If anything, I'd think that deal would encourage CP unity. Judas freaking Priest.

I take it this list isn't getting finished.

Hootie is involved. That guy can't even properly contract herpes.

I'm just trying to be more like you, Phil.

LMAO

I was a n00b when you left for WPI to turn it into ChiefsPlanet. However, I looked up to the internet legend that was kPhobia.

I was all like, "this guy is going to turn that place around! He's an absolute LEGEND."

I read that first article where you had your press pass and everything! I knew you'd get it done.

I was absolutely crushed when it didn't work out for you. I figured...if an internet legend like kPhobia can fail like that...there is no way I can ever succeed at anything.

And I've lived true to that through this day.

You're an inspiration to me Phil.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showt...70#post5245670

man I pwned that thread saying the Colts would win 0 games with Jim Sorgi at the helm...

New England wins 11 freaking games with Matt freaking Cassel and end the game on like a 6 game winning streak.

Indy almost goes winless without Peyton.

Yeah.

I haven't kept up with this thread, and there are way too many pages to wade through, so can someone tell me why there have been no new names in 4 days?

Because Hootie can't get herpes

Hootie is trying to be like Phil for a week.

Hootie's a slacker who's only life skills are invested in food service. If asked to accomplish any real tasks requiring brain power or creativity, he must take adderall to get anything done. This thread, it seems, is not worth the pills.

You're a fool. I'm not a legend. Don't want to be. Never tried to be. But there's absolutely NO WAY I failed at WPI. I multiplied their web traffic by a power of 1000. I left of my own accord while being asked to stay when my contract was up. I served 365 days as contracted despite them not living up to their end of the deal, I kept my word. After 365 days, I refused to work with Nick Athan. That's not failing. If Nick were shown the door and I stayed, WPI would be a top 3 NFL offering on Scout right now. I left CP because Scout had resources and leverage - tools I wanted to employ to build a brand. CP will never have those things. That entire deal was unfortunate but I learned a lot from it and I'm a better man for it. You, OTOH, don't have any desire to learn what happened. You seem to think that referencing WPI or fatchatter is your little ace-in-the-hole with me. You're mistaken. I'm proud of what I did there. It was amazing.

Adderall....

Well, nevemind.

I didn't mean to rile you up.

I'm sorry.

You truly do inspire me though.

Out of curiosity, I went and checked out that WPI board/scout stuff. I had only been there like once before, reading a Stanzi thread. LMAO Those people can't have a topic without CP being referenced.

That Frankie guy is either stirring the pot or talking smack about CP on the "For those who SOOOOOO wanted Geno Smith" (or something along those lines) thread.

Did I come off as "riled up"?

Yeah it was the worst time to be on this board ever. Everything that Pioli did no matter how stupid was thrown back in your face with trust Pioli. Everything turned into a major fight. Didn't help that the Patriot trolls are the worst idiots in the world. I'm pretty thick skined person but I took a break from the board from after the draft until the regular season started just to remain half way sain.

Ready for 2.0?

Pretty much this, 60 million before he took the field was like WUT?????

So, pretty similar to this list, except the tired/unfunny stuff is pretty much straight out of this thread? Weird.

There has been some good stuff in this thread. It's just been overshadowed by all of the shit.

Most people aren't funny. Even fewer are genuinely clever and original.

There isn't any point in reading 90% of the posts on this board, because you already know what they're going to say.

Willis McGahee released? Let me guess: "Bring him in for a look/show the youngsters the ropes" jokes...never gets old.

Sign some nobody? "Print them!...To the dingy! hyuk hyuk."


It's like the Johnny Dare show. You could have been in a coma for a decade, and when you came back, nothing would seem different.

Ha, I thought the same thing last time I listened to a few minutes of that show. Did I just stumble into 1998? :hmmm:

It's a lot like the list... whether the frazod fat jokes (among all of the jokes you mentioned) are TiC, overkill for the sake of overkill, whatever, they really are just unfunny, tired, and boring. One of them (in billay's, iirc) would have been out-of-no-where funny had it not already been run into the ground for 3 weeks.

Phobia nailed it about 5300 posts ago...

Why are you even here, bearcat?

Someone said there would be free pizza and beer.

Apparently it's only supposed to be for the kiddies.

I came for the Gino's and Goose Island stout, and found out it was Chuck E Cheese and Nat Light.

Green was a good qb.
Posted via Mobile Device

I agree.

Out of curiosity (you seem to be at least a student/fan/critic of comedy), who are your favorite stand-up comedians, humor writers, etc.? You strike me as a Bill Hicks type of guy. Just a hunch. I could be way off though.

