Is it possible to have a best friend who is the opposite sex?
 

I have pondered this, and I think it is virtually impossible. I have had 3 girls who I would consider best friends at points in my life, but all 3 came to a crashing end. They eventually came to a part where they wanted a dating relationship and I did not. I think for a guy to have a girl who is their best friend, the guy either has to be gay or the girl has to be married for it to work. At least in the kind of girls I deal with.

The most recent was a girl I posted about on here last year, we had known each other since we were kids. We dated for a couple of months while she was in her senior year. Then I cut it off when she went to college, and I thought things were cool. We were best friends up until this year, she has had a boyfriend for the last 5 years, and we were fine. Now that I have a girlfriend, she actually told me I either choose to date my current girlfriend or her friendship. So I chose to date this girl, and we have not spoke since, and I never saw it coming, she completely changed once I found somebody. I couldn't have cared less when she got a boyfriend, but apparently when we agreed to just be friends she still deep down wanted something more.

Anyone have any thoughts on this, Im sure it will change as the age group of the girls I am around continue to grow older each year. All of these girls except one are in college still FTR.

If they're really ugly, then yes.

But seriously the hard part is when there's other people involved. I know I wouldn't love it if my fiancé was hanging out with the same guy all the time. And I don't think I'm being ridiculous about it either....

Bitches are crazy.


The End

luv is my best friend

we are platonic lovers

we share all our secrets

I've had a very similar experience, Mr. kcchiefsfanGoJC, and have concluded that it is, in fact, impossible for a female "best friend" or "good friend" relationship to remain Platonic. I think it has to do with spending time together. Eventually, something happens. It always does.

FAX

no

What that dude said about if chick is ugly is right. Probly. holla

nope, they're is still tension.

Is love worth losing your best friend?

Seinfeld pulled it off.

I have a gorgeous gal friend that is just a friend. Something about her doesn't make me stir "down there". Maybe because she's a Raider fan??? Anyway, I treat her more like a sister than anything else.

ROFL

Rep

No New Year's kiss, huh?

Paging Shyguyms

Absolutely. I have 14 of them and it works great! /Tiger Woods

Absolutely not.

Depends... if either of you has wanted to date the other, or if you have dated in the past... I don't think you can be best friends without something awkward happening.

I've been really good friends with girls (back in my dating days), but I'm not sure they would have been called my best friend. Probably my best female friend that wasn't my girlfriend...

I dunno, I think it just boils down to the whole sex thing... and like I said, if there's a history there or if either of you would ultimately like to get sweaty and naked... the best friend thing will fail.

No, not for me if she is decent looking I'm going to try to fuck her. If she is ugly then I'm not going to talk to her so we couldn't become best friends. So, I just stay away from the platonic girl best friend thing.

Of course. My wife is my best friend.

* Can't help but think of the "fuck buddy" scene from 40 Year Old Virgin *

Yes, even though what EyePod said is true, it can 'cause some issues if there are others involved.

Helps if they are a lesbian though, lol.

Yeah, and if your best friend is a lesbian... then you can invite her over for drinking games with you and your girl... see what happens. Whole new meaning to BFF.

I had one girl best friend and a number of good friends that were girls.

Well, that would sort of lead to the whole complication mess, wouldn't it?

So, in your adult life... you had a girl that you would have called your best friend, not one of your male friends? If so, that's cool... in 3rd grade, my best friend was a girl... but, I really dug her too... so, ultimately I was just trying to get her to check the "do you like me like me" or "just like me" box.

Certainly...

I've had a lot of female friends and some were girls I dated and or had sex with. I still talk to most of them but now that I'm married I don't go out of my way to spend time with them. And my wife is comfortable me being around them, it's just I don't feel for it to be appropriate for me to be going out and about and hanging around a woman that isn't my wife. If I've gone out to meet one of those girls without my wife, it's because their boyfriends were with them.

As far as friendship goes I'm always able to pick up where our friendship left off. I've known some of the girls since I was 11 so there's a lot of history. But I would never want my wife to suspect or accuse me being interested in another woman. And while I think my female friends are some of the most beautiful women I've known, I know there's a reason why I didn't commit to them when I did have the chance!

Yes. Even if your not attracted to a chick if you can still be cool and she can hook U up
with her hot friends. Guys can be such dicks to chicks they are not attracted to. You never
know when the fatty u just were mean to has a million hot, slutty friends.
Posted via Mobile Device

You can't **** with nature. Eventually your dick will find its way to her vajayjay

I agree.

Better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all. So yes.

i have some girls that are just friends they aren't what I am looking for in a girl.

I think it's possible, but it's difficult. If there's any attraction there whatsoever, it will get in the way at some point. Of course, it depends on the people involved, their ages (probably easier to do it at 40 than at 20), whether or not they have significant others, whether or not they "did it" in the past (probably easier to be friends with someone you've already f**ked and decided it wasn't going to work out as a romantic relationship).

