Did anyone actually take it seriously from the beginning?

There have been a couple, yes.

No his dad hated him because he was a shitty kid.

Hurry up and post somebody so I can skip this thread for a couple of hundred posts of bullshit.

What? Don't tell me you don't enjoy watching a bunch of mealy-mouthed basement morons jockeying for position in this list. It's pure gold.

I don't even have a ****ing basement
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88. Mecca
Join Date: 4/6/05
Total Posts: 79,928

Mecca would have been much higher on this list had it been 2010. After being wrong time and time and time again with his draft analysis...he's officially now just a part time poster. Mecca had such gems as thinking Carson Palmer was frontrunner for MVP a few years back when he'd turn in 3 Tebow-esque quarters and then somehow muster together 1 good drive against prevent defense for the Bengals to win. He guaranteed 100% Tamba Hali could never work as a 3-4 rush backer. He agreed with trading Jared Allen because Jared Allen was a 'drunk' and Jared Allen would never be worth a big contract because he was going to drink himself out of the league. He said Tony Gonzalez was overpaid and worthless to us because he was a TE...when I told him he made the same amount of money as Daniel Graham he pulled the typical Mecca and decided it didn't matter that he wasn't overpaid he was still a TE and NFL teams don't need TE's...and then New England took over the league by showcasing their offense featuring Gronk and Hernandez further proving Mecca is, indeed, dumb. Mecca took dark pictures of himself on webcam showcasing his Travis Tritt hair and then tried to claim he was straight. In an attempt for us to lay off of him for obviously being gay, he posted pictures of 'the girl he was banging' in the pictures subforum...where some member in turn found those pictures on some porn site and she was outed as a porn star and he was outed as a liar, and a gay. Since Mecca generally stuck to football, no one really ever made fun of him for not having a job or living at home well into his 30's, which always really baffled me. My favorite Mecca moments were every year...when his mother would lay out his Sunday's finest...and he'd slick his hair back, put on his [gayest] smile, hold up his very own draft board he made himself (by sniping draft analysis from his 5 favorite experts), and then having his mother snap a picture of him holding said board. His scrapbooking skills are unmatched. His finest accomplishment in life to date was correctly guessing the top 2 picks of the 2012 NFL draft.

Pros: He does talk a lot of football. Sometimes, when he's not trying to be negative to just be negative, he does have pretty good takes. Never really personally attacks anyone like I just spent the last 10 minutes doing. Uses proper cutlery etiquette when eating meals (knife guards fork from evil spoon). Doesn't argue with his mom in the morning even when she lays out clothing he doesn't feel like wearing (good manners). When eating freezy pops, he has GREAT willpower and waits until the VERY END to suck up all of the "juice." (How he does it, I'll never know...)

Cons: Attended fat camp as a kid. (Though, he fit right in. Frazod went as well but everyone ended up making fun of him for being fat so he quit. Well he tried to quit but his dad wouldn't answer his collect calls from said fat camp so he ended up just being the fat kid at fat camp.) Speaking of calls, for some reason Mecca still sets up his speed dials. Really? Only dumbasses like Frazod use speed dialing (too lazy to dial the numbers). Although it's not a huge con because at least he sets it up for emergency purposes. 1 is his mom. 2 is his orthopedic. 3 is Mel Kiper. 4 is Travis Tritt. 5 is billing for Match.com. Frazod? Yeah, not so much. His speed dial is ridiculous. 1. Jenny Craig. 2. Propecia. 3. Papa John's. 4. 1-800-REALITY 5. Life Alert (which is weird, because he has to wear one of those Life Alert necklaces around with the pushy buttons that automatically alerts authorities when he has fallen and can't get up so why it's also on his speed dial baffles me)...I've lost my train of thought. Anyways...

Outlook: Post more dude. I miss you. I miss your horrible takes on football...I miss getting to see your draft board picture every year. I miss your made up stories about banging married women with fat husbands (wait a second!)...get back to 25 posts a day and you'll be top 50 in 2014!

Hootie, the reerunation of this thread is mostly your fault.

If you were posting more amusing rankings this wouldn't be happening.

GET ON IT YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Needs moar boxxy.

Yeah, some people in this thread live in trailers,

It's "cutlery," BTW. Not "cuttery."

contrary to popular belief

these aren't that ****ing easy

you can only make fun of someone for being fat so many different ways...and that's becoming the biggest obstacle now

At least he wasn't blowing dope smoke into my crib.

