Can you ever communicate without giant blocks of text ?

Bring Jason Dunn out of retirement? [/sarcasm]

I only came here for the comments, and CP did NOT disappoint.

We are going to draft his replacement

Why are you being so racist?

Anyone seen Mikhael Ricks' momma posting around here lately?

Q: Did he pull his dick out during the skit?
A: Nope, just before and after.

I kid.

But he risked his reputation and his livelihood for pulling his cock out in front of people, right?

You don't seem to realize that it's at the officer's discretion whether he even writes a ticket, or asks someone to dump their stash on the side of the road.

Cops don't care about weed ANYWHERE.

In 10 years of playing music all over the midwest, I didn't worry much. I've had officer contact in so many ways, in so many situations...officers have dumped/had me dump my stash at the Lake, Independence, and Columbia. 9 times out of 10, I'm not even going to get a citation.

Got pulled over on 65 Hwy between Sedalia and Warsaw. State Trooper lit me up, I was speeding, it reeked of weed...he hopped out and I thought I was going to jail.

Because I was going 87 in a 65mph zone, first of all...

THEN when he searched the vehicle, I was going to be toast. Nothing I could do but comply, be transparent, and tell the truth :

Q : "Do you have ANY idea how fast you were going?"
A : "No, Officer. My grandmother died yesterday - I have to get back to Columbia, get my suit to the dry cleaner, go to work, pick up my suit, get back down here and get my family to Lebanon for the funeral on Thursday, and then go pick my daughter up at the airport in St Louis on Friday. I'm thinking about everything BUT my driving, Sir."

Q : "May I see your license and registration."
A : "Certainly."

Officer comes back :

Q : "How come you don't have a seat belt on?"
A : "I cut it when I pulled over, after you lit me up, Sir."

Q : "Ok. Put your seat belt back on, and SLOW DOWN. Here's your license and registration back. I'm sorry about your grandmother."

In Lafayette CO they tried to pull that probation BS on me - I literally laughed at my attorney and told him :

"Look, I'm in my 30s, I live in Columbia, it's decriminalized where I live, and I'm a traveling musician. There is no way I will drive to Lexington for a UA/Drug Court/PO thing once a month. You need to ask them 'HOW MUCH TO MAKE THIS GO AWAY?'"

And he did. And they had an answer.

I brought a money order.

The judges smiled and wished me well.

It is what it is.

Yeah right, I know the dead granny shit works every time, you got a break. The rest of it: I believe, every word. Really I do. Lightning strikes twice at the same spot 9 out of 10 times. I'm also sure that you had enough to be charged with a felony every time that you were told to dump it out. I also heard a rumor about you picking winning mega lotto numbers 8-10 times too.

You almost had me, lock, stock, and barrel, until you told me about the judges smiling at you? I call BS on that!

The NFL

"Getting stoned is more important than my job"

- dumbass

So do I.

They send you to a medical lab for testing; a 10 year old can figure out fake piss and a microwave.

****, how to you think all those people got their jobs in the first place...

Bro, what they call "a felony amount" in Missouri is my smoke sack. If I get down to a half ounce...I'm out of weed. Ya dig?

In regards to Lafayette Co, I was in the back of my vehicle, on our way back from a gig we played in Westport, and it was brutally cold. About 5 years ago, before wax/oils became so ubiquitous.

My drummer was driving, went down a hill, the truck accelerated going down the hill...there was no one else on the stretch of I-70 at 3:30AM, and I got a ticket for possession, which they tried to hit me for Manufacturing on because of the processing involved in oil.

From the looks of the place, most people busted for felony possession in Lafayette Co don't bring a $4500 Money Order to plead out. That was quite a payday for them, the judge asked me if I brought the amount in full.

I told him I did. He smiled and said "Thank you very much, and have a great life." The "have a great life" part mat not be verbatim, but it was close.

No public defender, no multiple court dates, no wasting time with continuences or excuses and bullshit. I showed up with the money.

That may not happen very much up there like that, from what I gather.