Cross thread humor from the HOC amirite?

Yes... my roommate is a very attractive female who has a boyfriend, and it's not a problem for anyone (and no, I'm not gay). I have a few other really good female friends, some married, some not.... there have conversations about a SO possibly having an issue, but nothing's ever happened and I've never broken off a friendship because it went too far or due to jealousy or any other issues.

I don't see the big deal. Granted, I'm not all that threatening, but I'm not hopeless when it comes to dating, either.... and I've dealt with it both ways, where I'm the one who is interested or they're the one interested.

It's mostly about respect of everyone involved, and being grown up about it.

When you learn to figure out women, write a book about it. You will be richer than Bill Gates. Most women I know, can't even understand women.

My best friend in grad school was a woman who was probably 22 years old and single, and at the time I was 29 and married. And my best friend in my first Denver job was a married woman about my age. In both cases, we were good friends for a long time until our life circumstances changed, and we still do the Christmas card exchange.

I imagine that if all parties were single, there would've been dating involved in each case. But in all cases at least one of us was married, so nothing ever happened or was even considered or discussed. We were just good friends.

Having said that, I guess there are three caveats:

First, as donger said, one's spouse is one's best friend by default. I'm talking about best friends outside marriage.

Second, we were best friends in our common environments, but not outside it. At grad school, I hung out with my friend and we had lunch together and did projects together and stuff, but it's not like we did anything socially outside school. When the day was done, we went home. In the work environment, it was the same deal. We ate lunch together and tried to get on projects together and maybe once or twice in six years we snuck out early to a happy hour, but that was it. (There were a few business trips in that case too, which is why we tried to work on projects together since you'd end up eating dinner together and stuff and you didn't want to hang out with coworkers you didn't really like, but there weren't many of those.) These people were definitely my best friends at the time and I spent lots of time with them at school and at work, but when you're married, you tend to do almost all your social stuff with your spouse.

Third, "best friend" can be defined different ways. I have a handful of past friends that I see once every two or three years who have Hall of Fame status, and I view them differently than my definition of a "best friend". I view a "best friend" as a person who I currently spend my time with and talk to frequently, but my "best friend" at any given time may not be Hall of Fame stature.

One of my closest friends is a girl. She's awesome. She has the most masculine line of thinking of any girl that I've ever met, and she has an incredible sense of humor. She happens to be very attractive, too. We became very close friends four years ago and I can't tell you how many times we've slept in the same bed, yet we've never been intimate. It is a 100% platonic relationship.

Countless people have informed me on how strange they think our relationship is... and I always tell them that I completely agree. It's strange as shit. I never saw it coming/didn't think it was possible either.

Of course it is possible. Most of my good friends from college are women. Some of them were in comitted relationships and some were single. Sometimes I was in a relationship and sometimes I was single. Either way, it was cool.

#1: you sure you're not gay?

#2: pics of her, please. :D

I was "best friends" with a girl in high school. We were never romantic in any way, shape or form, just good friends. She was (and still is) very attractive to this day.

We're still close but separated by life and 2,000 miles.

You've slept in the same bed? What is that about? I've had a lot of friends in my life, and I've never slept in the same bed with any of them, male or female. Yeah, maybe on a band trip we had to go two to a bed, but that was a budget decision by the band director. That wasn't my call. But even then they were guys. How the heck were you sleeping in the same bed with a female friend? And I'm sorry, but friend or not I'm going to have to penalize you major points for doing that and not making a move. That's unacceptable manly behavior right there.

only if one of them is completely disinterested in the other.


but even then it's not really best friends ... it's master/love slave without the sex.

Wanna be my friend?

Yes. She's one of my best friends and the mother of my goddaughter.

Of course, 20 years ago she ripped my heart out, tore it to little pieces, lit them on fire and then pissed on the ashes, but after the next one did all that and worse, I got over it. I'd probably count on her to be there for me over anybody else on Earth.

It must be a type thing. There've been some women that dating was innevitable, but I've been friends with others that I never ended up dating because they had a different taste in who they usually dated.

2 or 4 legged female...

It is definitely possible; my closest friend in the world is a girl I have known since we were in our early 20s (more than 15 years ago).

If you are not attracted at all to them and vice versa, then yeah.. If they are attractive at all, then no..

you are *****in gay, please cut your dick off, you have no use for it.

No you can't, esp when you get a GF, she becomes your fbff

NO WAY!!!

The first 1:00 of this. (They let it run too long, the last 1:27 is pointless to the argument.)

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It's possible. So is winning the lottery or surviving multiple lightning strikes.

Friends yes, best friends no. You'd have to be extremely feminine or she'd have to be extremely masculine and the result of that would be there's no attraction. That's why as kids it's possible since there are a lot of "tomboy" girls and house playing dudes.

