Beating the shit out of a co-worker
 

You know, I just don't get it. I was raised that if you ****ed something up you better take accountability for it and make sure you don't write a check with your mouth that your ass can't cash.

I'm at work, and everything is going great until I stumble upon this ****stain that is completely ****ing off on a project that I'm going to have to fix later on. He was a scrawny little **** so I thought reasoning with him would solve the problem quickly.

No. This little shit obviously doesn't care about working here, and it's just a paycheck too him until he can get the **** out and start stunt doubling in porn on small cock films. Ridiculous. He starts talking shit about different ways to skin a cat and I told the little shit that I was going to skin him if he didn't take his work more seriously.

He continues running his mouth to the point that I told him I'd see him out in the parking lot after work. Needless to say, he shut the **** up at that point and I figured I'd be better off just fixing his **** up later and not letting the situation escalate too far. Before my shift ends, the ****ing police show up threatening to take me to jail for "assaulting" this kid. Jesus. He started the whole thing by being a ****ing asshole when I tried to explain how he could better do his job!

Turns out this little pussy went to H/R saying I threatened him! He was pretty nasty in some of the shit that he said to me, and I just responded in kind. He then goes and turns the tables on me portraying me to be some kind of asshole that just wanted to pick on someone half my size. As if it's my fault that God made him an oversized midget, and his father never taught him how to communicate with people in ways that wouldn't get his shit pushed in.

Luckily for me I've been here for years and the folks in H/R know my character. They told him it wasn't a big deal, and there wouldn't be any more problems. Case should be closed. I'd be happy to square it away with him myself, it's not like I was going to cave his skull in or anything. It was just the heat of the moment. I was looking forward to speaking with him last night to try and bury the hatchet but it turns out the little pussy just up and quit when H/R told him they weren't going to fire me! Wow. What are you going to do...

LMAO

Nice

Classic

LMAO

Stealing this.

Rep

At least he didn't call the cops on you....oh wait.....

LMAO

Holy shit. I would piss my pants if a man of your stature uttered those words to me.

Should of caved his head in.

J/K





or am I? :D ;)

Dammit! Fixed. Rep.

WAIT

THIS IS A TROLL THREAD

IT'S EVEN FUNNIER

he probably seen you putting ice cubes in your mouth. thats why he called the cops.

You're a fool for this.

Wow.

I threw a mexi off a roof ... he never came bak to work ....

Flop, while I sypathize (more than you know) you need to be careful of what you say, especially here on teh internetz.

See, nowadays it seems men no longer settle there differences with words or even fists if it comes to that. No, they run to HR and get lawyers. It's the...civilized thing to do.

It makes me feel old. World full of pussies.

nice ROFL

This thread is so ghey that the gerbil in it's ass has a gerbil in it's ass.

...a lot of the time, guys like you are all bark and no bite...you're lucky the young guy didn't call your bluff after work and laughed while your middleaged endurance/stamnina dies in fifteen seconds.

I hope Chuck Norris teabags Flopnuts for being so mean.

Well played, sir... well played. How else are you going to handle some snotty little half pint of a person.

These threads never get old to me.

Welcome to the new days. The old days of beating someone up have been over for awhile. Now it costs you too much money, fines and jailtime. You did threaten him and your lucky you don't get fired.

Really? LMAO

This place needed a good parody thread so bad half the respondents didn't get it when they read it.

Bahahahaha....epic troll bait.

LMAO

absolutely! we'll take care of this after work is nothing more than a bluff a from a scared man. he woululd've run circles around you!

Gerbils up an ass with a gerbial up its ass?

Mr. Flopnuts getting nuts flopped on him?

Escher would be dazzled.

Flop you should have told him you have a black friend that could call on the Panthers and have him erased from memory. He wouldn't tattle to nobody. Just sayin. :D

You a Tri-Lamb?

Flopnuts once pulled over by the side of the road and beat me for gas money.

I love it when people take these threads seriously ROFL

Just make up and be best friends.

http://i.imgur.com/0Ib6z.pnghttp://

"HOW DOES MODFIST FEEL, CLAY? WHERE'S YOUR PROXY IP NOW, BITCH?"

...he screamed.

Have no idea what that is....a fraternity? I must say if I joined a fraternity it would be the one my brother joined and that's SAE.

sae what?

"I'M SORRY, MISTER FLOPNUTS" I screamed into the chill Missouri air, my blood spattering the rocks that line the highway in that part of the state.

