:D

Who says it was comical? It was an accurate depiction of a night out for you. Nothing there that wasn't true at all at least one point in your life. Let's examine it shall we.

At some point have you:
a)called up a hoe on your 50th day of binge drinking
b)meet a hoe at a fruity club without having friends to back you up
c)get confronted by a brother whom you date raped his sister
d)have the chick stand up for you
e)rush home and have endless anal in the dark
f)find out at the end that your love was a man


I'm willing to bet that at least once each of these scenarios has occurred. I just pieced them altogether for one night.

you should delete before the AM

agreed

lame post

defending it is lamer

Meat peaker and his gay lover, rufie the date rapist don't like my posts.

I think I'll cry.

Your insults aren't even interesting.

Christ.

I have no problem with laughing at funny posts at my expense...you know...if they are funny

Sure do seem to get a response.

I know. That's basically one of 3 replies you generally cart out.

It's usually:

that's horrible
you're a horrible poster
or I'll laugh at my own expense if it's funny

rinse and repeat

I thought it was epic. Funniest thing on this entire trainwreck of a thread.

I enjoy how someone is still trying to coin a phrase that nobody cares about but him.

Slow it down for us. What do you mean?

Har...har...har. I admit it, though....well-deserved.

I'm chalkin' it up as a message board learning experience. As pathetic as that is. I've been an avid poster on message boards for over a decade and I don't think I've ever tripped over my own dick with such force as I did with this shit. Made some crucial mistakes that I am going to try not to make again.

It all started out with my comment, "anyone can be roasted." I don't consider that a mistake, for I still believe that. However, I screwed up that one night when I stated, "I could totally roast you." People held me to it and it led to dick-trippage. You can't roast someone you know nearly nothing about and have to stoop to the level of total douche-canoe in digging for the only interaction you can remember seeing the person butt-hurt in. (I don't care what you say, Hootie, as dumb as everything was...I feel I crossed a line and owe you an apology for that shit. So FWIW, I am sorry).

Add that shit with me bringing jokes that are "inside" that only people I grew up with would get, not to mention my total abortion of an approach to it, which basically was over-elaborating on shit and making it come off as an autobiography/failed best man's speech about someone I don't know. I should have stuck to the template Hootie and Saul Good used. More concise, pros, cons, future outlook, etc.

A lot of the over-elabortation was adderall-insomnia induced (I'm prescribed and took it that day, shut up), so that's another thing I am going to refrain from doing in the future... which is posting on here when I have any of that shit in my system.

It was most definitely the stupidest I have ever felt after posting on a message board...and that's saying a lot. If that shit ever crosses my mind, I literally, briefly shudder. So stupid.

You shouldn't let a guy with an arsenal of 3 comebacks get in your head. You're the lizard king! Fight, mother****er, fight.

Haha, nah...he didn't get in my head. It was noticeably perceived as a castration by everyone way before he made that comment. I got in my own head. Did it to myself by saying I could roast someone I don't know and followed through by taking a God-awful approach to doing it.

tee hee, unfunny to the point of funny

words are dumb

What do you suggest, an entire roast illustrated in MS Paint? Not likely...

It seems that almost every roast contains some sort of "being fat" reference. Is every person on this board actually fat? Or is that just an easy way to rag on someone?

Fat ass.

I'm trying to stay somewhat true to the theme hootie had going.

Like you're one to talk, you fat bitch...

I'm not fat. I'm husky.

What was your favorite line? Anything that made you think to yourself, "I'm totally using that"?

I've tried the "try not making it a book" route before, TimBoner. It doesn't work...it still eventually ends up becoming a book. I am incapable, homeslice.

not trying to be a dick

but I'd hate to see the quality of poster on your IowaWrestlingGays.com board where they would consider you to be 'legendary'.

No. I try not to borrow other people's lines. Not that I'm 100% original. I just try not to steal other bits.

That J Diddy "roast" was awful. Just not funny.

