pay I get to charge you interest and penalty fees. Then, if the amount gets high enough, I get to place a lein on your house. Needless to say, no one wants to be my neighbor. Little do these people know that I am the best person to live next to because I see how petty most of the complaints are. I don't care if you leave your landscaping lights on all night or if you have late, somewhat loud, parties on the weekends. If I complain, I just give myself more work. Just don't let your dog crap in my yard and I'll keep to myself except for sharing a beer with you on a nice summer evening in the back yard. Some things are not worth thinking about. If you find a used mower - great, mow the yard. If you don't, don't. The thought you have to put into not mowing just to prove a point is a waste of your time. Plus, the longer you wait, the harder it is to mow! :banghead:

Put up a fence and buy some cows, goats,and a horses....... this ought to get them rattled up ! The grass may not be tall, but the smell might turn some heads during the services.ROFL :LOL:

Had it been me, I'd probably have pointed down the street to where the thieves live (I'm assuming their yard probably ain't in the greatest shape, either) and said "Go talk to those white trash c#cksuckers - they stole all my lawn equipment. And while you're at it, since I assume you're in tight with the Lord and all, perhaps you could get some lighting bolt or brimstone action going to wipe those fuckers off the block. Thanks for stopping by. Would you like a lemon bar?"

Personally, I live in a townhouse. The condo association takes care of that crap. A bunch of Mexicans mow my yard. It works for me.

Kevin it became an issue when the man presented the issue as a special request because a potential new minister was coming to vist that weekend. If in fact he had just said your grass is a little unkept could you take care of it. It would have been a one on one issue. Saying no or yes for that matter would just have been one man saying no to another man.

I would love to be neighbors to Frazod and Mr. Dole. all that entertainment, i'd never have to buy cable tv or go to the movies:LOL: :D

:LOL: ROFL :LOL:

D@m man, sometimes I worry about you. Always have this image that some fday I'll get to see you..........


On TV with 3/4 of the Chicago PD lying dead in the street, Army tanks in the fore ground, and the TV anchor talking about a derainged man in the Denny's pissed of about the price of his meal, or some other equaly wierd situation :D


J/K ya know :p

Classic! Nice Call Dole. ROFL

I've got a really low tolerance level for petty crap, especially when it comes to my house. I'm very happy that I have very little responsibilities when it comes to the outside of my home - all I have to do is water the yard occasionally. That I can handle. I hope I never have to deal with my condo association, because I'm sure it wouldn't go over well. I already had to mount my friggin satellite dish on the ground right in front of my front door because the assholes don't allow them mounted on the building. Apparently it's an eyesore mounted on the building - but right in front of my door, well, that's just fine. :rolleyes: Facist pricks!

:cuss:

Anyway, I'm sure Bob will deal with his yard when he's able. It's only April, for Christ's sake.

And I agree with what Mrs. Headsnap said about the minister. If he bases his decision to minister to a community based upon landscaping appearances, chances are he's not worth having around in the first place.

Awesome, Dole. (ala SNL) "Bob Dole's lawnmower. That's Bob Dole's lawnmower!!"

Relax, JOhn. If it was going to happen, it would have by now. I'm far calmer than I used to be..... :eek:

:evil:

Out of line?

Hell no, your my new hero!

I wish I had a sack that big. But I guess when I'm your age gravity will have taken care of that. :p

Stop the car!!! screeeeech.
 

I would've mowed it...Then knocked on the door and asked for a beer.

I wanted to bump this up for anyone who missed it. Pretty funny.

I would recommend that Bob Dole purchase a bunch of those little yard Gnomes. Paint them black with pentagrams and adorn them on your lawn in compromising positions. I assure you that the length of your grass will no longer be the primary problem.

Bob Dole was thinking about lining the sidewalk with empty beer bottles with candles stuck in them. Or maybe putting a bunch of trash bags on the front porch.

If Bob Dole gets a chance today, Bob Dole will take a picture of the "lawn" and let people judge for themselves.

They must do it different in Tejas.

I don't know why your yard would keep a preacher from coming to a church.....Its actually a new concept to me.....as a Catholic, they don't have a choice.

I don't think they had the right to ask you to cut your grass because of that. If it were a problem, I know that one of our guys would have just done it, or as suggested, had the youth group etc...help you out.

or at least loan you a mower.

Charity is supposed to be a major part of what "we" do.
I've cut wood for an old lady who couldn't and heated by wood stove only.
worked on Habitat for humanity home remodeling
mowed yards
collected food
donated mon-ay, etc...