LMAO

I defended it. If he would have played well it would have been a steal...

He didn't and it wasn't
Posted via Mobile Device

I agree.

I admit, I am not the connoisseur of football compared to most of you. I'm trying to sit back and try to learn from you guys. I'm very good at talking football with the people I socialize with in my area, but that's not saying much because if their IQ's were based on their football intelligence, the average IQ would run around the 25-30 range. However, one thing I have total and complete confidence in, is despite Trent Green's possessing a cunning resemblance to Joey in terms of physical appearance, he is a better QB than Alex Smith. The dude's ability to sling it is underrated, imo. Alex Smith is a Nancy-pantsed, pigskin-shot-putting prag.

Yes, I know...a highlight video. All highlight videos paint the player in a positive light. Yada, yada, yada, yabba-dabba-doo. Trent Green is able to make plays/throws that Alex Smith's disgustingly limited ass could only dream of successfully executing.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/G42tL7D509s" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

:crybaby::crybaby::crybaby:

if that defense could have just stopped someone once...just once....

Those highlights make Samie Parker look good.

http://www.totalprosports.com/wp-con...rying-gifs.gif

I know, loochy. I know. I'm crying with you.

LMAO Samie Parker..... What in the world is it that he did one game that was humiliating and frustrating, yet simultaneously kind of funny. Didn't he like, block someone and start celebrating while the play was still being executed and missed a key block due to celebrating? I can't pinpoint it, but that dude was a trip.

Bearcat makes me laugh. I'll leave it at that.

It's possible. He celebrated every play he made, no matter how insignificant. Ya know wut I mean?

Yeah... I know what you mean. Dude was a trip.

Samie used to have two m's in his name.

But he dropped one.






that never gets old :)

http://i41.tinypic.com/2hxwrde.jpg

Also, I screwed up his saying. It was "knowwutI'msayin?" :facepalm:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! YES!!!!!! That is an AWESOME find. Good gosh, I never thought I'd ever see that again in my entire life. I was SO freaking pissed when that happened, yet at the same time, I had a difficult time fighting the urge to smile because of how ridiculous he is.

I'm pretty big into Rita Rudner, Elaine Boozler, and Rosie O'Donnell back when she was on the circuit. I don't know why, but I've just never felt that men were very funny as stand-up comedians.

Samie was a Duck. Nuff said. ;)

I think Clay made the clip.

That's pretty interesting.

I think women get the shaft when it comes to comedy, honestly. There are some funny, funny women who will never be acknowledged for being funny because they are women.

I'll have to check those names out. The first thing I knew Rosie from was "A League of Their Own." Had no idea she has a stand-up background. Man...her battles with Trump...and Tom Selleck.....

Probably the best stand up special of the past 10 years was Tig Notaro's Live from last year.

Probably the best piece of spoken word I've heard in my young lifetime.

The Joker stares with quizzical uncertainty.

Paula Poundstone, too. Can't believe I left her off the list. Her bit about Pop Tarts still leaves me in stitches. I mean, we've all been there, right?

I like that they work clean. To me, there's no place for vulgarity in comedy. If you can't make someone laugh without going blue, maybe humor just isn't your thing.

Never heard of it, but I'll check it out. I love watching my Carlin, Chappelle, Murphy, Rock, Gaffigan, Ellen (that standup she released around 2004-2005 was hilarious) Hart, Hicks, Pryor (meh), D Carvey, etc. But I've watched and re-watched them so many times. I need something I haven't seen before...and it's difficult finding new, good shit these days.

I'm pretty certain.

I bet you DVR'd every episode of Ellen, didn't you?

Did you catch the Sinbad Neon Ski-veralls extrazaganza?

Kinda confused....what is your definition of clean? I may have you confused with someone else (maybe Saulbadguy), but aren't you able to dish out quite a bit of your own vulgar humor?

I keep thinking that if she can make it in Vegas I can...

That's because he's a lousy unfunny person.

He aspires to better, and Rita, Paula and Rosie are invaluable in maintaining those aspirations, but at present he's a dirty scummy piece of shit.

Speaking of her. I never watch her talk show. Not my thing. But she had this TV sitcom back in the 90's that used to have me rolling laughing. There was this episode where she had to go back to the DMV to get her driver's license over and over and over and over again because every time they would snap her picture for it, she would have this crazy-pissed expression on her face because the person taking the photo annoyed her due to taking too long or whatever the reason. It was hilarious. I remember uncontrollably laughing my ass off while watching that episode.