They do make a cute couple.

http://veryaware.com/wp-content/uplo...-the-world.jpg

Okay...just your favorite line, then.

A little too edgy?

Perhaps, but you have to admit he nailed the dialogue. Hootie uses terms like "ho", "playa", and "fo schizzle" all the time, so it actually took me reading it a couple of times before I realized that it was a parody rather than an actual hootie post.


The "NOT" joke was a nice touch, btw. J...did you come up with that by yourself, or did you see that somewhere?

I thought he was talking about your roast of J Diddy.

Yeah, that NOT was like the plot twist at the end of Usual Suspects. My jaw dropped.

You don't have to try to be a dick, so don't over-exert yourself.

Haha, considering the "legendary" reference, it appears you did read that thing before I edited (thought I took that shit out). I wondered about that.

IowaWrestlingGays.com....LMAO, the first jab you ever took at me a year and a half ago that I got all butt-hurt about.

I'm not going to lie to you or myself for that matter. The quality of posters on the wrestling site is much lower than the ones here. A lot of typos. A lot of hill-rods. A lot of numb-skulls.

Not to mention my wrestling knowledge in terms of technique/statistics is much better than my football/Chiefs knowledge. My predictions always end up unraveling the way I predict. I'm also able to accurately and eloquently chronicle matches, distant or recent past.

I have a lot to learn about Chiefs football if I ever want to be a quality poster here. IMO, there isn't a better place to learn than here...and at this point, my football takes on here are minimal until I truly have confidence in what I'm saying.

Not to mention, I have a voice on there. Been posting for 13 years. People know me, get me, perceive me correctly because they've known me for so long...not unlike you (and others) having your own voice here.

Why did you suddenly decide to be so nice to jdiddy? That one really lacked teeth.

tl;dr



LMAO Seriously, you have a habit of making your posts way longer than they need to be.

this thread is worth reading again. At least the top, where, you know, the roasts are.

:rolleyes: I know, I know....and I started the thing out by telling Hootie that he doesn't have to try to be a dick, so he shouldn't over-exert himself.

Oh the hypocrisy. :)

You're good in my book...a little out there to be sure, but you bring energy to the board. It can get pretty stale around here sometimes, and the board has a tendency to turn into an echo chamber. Anything that helps get us out of a rut is a good thing.

Look at the threads on here since the draft. This thread and Royals threads have carried the board.

I could ban someone if you think it would help.

Nobody comes to mind. lol

Who would cause the biggest storm if banned for no reason and then allowed to come back?

Interesting question...I'm not sure it's ever happened, so it's hard to say

hint: think about hootie

Kyle randomly banned KC native a few months ago. There are still a couple of leftover puddles of estrogen that haven't completely dried.

LMAO

Just an objective bystander (yeah right) however this deserves mention in every thread from here on out.

NOT!!!

I totally rufied Clay's little brother when he was at work. You can't keep a playah like me down! Fo Schizzle.

Until you posted your opinion, I didn't know that you existed, however let me clear some things up.

It was not a roast, merely a parody of one of Hootie's night out stories, except I threw truth into the mix.

I appreciate your comments and do hope you'll come back again.

Drawing a blank...

I don't think anyone would be too pissed if it was an individual ****ing with them. I've had my casino cash stolen, banned for no reason, banned from threads, name changed etc. If you don't have a thick skin, can take a trimming you won't last in this place. exp.... no negative rep from all this roasting.

But, that said, I'm against Mods banning people for no reason unless there are friends with said banee.:rolleyes:

Lol

Since banning me would do nothing I'd suggest banning KC nut, before he has a chance to respond to his roast. Nobody will enjoy trying to read that

LMAO

I think banning Hootie would be ****ing epic myself. His vagina would explode due to a perceived injustice.

I would watch it while eating popcorn and drinking a fine chianti.

I'm not concerned about you knowing about me or my status on this board or thread.

Just wanted to let you know you're awful at parodies. Really, really unfunny.