I currenly have a couple of neighbor problems with garbage in my yard. One is an old man whose wife is dying. His garage is losing shingles badly and about 5 gallon bucket a week blows into my yard.....I just pick them up and say nothing....he has enough to worry about.

The other is a new "subway" that is pretty close.....After 9 months of picking up subway cups, lids, wrappers, and boxes......Last week I picked up 5 large boxes, several cups etc....I took them back over, put them in the dumpster and mentioned it to the shift manager(kid) politely....The next day....3 more large boxes....Took them back and asked the kid to kindly have his manager remedy the situation...asked for the managers hours, and mentioned that this would be my last polite return..

Next time, I'm piling it up in a box, and dumping it in the lobby during the lunch crowd rush.......They should at least hook me up with a free "Jarrod action figure" or card.

I don't think you were out of line and probably handled it better than I would have. I basically would have told him to get lost and mind his own damn business.

ROFL

Damn!t.....now I have the "he's Henry, Clay Henry" song in my head.

:bang: Jarrod, Clay

Bob dole should consider buy an in operable 1970's model monte Carlo, park in front yard, remove tires and set on blocks. That way you could meet the Texas lawn care recommendations.

You can also decorate with a used toilet in the yard, w/ pot full of Flower of your choice. Don't forget the cutout of the large old lady bending over to show them her bloomers.

The guy was out of line, a minsiter shouldn't look at the surrounding property to make judgement on accepting the job.
The man took the wrong approach...........

As for Mr. Dole...outta line ? To some people, yes, to most...NO ! Not sure how I would have reacted in this situation.... these things catch you off guard.

But I would have loved to be present for this one, to see the reaction of our famous senator in action. Can see it now.... sarcatic demeanor ,wise cracking Texan with a beer in the hand..........

" Priceless " :D

The bent over wooden lawn ornament thing is an excellent idea. Maybe Bob Dole can find one before Saturday.

Bob's gonna be known as the stinky guy in the neighborhood next.ROFL

Adam Sandler was onto something!
 

I've been thinking.

If someone were to complain about my lawncare choices...I might be inclined to purchase a goat for about $12 at any auction barn......tie a 10lb weight to a rope around its neck or leg.....and let it gingerly wander my home range.

It would chew down the weeds in wonderful shapes and patterns, and leave natural fertilizers to improve your turf. Its hooves work as aeration devices, it doesn't polute the ozone(other than occasional methane gas), serves as a petting zoo for the poor children of the congregation and it can "sing" along during their services.

AND the next time the old guy comes over....You can ask him if the goat just called him "Daaaaa' aa'aad"

I hope they send Terdell Sands over to "request" your co-operation next time. hee hee

I think you showed remarkable restraint Mr. Dole...

I am just glad for your sake that you are not a 9 year old boy...oh wait, that's the Catholics...(I'm Catholic so bugger off, I can make jokes about my own religion if I want...)

Send me an airline ticket and I'll come down and mow for you.

Bob Dole has been asking people at work to contribute tacky lawn ornaments, but hasn't gotten any offers yet. Someone did inidicate that Wally World has some extremely gaudy pink flamingo windmill things in stock, however.

http://www.zoodoo.com/image1.gif

do this...
 

find out the Ministers name and paint a big welcome sign really badly, mis-spell every other word, let the paint run, just make it look bad. Put up the sign and decorate the outside of your house with tacky streamers, and baloons.

make him think that you are a freak that attends the church.:D


that should teach em...

May I suggest an ornament for the front window senator...

http://www.chezmolestudio.com/Gifs/LegLamp2.jpg

I also think this man's intentions were wrong, and his priorities.

He should have started complaining about the Chihuahua alert system first.

The shrill barks, followed by a stern, thunderous shout of disapproval from Bob Dole.

That has got to be worse than the yard and louder than Hoovastank.


Next time spit beer in his face. That is always a deterrent for future visits.

BD would suggest calling the church and ask when said preacher will be visiting. When he arives have some Disturbed cranking about a 1000 watts with all your windows open. When the old raisin shows up answer the door nude with 666 tattood on Bob Dole's forehead. That should be the last time you see those guys.

BTW, what on gods earth made Bob Dole choose a Chihuahua?

What is a Chihuahua?

Yo quiero el rato...
 

Oh

I pictured Dole as more of a German Shephard type guy.

You're the only one here that has had the pleasure of witnessing the event firsthand. All the rest can only imagine...