I didn't hate the trade, agreed numbers were too high but still wanted to draft Stafford. But my football takes are considered reeruned.

This would have been funny had you said feces instead of shit. As it stands, your post is on E in the funny meter.

Louis CK. that is all.

Isn't he(or she) a consistently active participant in the tragedy puns?

I think improv is getting the upper hand on stand-up. Folks who want to be funny are getting tired of being loners lounging around the Ramada in Cleveland half the year.

And now that the likes of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are getting deals instead of Jerry Seinfeld or Ray Romano, why not settle in LA or Chicago and enfold yourself into an improv troupe of reliable friends.

So, I gather Hootie stopped with the list?

At least it's puns, puns are an inherently superior form of humor, even if tragedy puns are an inherently inferior form of pun.

Vulgarity is about half the guys routines summed up. I can agree with you to a degree. Look at classic guys like Pryor, they all cussed a lot, etc.

Think I quoted the wrong message.

What list? I thought this was the 10pm thread. The decor is eerily similar....

I don't think cops should have the right to compare threads. It's profiling.

Totally forgot about him. I agree.

Meh, it's nothing that hasn't been said 100 times in this thread as far as the HoC nominations, etc; and there's no attempt at making any of it seem remotely serious at all. I had just hoped for more entertainment out of it. No biggie, even the most hilarious people I know aren't always hilarious. Not that there was a hilarity guarantee or promise of decent beer.

I remember thinking that show was pretty funny until Ellen came out of the closet. I'm not offended by gays at all, but I really thought her show changed for the worse after that.

Judges men by their threads...comes to the conclusion that they all look alike...

I don't care for the direction this is headed.

But it's the legal kinda profiling....

Can honestly say I've never watched her show, however, I have seen her standup and it was pretty funny. Of course I was like 13 too.

Was your impression that humor was my intent?

I'd assume so...

Oh goodie, are we going to be entertained by a baby lee/ rausch tiff?

this thread sucks now. that is all.

No. No, it was not. My post was purely boredom, drenching with sarcasm, with a small (albeit very small) twist of wit.

I lost interest. This started being annoying and it was literally the last thing I wanted to do all day.

It's not my fault that I'm the only person on this site that apparently can come up with a somewhat funny roast. Everyone had a ****ing week and ENDLESS material PROVIDED by yours truly to 'roast' me and no one dared to do it...other than Billay...and let's just say...at least he tried.

It's not my job on ChiefsPlanet to be the 'humorous' guy. Or the 'controversial' guy.

Sometimes I'll take 10 hours in a week and drive a thread like this...and then the next week I'll realize how much ****ing time I'm wasting every day and lose interest.

I don't get paid for this, so therefore I'm pretty much lol'ing at all of this 'disappointment' by everyone because I didn't finish a list in a thread I didn't even create...

Here I'll throw you my top 10 real quick:

1) Rain Man
2) GoChiefs
3) 'Hamas' Jenkins
4) gblowfish
5) Milkman
6) tk13
7) FAX
8) DJ's Left Nut
9) DaneMcCloud
10) SNR

and that was just off the top of my head. Rain Man is the ultimate poster. GoChiefs adds more to this board than anyone but he's a terrible troll and an awful human being. 'Hamas' is the wittiest guy I've ever encountered on a message board. Gblowfish is the ULTIMATE KC fan and his '10 things about today's game' is the greatest thread on this site but I wish he'd only do it for home games. Milkman is purely here to talk about football and I respect that, even though John ****ing Mackey or whatever his name is isn't better than Tony ****ing Gonzalez. Tk13 is the voice of reason but sometimes his passive aggressiveness is ****ing gay. He's a true fan who pretends he isn't a true fan which is fine. FAX would be 1a if he'd post more...but I can't discount his amazing posting style. Truly spectacular. Even though he took my term of 'drafturbator', turned it into 'draftabulator', and now is more synonymous with the word than I am. DJ's Left Nut is a Cardinals fan, a Chiefs fan and a Lakers fan. I think all Lakers fans are just ****ing bundle of stickss. 'Oh I cheered for this guy in college and he went to play for the Lakers so now I'm a Lakers fan!!!' Oh STFU. But yeah, he's a great sports poster so he is top 10 worthy. Dane would be higher if he'd stay away from junior high schools and post more. He's my favorite bi-polar person ever. However, we don't care about the fact you pay $20K per year tuition for kindergarten. We get it dude. We get it. None of us are impressed other than billay. And SNR made being a rapist cool on this board so he has to be top 10.