Feel free to not respond to this since you don't know who I am and don't care about my opinion or whatever. But you aren't funny.

you don't remember the whole big thing about hootie being banned?

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=255055

The Hootie Manifesto?

Or, "I shall now cry like a little girl for all the world to see"?

Nah, it was almost identical to hooties night out stories. BTW, you can't yell at a person across the room and expect him not to respond.

Now I'm trying to determine what is causing you to say mean things to me.

BTW, the amount of reps received due to that awful parody tell a different tale.

Finally we find a common ground.

I would be ****ing EMBARRASED to write such a piece of self-pitying shit, and then have someone post it for me.

I think Clay wrote it for him.

Nothing is causing me to be "mean". rico tried to be funny earlier on in this thread with a "roast/parody/wtf ever" and failed spectacularly and now you've done the same.

Saul is correct in that there are a ton of posters in this thread bitching about how unfunny these roasts are; but most are absolutely terrible at attempting to do so themselves.

Hootie was good at it. Saul is doing a spectacular job so far. I don't actually believe he means the shit he says, but he's delivering crisp, precise barbs akin to what you'd see if you watched a roast on Comedy Central. That's what makes it humorous.

Not long, meandering tripe that bores readers within two sentences. I'm glad some people find your parody hilarious. Good for them. I don't. You aren't funny and your attempt wasn't. That's called an opinion. You don't have to agree with it or like it. It's my opinion.

The funniest thing on the internet:


Mr. Flopnuts 12-22-2012 05:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pestilence (Post 9232843)
[QUOTE/Pestilence]Hootie has actually been pretty toned down since he's been back. I gotta give him credit.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE/flopnuts]He's getting older. I think he's growing up. I give him credit as well.[/QUOTE]

I've decided that I don't like you and therefore shall ignore you.
Die in an AIDS fire and slither back into anonymity.

What the **** are you talking about? I laughed about that because he got all huffy puffy in a bar smoking thread and then he deleted my posts and banned me for 3 days. I haven't said a word to him about it aside from making fun of him in the thread where he banned me.

Pointing out again that your delusional fatass is wrong and can't stop thinking about me.

No. Please. Don't.

If by "making fun of him" you mean "squealing like a little girl" yeah, you made lots of fun of him. LMAO

Hey you remember a long time ago when I said I didn't like you, you should die in an aids fire and slither back into anonymity?


I was just kidding.

http://www.cardandcaboodle.com.au/me...mg_0004_53.jpg

I think you are undervaluing the art of little girl squealing.

Probably because you are fat, bald and have a lot of guns.

You are a dumb mother****er. Link up what you think was me squealing.

All of my night out stories were amazingly well told and spectacularly engaging...

Your parody of those was horrendous. Horrendous. There is no other word for it. It wasn't even remotely humorous at any point.

I'm not saying this because it poked fun at me...I'm saying this because you tried being funny, thought THAT was funny....posted it thinking you'd get laughs...

...but it was horrendous. I can't believe you didn't delete it.

lol, my rep shit tells a different tale.

However I see you've came with one of the famous 3 hootie comebacks.

1. Learn to quote.

2. That was over 6 months ago....when all Hootie did was talk football. None of this shit had happened yet.

Lol, it is all good. I made my point and wasn't trying to poke at you, actually poking at flopnuts. Apologize for bringing you into it.

Show me who repped you over that awful post and I'll give you 5 positive reps. I need a screen cap.

Not my fault I'm Mr. Excitement

The fact that you still think that post was funny has me in total bewilderment.

How's the hangover today? Any bruises on your noggin from Clays adams apple?

Hey, here's an idea that might help you. You could say something about my heart and that I'm going to die sooner than you but we both know it isn't true.

Some girls pa is going to blast you with a shotgun for date raping his 14 year old daughter. Sooner rather than later.

I try not to get caught up in that kind of shit. I like to think that I'm above it.

Don't do it yet. Let us guess first...just tell us how many posters it was.