"IT'S TOO LATE NOW, CLAY," he screamed in reply. "YOU'LL NEVER TROLL AGAIN!"

"YOU'RE RIGHT I WON'T! I SWEAR IT! NO MORE TROLLING!"

"YOU CAN'T TROLL WITHOUT YOUR HANDS, CAN YOU?"

I felt the cold sting of sharp serrated steel against my wrist.

I plan on kicking your ass right AFTER the CP bash.....in the road right in front of Nzoners!!!

You're like 60. LMAO

**** YOU!!! I'm 51 damnit Carl!!! With the aerobic fitness of a 70 year old!!

don't forget to wear your I'm a MFer shirt...

lol @ this thread.

You mean MC Escher?

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/qbb0qZ6xq6w" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

You've got this %(/

A co-worker should NEVER be treated this way. It cannot and will not be tolerated. Prepare for legal action sucker.

But Clay should!!!

THE BLOOD POURED FROM MY HORRENDOUS STUMPS IN GREAT GUSHING TORRENTS

"WHY?!??! WHY?!?! ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS TROLL" I screamed between tears, as pain and shock racked my body from the slashing trauma that had been inflicted upon me.

"WHY? WHY???!?!?!" he screamed back?

"Yes, why?" I replied most courteously.

"No reason."

Then he left. And I bled to death.

ARE YOU CALLING ME SCARED? WE CAN SETTLE THIS LIKE MEN AFTER THIS THREAD IS OVER! COME AT ME BRO!

You've made this a hostile post environment. You'll be hearing from the EEOC!

nice one flopnuts

You should've just beat his ass anyway.

tell him this, word for word, in a menacing voice while you look right into his eyes:

Don't say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I've been polite. If you say ANYTHING else - ONE word - I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the Master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this Fear Engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming -as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of NOTHING will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark world will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.

Watch Revenge of the Nerds.
:shake:

White people movies. /Setsuna

In all seriousness, I would have grabbed him by his pencil neck, lifted him up in the air, and in a real slow tempo grumbled in his ear that people who don't fight at work are a dying breed.

ROFL

I don't know what's worse the fact that he stole that or the fact that you knew it.

Sorry that you suck at the internet.

I agree with the bolded part. The walking off the job is a good indicator what he's most likely going to try next. Prolly not at you but the company.

this small cock stun t double ?
what does it pay?
and can I get extra money for premature ejaculation?

I ma have found a new part time job


well at 3 minutes a shot

Clever. Yet simple.

Hey at least he quit and will be getting no unemployment..

Hey I'm glad you can see the future and know what's going to happen! Good for you :thumb:

I haven't read the whole thread... but I once woke up a weekend employee who had passed out on the break room table and escorted him out and collected his keys. That's as close to kicking a co-workers ass as I've come.

i'll see you at the bash, punk!

BLOOD WILL SPILL IN THE STREETS!!!!....

Don't let them knock over and spill the Jagger fighting.

Alright fellas heres how it works:
$1 to look at it
$2 to touch it
$3 to watch me touch it
$5 to touch it while im touching my toes
$6 to touch it while i touch your toes
$10 for a bj
$12 for an hj
$15 for a zj
What's a ZJ ?
HA if you have to ask big man, you cant afford it.

Dude, I'm sorry but I'm kinda skeptical.

You said you weren't going to cave his skull in or anything but yet you wanted to meet him outside in the parking lot? What were your intentions? Was it to reason with him in the parking lot? Eh, I don't know.

When people want to meet outside after work I interpret that as taking problems to another level to the point where they need to be resolved with physical confrontation.

I mean, why else would a person say that? Because obviously they want to keep physical confrontations away from work so they can protect themselves that way.

Now, I'm not accusing you of being a liar or anything. Don't take me the wrong way. It sounds like you had something in mind. I don't know what it is? and I'm not going to assume anything either. But, nonetheless, both you and your co-worker are to blame. You are both verbally assaulting each other. It sounds like your work doesn't want to take accountability on this situation. To me, that's a shame.

*Im sure you learned out of this situation though? Be careful what you say to people in the workforce. You almost got yourself in trouble. Good luck to you in the future.

Thank you, Darth Vader. I was tired of Luke's side of the story.


:D

I appreciate your input. Maybe I should look into some anger management classes. I'm a lover. Not a fighter. Do you know anyone I could see for some therapy?

I can show you how to manage anger.

And the Troller shall become the Trollee.

ROFLROFLROFL

Geez. I didn't see the other thread until after I posted. I hate me...

You're the pussification of the country.