We're going to get you out of there and to a much kinder and gentler place. Maybe some place near Pittsburgh.

Try saying "Juana Woodruff" quickly three times.

Male name: SCOTTIE
Female name: JUANA
Surname: WOODRUFF
Location: Washington County, Pennsylvania
Male occupation: Surgical Technologists
Annual Salary: $52,300
Female occupation: Chemical Technicians
Annual Salary: $55,700
Your Main Hobby: Archery
Your Spouse's Main Hobby: Watching movies

You will become a car stereo installer outside Dayton, and your wife will be the person who changes the light bulbs atop radio antennas. That's a fun life.

However, you two should really find more productive hobbies.

Male name: SAUL
Female name: ELNORA
Surname: CLINKSCALES
Location: Clark County, Ohio
Male occupation: Electronic Equipment Installers and Repairers, Motor Vehicles
Annual Salary: $23,700
Female occupation: Radio, Cellular, and Tower Equipment Installers and Repairers
Annual Salary: $39,000
Your Main Hobby: Watching television
Your Spouse's Main Hobby: Driving

24K a year and "coloring". FML. If I see a murder, I ain't snitchin now.

I'd like a new life.....

Your wife is a gambling football fan. She seems fun. I'm less interested in seeing your large cockroach collection.

Male name: VITO
Female name: JANET
Surname: WINES
Location: Lewis County, West Virginia
Male occupation: Multimedia Artists and Animators
Annual Salary: $50,300
Female occupation: Gaming Dealers
Annual Salary: $19,000
Your Main Hobby: Insect collecting
Your Spouse's Main Hobby: American football

I rooted some major ruskie DoS servers. I got the goods but now they are looking at puttin me 6 feet under.

You'd better hope they don't find you at your new job or you'll become part of some building foundation. But you seem safe with this low-key lifestyle.

Male name: RICARDO
Female name: RUBY
Surname: ROUTH
Location: Greensville County, Virginia
Male occupation: Cement Masons and Concrete Finishers
Annual Salary: $24,900
Female occupation: Couriers and Messengers
Annual Salary: $28,800
Your Main Hobby: Antiquing
Your Spouse's Main Hobby: Kitesurfing

Hit me...I released Trump's tax records to the DNC

We're going to have to send you deep into hiding to a place where the local population will protect you devoutly. That will be, of course, the Bay Area where you will raise your own honey and have a gay-friendly name.

Male name: PETER
Female name: CELIA
Surname: TROTT
Location: Contra Costa County, California
Male occupation: Real Estate Sales Agents
Annual Salary: $34,600
Female occupation: First-Line Supervisors of Retail Sales Workers
Annual Salary: $24,700
Your Main Hobby: Beekeeping
Your Spouse's Main Hobby: Polo

My wife's family is racist and I saw her brother put ricin in her grand fathers coffee.. get me the hell out

im wondering how you collect elements..is that like as in hydrogen, helium etc...?? lol

If they're intolerant, we'll taunt them by giving you the name Miguel and making you a fashion designer. It'll be a blind spot for them when they look for you.

Male name: MIGUEL
Female name: HESTER
Surname: ROURKE
Location: Iberia Parish, Louisiana
Male occupation: Fashion Designers
Annual Salary: $36,000
Female occupation: Musical Instrument Repairers and Tuners
Annual Salary: $52,600
Your Main Hobby: Woodworking
Your Spouse's Main Hobby: Kite flying

I blew the whistle on a hospital that committed medicare fraud. I dont want to go into hiding. I think its overkill

The health care system is the most dangerous cabal of them all. We need to get you out of there, stat! And perhaps you can make a documentary about it.


Male name: BOOKER
Female name: LADONNA
Surname: PUTMAN
Location: Watonwan County, Minnesota
Male occupation: Producers and Directors
Annual Salary: $74,400
Female occupation: Web Developers
Annual Salary: $96,600
Your Main Hobby: Racquetball
Your Spouse's Main Hobby: Whittling

I learn how not to be seen. So the capo don'tkill me.