I wanted you to know that I wasn't making shit up. I may have taken a little creative license, but I stayed more faithful in this retelling than Ben Affleck did with Argo.

Oooooohhhhhhh..... I think I get it now!!!!

The HOC sucks. There's way too much trash in there. It needs to be thinned out.

That's a pretty extensive study guide.

All the 10,000+ post posters and infamous ones like BlackBob should have like, bios or something.

LMAO

That was a passion filled post and Phil still can't get over it. You'd think since he's so mature a degenerate like me couldn't get to the legendary kPhobia on such a deep level...but everyone has their strengths and weaknesses =)

P.S. I love you Phil. Let's have a beer, or twelve, sometime. I'll keep my hands to myself.

I really haven't given it much thought, honestly. That sort of thing really doesn't concern me.

The best part of CP (and what keeps posters coming back no matter how many times they swear this place off) is the storyline.

There really is a storyline, and the posters become part of it. Hootie getting banned, dane leaving "forever", hamas going on his exile, etc. and returning was like Bobby returning to Dallas. You can't reconcile it with the events that took place while he was gone...but it's better when they're part of the show, so you just accept it and enjoy the ride.

Good luck with that. I know I'd need it if I were in that situation. Phil's posts seem to reflect a man who is beaming with paralyzing sex appeal.

Hamas still refuses to acknowledge John Matrix.

He stopped denying it, at least. Now, he just ignores any references to it.

The dog shit thread was spectacular.

Yet you always venture to the popularity contest-esque (and/or relevant threads) and make sure to put in your 2 cents. Emphasis on "2 cents."

You confuse me sometimes, Mr. Donger.

I don't see why you are confused.

I just realized why I like Rico so much. He's the well-intentioned but naiive guy who walks into the cocktail party and immediately (but completely accidentally) acknowledges the 800 pound gorilla in the room.

The greatest thing I can imagine would be to find out that he's actually a mult that Clay uses to stir shit up.

Clay's pretty good at that sort of thing, but he's not THAT good.

Hootie and (now) Saul Good are working on that in this thread.

I've kind of noticed that.

There is that "legendary" Gaz guy.

My first impression of Gaz when I first started venturing to these boards and would always see his name as an option in polls was that he was some sort of dude who thought he could do anything or perform better than anyone at anything, even the athletes. For example, if there were a poll question that asked for you to select who you think is the best QB in the league, it would conclude with the "Gaz" option. I just figured the dude was someone who would say things on here, like he could perform better than all NFL QB's or whatever.

Of course when I'd ask, "who is Gaz?" I'd get an array of responses, such as STFU n00b; SHUT THE **** UP n00b; **** off, n00b!!!; etc.

Then one time someone actually responded cordially to the question and posted a link with some vintage Gaz shit and I realized that my first impression of the guy seemed way off. In fact, he seemed like a sensitive type of cat that may be gay.

I think Hamas and I could've made a great duo at the bars had we ever attempted. Gay bars, of course.

Like anybody would take you at your word.

This thread really is becoming the authoritative history of CP now that you mention it.

If I were a noob and the only clue I had about Gaz was the fact that he appears in so many polls in the way he does, I think I'd come to the conclusion that he was a guy who couldn't ever make a decision.

I don't know about that. Hamas strikes me as the guy who could use his wit and charm to hook a chick but would blow it because he would wind up insulting/offending her before he could land her.

Actually, I might be thinking of me.

Yeah, I understand but you went as far as you should've from a public perspective. All the details don't need to be revealed.

Yeah...just what I figured... That man is irresistible. Plain and simply (but no homo).

Me too! Haha

Some of my buddies tell me I'm the best opener they've ever seen...and the worst closer.

I always take it too far.

They left me at a bar with this chick last weekend because I was so in to the point where she was rubbing my cock under the table...

Before I knew it I met them at our 2 AM bar, without her, and they all just started immediately cracking up.

You're so gay it frightens me.

Me writing these roasts is like Larry Flint publishing Playboy. My natural instinct is to get hard core, but the medium I'm working in requires me to leave a little bit to the imagination.

It's still fresher than a mother****er!