LMAO. MECCA COME BACK!
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I read at a 9th grade level.

and I'll edit it

you should be my editor by the way

That was EXCELLENT Hootie. I am not so ashamed to be reading this thread now.

For a time, I was.

The WPI glory days.

I wish I did. Trailers are nice
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Well, that and your crippling stupidity.

Are you drunk yet? It is after 4:00.

Its a shame Mecca doesn't post much anymore because that would have brought out the normal Mecca shit slayers which was generally lead by Hootie.

You should start you a top hundred list and we can compare them.

You could be the McShay to his Kiper. They don't like each other either
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Anything that engages both your frontal lobes is soooooo hard Hootie has to lay down and take a nap now.

Jesus Christ.

Slacker.

really guy?

I'd like to see people get as creative as my least 3 takes when ripping someone for being fat...

oh and I also ripped you for being gay, but I'm not surprised no one got the 1-800-REALITY reference. I really enjoyed that one.

Yes, but you weren't very good at it.

Hey Pootie, my title of ownership of your stupid drunk ass just showed up. It's crumpled and smells like pee, and isn't worth the paper it's printed on, but I might frame it and hang it over the cats' litterbox. :thumb:

he'd have no chance

you saw the 'Pootie' shit he tried making

there is no way his 'roasts' would be 1/100th as good as mine

I just talked about sucking the juice out of freezy pops...it takes a certain level of extreme untreated ADHD to be able to think of that stuff on the fly.

see

this is lame

it's not even funny

if someone has a good roast on me or 'pwns' me...I'll be the first to 'LMAO' at it. Hamas, Dane and I used to go round and round and round and round and sometimes, especially Hamas, would just ****ing get me good...and there was nothing I could do about it.

Frazod? Nope. He doesn't have the wit, intelligence or creativity to ever 'pwn' me.

That was quite a tome, Hootie. You must be tired now.

A better version would be to have Hamas proof each take and translate them to his type of writing style. It would be some epic shit then.

It's hard making chocolate cake out of shit and snot.

I'll write the rough draft...I'll forward it to GOATSE for an edit...who will then forward it to 'Hamas' for the final copy.

Probably would be the greatest thread in the history of the internet.

but we'd have to lock the thread after every submission...you know, to prevent Frazod and his band of meth headed reeruns from making the thread unreadable.

Mecca was easy.

Those 'roasts' were all recycled from the years I used to lay into him over his 'holier than thou' posting style.

I wasn't referring to overall content. More about basic grammar and punctuation errors.

I didn't read it, by the way, just acknowledging its length.

listen

i can't talk now but

you're going to be OK

trust me

you'll be fine

just trust in your heart

Nice impression, but it doesn't suit you.

If someone was standing here with a shotgun and looked at me (and he knew the correct answer) and said..."do you think Donger read that post YES OR NO?" and if I got it wrong he would blow my brains out...

I'd say yes without thinking and I'd still be alive to type this post.

No, you'd be dead (if he was a decent shot).

The thing is, I've annoyed and infuriated you continually. Your girlish squealing has been epic. Horrible poster.... not funny... look what's he done to my thread.... he should be banned..... he's mean to me..... it's all popcorn for the soul. Boohoo, you alcohol-addled reerun. Keep jumping through my hoops.

I guess the brain cells that contained the definition of "irony" have been blasted away from Pootie's PBR-soaked mind.

donger why can't ya see

what you're doin' ta me

when you don't believe a post I wriiiiiite

we're caught in a trap

we can't get out

cus i just love you too much baybaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Hootie, you lied when you said you loved me, and i had no cause to doubt ya, but i'd rather go on livin a lie, than to go on livin without ya...

Never said you should be banned...I think you're reaction to being banned from THIS thread would be priceless.

LMAO
I forgot about those skits.

Is that a play on a song?

ever seen the interview skit?

or philosophers playing soccer?

Well, here's the thing - I'm not an attention craving, narcissistic douchebag. Running the DOTY poll is enough for me.

All I'm doing here is making Pootie cry, and in this endeavor, I have been wildly successful. I can just picture him, stomping around his filthy studio apartment, kicking empty beer cans and pizza boxes, screaming my name between angry posts. It's great. Some don't get this, some don't like it. If you're one of them, rest assured, I don't care. If it bothers you, put me on ignore. It's not like I'd miss these little chats we have.

