Time to MAN-UP!
 

TMI. I have a GF so she... uh, yeah... takes care of me.

Currently single, no gf... just like shaving with guys, everyday.

hog farmer blast in 3...2...1
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I'm married, which means these days I jerk it more than when I was 15.

Why would anyone want to know these kinds of things?

Donger dared Red to start this thread.

That poll is inadequate.

ROFLROFL:shake: bad visual.

I just caught a rerun of According To Jim, where Jim admits he does not like birthday parties because when he was 13, he thought everyone forgot his birthday. So, when he got home from school he sat down with his mom's bra catalogue and started to "unwrap" his own present.

Only, just at that moment, everyone jumped out and yelled surprise. Then, as if that was not bad enough, he admits that he could not stop.

Of course, being a sitcom, the baby monitor was on, and everyone downstairs heard the whole thing. They all come upstairs to tell him it is ok, that he was only 13.

The best line was delivered by his brother-in-law, Andy. Andy said "It's no big deal, Jim. Everyone does it. Some of us even use it as a sleep aid."

i noticed that after the fact...yuck!
sec

ROFLROFLROFL


Er, uh, I don't know why I'm laughing at that. Just being polite, I guess.

It takes a gay man to ask how often...

I did?

It assumes that one masturbates daily or not at all.

No, No, I just want to be certain 7X per day is in the norm, based on the census. :(

My wife asked me recently what I thought of/fantasized about while masturbating.

I answered: "Your sister."

That is apparently not the correct answer.

Sorry, you have to fear or hate to be a phobe. Or wear pink socks.

I'm a garden variety azzhole. Doesn't qualify when you hate everyone.:evil:

depends on how many times your mom drops by to visit

If you actually had any balls, you would have asked if folks go dry or lubed.

:eek::shake:ROFL:grr::mad::rolleyes::clap::cuss:

I dare simply red to log on to his premium WPI account and post this same topic over there.

Donger lubes with big oil.

Been there, Brother. I could have told you that was the wrong answer. Now, the next time you and her sister are alone in the same room, your wife will be thinking you are doing things you should not be doing.

you may want to include options for peanut butter or jelly...for the athan twins...

also, for those who voted 6x or more a day....your mom listens to your abuse.

Ha! Ain't that the truth! :)

Seriously.

I'm not saying I don't.

I just don't know why other men wanna know how much or how many times a day people tug on the ol' purple headed yogurt slinger.

You want to be a real man and show everyone.....Make it a public poll.

ROFL

Maybe Simply Red is trying to judge whether or not his masturbatory frequency is in line with other folks?

Or, perhaps this thread is providing him with jerk off material.

Got a girl. Once a day. Dry. FAP.

It's the sound that is produced when you masturbate furiously while lubricated.

I don't believe you.

Anyway, here's a good question (and one that all women want to know): How long, on average, do your masturbatory sessions last? Also, how long was the longest session? The shortest?

I'd have to say average is about four minutes.

Longest is about 20 minutes.

Shortest is under one minute.

You grew up in Ohio?

ROFL

http://i26.tinypic.com/2dbw4zl.jpg

SHIT YOU GOTTA MAN UP SON ****IN MAN UP MOTHER****ER ****IN LIKE GODDAMN SON ****IN MAN UP

I mean http://i28.tinypic.com/2a9dt9v.gif.

http://i27.tinypic.com/16jqix.jpg

Dude, if you're letting your girlfriend handle THAT for you, ****, I don't even know. My wife tried that shit once and I told her, either put it in your mouth, or just let the professional handle that.

I'm surprised that i get anything done at all, i'm guessing Scott Jr. takes about 160 vicious pummelings a day.

One time, i swear, it screamed at me to 'PLEASE STOP!'.

:clap::D:D:DROFL

Uncle Mort used to pound the Salami 3 or 4 times a day.

do you count the time it takes to get hard, or just pure stroke time?

what about clean up?

From erection to ejaculation.

WTF that supposed to mean?

This is funny yet sad because it's true for alot of men,I can't say how fortunate I am that even after 22 years my mrs enjoys having sex as much as she did when were dating,in fact it's gotten to the point where's she's surpassed me in that area and I never thought that was possible.

That's not to say I still don't venture to porn hub now and then for a little date with rosy palm and her 5 sisters :D

thats my answer as well

I know, she told me while we shared a cigarette.

All the time, in fact I just did.
the thought of voting in this poll made me horney...

Is it not clear?

With you?

No.

ROFL