How can I say this without sounding like an arrogant asshole?

I have dated a lot of different girls since I have met her. I don't want to say that I date girls that are better looking than she is, but I would have to say that they are.

However, even when I have been single, we haven't ever done anything intimate or had serious talks about dating eachother. She's a different kind of girl, to be honest; I can't really explain it. She's like a mix between Mary from "There's Something About Mary" and Sarah Silverman. But, neither of us are sexually attracted to one another.

Her and I like to blame our peculiar "platonic-ness" on a cosmic happening; we were born on the exact same day in history (star-crossed non-lovers).

Sidenote: You should have seen us the night we both turned 21. Complete shit show.

Meh. You'll **** her one of these days.

This... if for no other reason than curiosity finally getting the best of you both.

So....

The word "best" then doesn't mean that much to you.

I tried to write a book about women once, but it ended up becoming a Choose Your Own Adventure format. Heh.

Blow ME!!
SUCK MY BALLS WHILE YOUR AT IT

Brock Sucks cock, maybe he can help you out

Anything is possible, but it sure as shit isn't likely.

'Best' alone could just as easily mean 'best right now' as 'best ever'. Your 'best friend' I think generally means your best friend 'right now'. I mean, was is your best friend from 10 years ago still your best friend? How about from high school? As a kid?

That said, I gotta go with no.

Typically, it's because one or both of us is completely shitfaced and needs a place to pass out.

I don't try to hook up with her for three reasons:

1. Sex would undoubtedly ruin our friendship.
2. I've never been that sexually frustrated/desperate to try it.
3. I am currently living in the oasis of beautiful women known as Texas State University... Endless amounts of "other fish in the sea" (As I stated in an earlier post, the girls I typically have sex with are more attractive than she is.)


I know many of you are the most sexually frustrated mother ****ers known to man and this whole thing is hard for you to wrap your minds around.

Steers and Queers...

That's not what he said. He's got "best friend at work" and "best friend at laundromat" and all that shit in there.
It's a thread about best friends, not good friends.

Ooohhhh you're in college. Okay so this all makes sense now. You're still too young so you don't know shit about anything.

:popcorn:

"Best friend" to me implies present tense. I've got people who I would lift a car off of, but I see them once every two years. That's different than a person I'm having lunch with every day and chatting with.

What I meant to say is that I have a best friend at any given time, but it's a person with whom I have daily contact and common activities. And being married, my wife trumps all best friends. So therefore, my best friends are probably on a more shallow level than the best friends of single people, because I go home to the wife every night.

Well, we all know that 99% of Chiefsplanet males were the star QB in high school, prom king, voted most likely to be accepted into beautifulpeople.com, and f***ed every beautiful woman at their college and the 3 closest schools... twice. They're so used to looking down to find a vagina or a mouth wrapped around their penis, they couldn't imagine how it's not an inevitable occurrence for every other person on the planet.


yeah, I need to get laid, stfu


Seriously though, my female friends are some of the smartest people I know, and without mutual interest one way or the other, we're not going to ruin the friendship because we aren't mature enough. I don't get why so many people say it's impossible.

I quote "These people were definitely my best friends at the time" at the time being the key phrase. Listen Dr. Cooper, I know in your mind best means one and only one... but us humans hang out a little more in the gray.

Sex must just have different meaning for some of you than it has for me. I've probably had sex more than 1,000 times (all with women, thank you very much); on some occasions it has been literally unbelievable and there have been some occasions I wish I could take back but it has always been better when there is that inexplicable chemistry. I'm not sure why everyone is having fits over the idea of sharing a bed and not fooling around. I've slept in the same bed with women on multiple occasions and not had sex (sometimes my choice, sometimes theirs, sometimes mutual) and the decision wasn't always based on how attractive they were.

My best friend is a chick but she's married. I think if one of you isn't hitched then someone in the relationship will always want more.

If I was single, I think it would be harder to have a female best friend. Maybe it's sheer coincidence, but when I was single my best friends were always male, and since I've been married my best friends have always been female. I almost wonder if I kept more distance as a single guy because at that time romance trumped friendship as a goal, while now I don't have that issue. Have you other married guys or gals had the same experience?

No, you're basically a freak.

Another issue in the "best friend" definition may be mobility. When I was a kid, I moved every year, so at least once a year I completely cut ties with my friends (pre-e-mail era, remember), and I went out and made a new set of friends. So for me, it would have been silly to decide whether my "best friend" was the person I hung out with last year or the person this year or the person next year. I had to define it differently.

Thanks. This is helping me reach closure and self-awareness.

and yet they sound less close to me than people I would consider "good friends" now. I mean shit at least I'm seeing my "good friends" outside of work.

Even he knew he was being loose with the definition of best friend which is why he went on to explain his own definition. I was just making a backhanded comment about it.

But I guess now he wants to take his caveats back though.. judging by these responses.