That was great...especially the juicy pop part.

http://i394.photobucket.com/albums/p...m/DSC02025.jpg


Best pizza joint I ever ate is in Pueblo Co. Every thing is made from scratch. It's been a long time that I've eaten there but I remember how good it was.

Post in this thread so far:

unnecessary drama 505
frazod 282
Donger 228
Branden Albert's Huge Balls 209
J Diddy 176


Take it for what it's worth. LMAO

I wonder how many of mine were Boxxy gifs? LMAO

Blue steels tears have been all about me

Heh. That one was pretty good, I'll admit.

At first I thought of Marshall Tucker Band "Can't You See" but then it kinda veered off.

Funniest line of the thread so far:

Ask Stevieray.

Note of explanation for some of the less-than-intelligent people. In the DOTY poll, people besides me make nominations and vote.

Once invoked the five second rule after dropping a Cinnabon on the subway.

Complains that he can never find his pant size of 58 (slim) waist, 28 inseam.

Has to purchase custom made bars of soap to find one large enough to cover his body with suds.

Wears suit pants with elastic waist bands.

Goes to restaurants on "kids eat free with adult purchase" nights for the free kids meals even though he doesn't have a kid.

Once claimed he was dieting because he only ate soup and salad for lunch, but it was ice cream soup and a taco salad.

Considers dessert to be the most important meal of the day...eats it after breakfast

Was disqualified from The Biggest Loser after they realized that the 80 pounds he lost was entirely attributable to a single coffee/cigarette dump.

Eats chili with his hands

Gave up listening to music because his iPod skipped every time he took a step

Has that unmistakeable fat-guy voice

Brags that he saves money on sunscreen because the underside of his tits and gut don't burn

Substitutes regular butter for peanut butter on his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Abuses hard drugs...inexplicably is still morbidly obese

Used to wipe his ass with a towel...back when he used to bother

Drives a scooter at Walmart

People at Waffle House get grossed out watching him eat

Isn't gay but will suck your dick because, "hey, free food".

Was once brought to tears after someone talked bad about that bologna shit with the little square chunks of cheese in it. (Is there anything more unsettling than watching a fat man cry so hard he sobs? This is an honest question.)

Hides Vienna sausages around the house

Pretends to be some swinging dick at his law firm even though he isn't the owner..nor a partner...nor even an attorney. Also, he's fat.

Hopes to someday pass the bar...on a turnstile without getting stuck.

Uses being "lodged" somewhere as a frequent excuse for being late. Nobody bats an eye.

The Mecca roast was ****ing hilarious.

There appears to be 2 unrelated topics here. Care to explain.

Not that I remember.

LMAO

And delicious in a red wine reduction with LOTS of butter

Are you trying to make this really tough on me?

<3 much love brah <3

Pootie, you should just stick with the ones on Saul's list. In one post, he outdid every lame attempt at smack you've tried so far. He only wrote a couple of them himself, but still, it probably took him a while to compile the list. Big shout out to Saul's former partner - the one who's responsible for all of Saul's free time during the day. If that dude hadn't forced Saul out of the company he started with his parents' money, Saul might actually be working, or playing golf, or doing other executive things, not sitting in his den raging hate at a guy who reminds him of that fat kid who kicked his ass in high school in front of all his friends.

It's also good that Saul worked out so much rage today over the internet, because seriously, his wife and kids need some time for the bruises to heal.

Anyway, well done! I'll have to remember some of those. LMAO

Frazod's interpretation of the world around him is fascinating.

I always feel special.

My iPhone does that with music. Is it a software bug or something?

I really hope Saul gives you a reach-around tonight. You've certainly earned it.

Loved the "Travis Tritt hair" comment.

I remember hearing about the girlfriend photo that was later revealed as being a photo from a porn site, but I always thought it was a joke. So you mean to tell me, this Mecca dude seriously did that? And was like, seriously serious when he did it? If so, that is ****ing hilarious.

Mecca? I think he said that if he ever met me, he'd like to punch me in the face or something like that.

I like Mecca, so I'd rather give him the benefit of the doubt. But yes, he did show pics of a girl that was supposedly a girlfriend or bootycall, that someone later outed on an amateur pic site.

He said that it didn't surprise him that she put up those pics because she was a stripper or an attention whoring slut or something similar, so it's up to interpretation.

The only negative thing I can say about Mecca is his refusal to admit when he's wrong. It really pissed me off from time to time because generally, he has very good takes and insight on college players. But the guy could never admit that he "missed".

Don't most people say that about you?

:D