Holy schnikies (sp?) I have actually heard that from 1 person. My best friend, actually. For years he has either laughed at, cringed at and even became really pissed at me once or twice for this sort of thing. He consistently says to me, "jeez Swaff, you seriously have no freaking filter, ever, anywhere." I always argue/disagree with him about it...maybe my self-awareness is off a bit.

I have been suspected of a mult 4 times on here. I have created a mult one time in my entire life. It wasn't on this board. Actually 2 times. I forgot that I also created this mult on the imdb.com boards named, "The Sexual Tyrannosaurus Rex" and used it to **** with a bunch of cyber tough-guy Martin Scorcese fans on the Casino, Goodfellas and Joe Peschi boards.

Anyways. I've been suspected of being a mult, but unfortunately, am not one.

It's like I told Busta...I bang in the east and I bang in the west and I came to give you more and I will never give you less.

I, for one, enjoy it when you "get down," verbally.

Speaking of mults, I think this "BigCatDaddy" is a mult of someone's. Yesterday, when all that "reloading" and "rep-talk" shit was going on, I had someone, "reload" on me and then a few seconds later, I received rep from this "BigCatDaddy" with a little excerpt that read, "your gay, but I need more rep power." "That's weird," I thought. I didn't realize that "BigCatDaddy" had something up his ass about me or at the least thought that I literally liked having things up my ass.

Interestingly enough though, later on yesterday, I noticed someone (a different user) post something in a rant that read, "that's why you all received the rep from me, 'you are gay, but I need more rep power,'" or something along those lines.

Speaking of mults, I think this "BigCatDaddy" is a mult of someone's. Yesterday, when all that "reloading" and "rep-talk" shit was going on, I had someone, "reload" on me and then a few seconds later, I received rep from this "BigCatDaddy" with a little excerpt that read, "your gay, but I need more rep power." "That's weird," I thought. I didn't realize that "BigCatDaddy" had something up his ass about me or at the least thought that I literally liked having things up my ass.

Interestingly enough though, later on yesterday, I noticed someone (a different user) post something in a rant that read, "that's why you all received the rep from me, 'you are gay, but I need more rep power,'" or something along those lines.

I don't think he's a mult. He's just an idiot. You get rep by receiving it, not giving it.

Speaking of mults, I think this "BigCatDaddy" is a mult of someone's. Yesterday, when all that "reloading" and "rep-talk" shit was going on, I had someone, "reload" on me and then a few seconds later, I received rep from this "BigCatDaddy" with a little excerpt that read, "your gay, but I need more rep power." "That's weird," I thought. I didn't realize that "BigCatDaddy" had something up his ass about me or at the least thought that I literally liked having things up my ass.

Interestingly enough though, later on yesterday, I noticed someone (a different user) post something in a rant that read, "that's why you all received the rep from me, 'you are gay, but I need more rep power,'" or something along those lines.

Good gracious I'm having some CPU issues. Posting shit and having it not come up and reposting it just to see that it did come up to begin with. Trying to edit typos immediately after posting and having it take fo-evah. Ugh.

That was fantastic.

Bravo god sir.

This.

That's the joke

I am Gaz

This thread is too big. It's screwing up the server. Time to flush it and move on to the KnowMo trial or Clay's "the return" thread...

I logged on just as Hooties post about CC's PM was deleted. Man was I pissed. Can't believe I missed the biggest backfire in CP history.

I'd like to verify that it wasn't a PM, it was a comment in an illegal infraction he issued to me, when drunk, after already being told a year earlier to not abuse the infraction system (he did this once to me before), in a thread where Kyle gave the board total immunity to discuss whatever without threat of moderation (it was the clay filter evasion ban thread)...

So the only reason he did what he did was to get a reaction...and I give the best reactions.

Yet despite all of these TRUTHS, I was banned...for around 18 months.

I'm telling you, I REALLY got to Phil one way or another.

At what?

Here's the Hootie Manifesto. It's in my email. Phobia can't TOUCH THAT!!!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...laA5QVnw4/edit

LMAO

:evil:

I made it 2 pages.

He really wrote up that thing? Jeez.

How amazingly unenthralling.

Thats all well and good, PM or not, my mistake was expecting RL info giving privately would stay private, your mistake was thinking it was cool to share. the rest is just fluff. not important to fight about. bygones be bygones lets move on.

It's hard for me to comprehend that someone would sit down and write that. If he had a shred of sanity he must have looked in a mirror afterwards and been sick about how he just spent his time.

