Bills badly need pass rush help. Bosa will inevitably be hurt in no time. Thought about some smaller rushers but like the Chiefs the Bills like bigger DL.

The Bills select Nic Scourton DE Texas A&M

(Sorry fellas)

Brett Veach strolls onto the stage, a measuring tape draped across his shoulders, carrying a stick. He is smiling.

“Hey, did you see what the Bills just did? I called the Ravens and told them we wanted to come up to get Nic Scourton, but to please please please NOT tell Billy Beane.”

His smile drops, and Veach looks sad. So very very sad.

“Nick, drop the banner.”

Nick Weight runs on to stage, cackling, then jumps and grabs hold of a rope, swinging off the stage as he shouts “Local 42 for liiiiiiiife.”

A banner drops in his wake, a giant blown up picture of Maury Povich in a smart black turtleneck and brown checked sports coat combo, with the caption…”

“BUT THAT WAS A LIE.”

Veach begins laughing maniacally as the camera cuts to the Bills war room, which shows a distraught Billy Beane putting his head in his hands. The mic in the room picks up his moaned muttering “Not again. Not again. Don’t go on tilt, Billy. Not like last time… not again.”

“You see, I’ve been doing a little practice. Playing Texas Hold ‘Em with my boy Nick Wright. When you can take down the Poker Brat, taking down the Playoff Doormat is child’s play.

“Meanwhile, I’ve been personally doing some arm length measurements. Our pick has been measured, and he has NOT been found wanting.”

Veach stretches the measuring tape in front of him. The camera zooms in to see 33 1/2 marked with a red circle.

“With the 31st pick in the 2025 NFL draft, the once and future NFL re-peat champion Kansas City Chiefs select Josh Conerly, Jr., OT, Oregon.

“Patrick, we got him.

“Those scumbags from Philadelphia are on the clock.”

also considered for the Chiefs:

I felt like the DTs left (Grant and Tyliek Williams chief among them, haha) were not true separators from a very deep group.

I considered a trio of CBs I expected to be gone by 63, in anticipation of turning loose Jaylen Watson after this year, but felt like the value at OT was too high.

I choose Conerly over Simmons because he has a little better length, he’s a better athlete, he doesn’t have a super tough injury hanging over his lower body, and the things he needs to improve (getting stronger in the lower half) make this situation work out pretty perfectly.

The board went to shit fast and there were still 2 guys I'd love. Plus one I'd really like.

Conerly is the one I'd really like, but I get it.

I am not a LT guy this year. I have been looking more into the DL class and I actually agree with Crow on one of his guys.

If I’m the Chiefs in this situation I think I’d take JT Tuimoloau

If Philly doesn't take him, pretty sure I know who the Browns are taking first pick in the 2nd round.

The Scumbags from Philadelphia select Donovan Ezeiruaku, Edge, Boston College

Honestly, can't hate the Conerly pick if he's there. Hurts a little to miss out on a guy like Grant, but if the board's like that you've really got to go for it haven't you?

Who were the guys you loved there Staylor? Guessing Grant is one, right?

I considered Grant heavily, but just didn’t feel like he separates a ton from other DTs right behind him. So, leaning into the depth of the draft there and letting it come to me.

The Browns select Omarion Hampton, RB, UNC

Chubb is getting long in the tooth and will need to be replaced soon. Hampton can step right in and it further builds the team for a young QB.

Browns fans gotta love how this is going so far

The New York Giants select Josh Simmons, OT, Ohio State

Giants gonna suck for awhile, they can wait/gamble on Simmons' come back.

I covet Grant, but in the Chiefs' situation you have to take a left tackle if you think you've got a good one available.

Shit guys, I'm the asshole. I PM'd some picks to staylor and they were both taken.

Let's try this again.

The Tits select Mason Taylor, TE, LSU