LMAO I never saw that before. Wow.

Speaking of, someone needs to tell Simply Red that he's using his SR font with his Thig Lyfe account. TIA

I LOL'd too, unfortunately I thought it would be you but it ended up being your grandpa....

And BTW - LMAO

He could have just typed the word "me" over 50,000 times.

Would have been a great time saver.

Do you still not understand that writing a secret note on a brick and throwing it through someone's window does not obligate that person to hold your secret in confidence?

I doubt anything gay frightens you. You clinch clay's cock like it's going to be whipped away in a cyclone soon. That is not fearing the gay, that's embracing it with a 150 pound grip.

reminds me of those roided up wrestlers talking to the crowd in between the fights.
sec

LMAO

**** off, you dirty POS cop.

Ya farging douche, You're supposed to rufie her after you get to where youre going. If you do it immediately then you'll have to drag her around.

The hootie manifesto, otherwise known as "Why I'm a crying bitch?" by one Hootford Aerilius Jackoff

That's awesome. Didn't he say several times how he doesn't need this place in this very thread? At least he didn't stab himself and have Clay post the video I suppose.

That is a funny way to look at it, in a good way. but no I dont think his handling of the information was in good form. so again I say, we both were idiots, lots of posts were made, in general most the board got enjoyment out of it. so what, its over. I learned from it, but dont think frootie did.

if a random number from a white page search for wendler was too private to share on this board, then my info should've been off limits too.

You were banned around the time I created my account. About a month afterwards I think. I thought you received the ol' permaban. With that said, when I saw your avatar surfacing on here again with the name, "Captain Tasty Cheeks," I thought to myself, "holy shit! That's that Baseketball dude! I thought he was banned forever! He's really pulling one on these guys!!" I...was....incorrect.

Did Joey get the permaban? If so, what was it that did it? Was it the pictures where he acted like he was drinking Draino Plumber or something? The main thing I remember about that is that he was banned (possibly permabanned) and he posted those Draino Plumber pics and then made a video of some sort, posted by someone else where he begged to be given another chance. And then I think that San Diego Charger fan Buck dude posted a video of himself acting like Phil in a video where I believe he gave his logic as to why Joey was banned. He kept using one of Phil's common names that he refers to people as, like "bud" or "bub" or something.... Anyone remember what I am talking about?

You dug into the white pages for contact info.

Hootie posted info that you willingly shared.

I would think kcnut could even understand the stark difference here.

cool story bro.

That is pretty interesting. Sheds light on some shit.

You two, if you live to be old dudes will be like a ****ed up version of this someday:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vRcx4W8pIy...umpyOldMen.jpg

The "2 Girls 1 Cup" reference was funny... I duped my dad into watching that video, recorded it and then posted it on youtube and facebook. It really pissed him off. I'll post it, only if requested, for I don't want to come off as trying too hard to attention whore....I just think you guys may think it's funny, that's the only reason I mention it.

I didn't read that before and I made it about 2 paragraphs before I stopped this time. Hootie's reality is not true reality. Does the guy annoy me? Sure. He's a grating personality. But he doesn't respect anybody enough to take a warning or even a demand (when it reaches that point) seriously. Dude acts like he's an innocent victim when he's clearly not. Besides Joey, he's the one person we mods have wasted the most amount of time discussing, seeking solutions, and pleading with him. We cannot compel him to change his behaviors to suit our community standards through words alone. It's clear that a year away didn't even help. Hootie is right and everybody else is wrong. But it is fun watching Saul Good, Clay, and the others enable him. They're eventually going to enable him right into a permaban. It's not a question of if, but when...

SHOTS FIRED!

Phobia doesn't have the balls to ban frootie again. Patteuuuuuu is in his head.....

Just let me know what I can do to help expedite the matter.

Come on Meat Dragon! Are you a man or a mouse?

LMAO I can hear it now.

"What we need is a defined narrow rule that is clearly stated so mod abused doesn't have to happen again. Slobber slobber, gobble gobble, whine."

He nit picks like an old woman. I'm sure he is the neighbor that would have you tear your garage down if it were built on 1/2 inch of his side of the property line.

You should send him another private email so he'll repost all the private tidbits and get banned.

It would be funny.