More are but hurt over Alex Smiths 2nd half play....folks don't like being wrong on here.

What the **** did you just ****ing say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ****ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, ****er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ****ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ****ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will dro in it. You’re ****ing dead, kiddo.

They put them on, but when they go out the vest stays right in front of the mirror.

Chiefzilla is the Butter Pecan of posters

My grandpa loves butter pecan.

That's the point. He's the type of poster only an old **** could love
Posted via Mobile Device

See....you got it

http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0...k3x5o1_500.jpg

Your grandpa likes Chiefzilla!

That's gross, dude. Grandma's on the other hand think I'm delicious.

Deep down, you know you get a semi arguing with me. That is a strange feeling, I'm sure.

Tried to update and the OP won't save. What the ****??? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUu

We're almost to the start of the new thread after the roast I write today

Yeah. Which is why it's frustrating I wanted to have 101 to 51 in this thread and the OP and then a new thread for 50-1...now the damn thing won't save any more to the OP.

Take out Inmem's honorable mention.

In the next thread I would just post links to the actual roasts. That way people can get the full experience of the selected image that accompanies each roast

To me Inmem will always be that creepy guy carrying a dildo giving zero ****s.

To me Inmem will always be the fat gay guy on Modern Family.

Hey!!

Eric is one of us


http://prod.images.chiefs.clubs.nflc....jpg?width=580

That's not all that obscure, it's Devine in John Waters' Pink Flamingos. He also was the first to play the mom role in Hairspray that John Travolta played in the remake a few years back.

For the record I'm not on the wiener side of the spectrum, definitely firmly on the booby side.

http://popwrapped.com/wp-content/upl...S-facebook.jpg

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/377...-candles-o.gif GIFSoup

There is truth is that.

I enjoy arguing with dumbasses that can hold their own.

I don't even dislike you.

I just think you're a dumbass with hope if I can just verbally pound a little sense into that challenged cranium.

Yep
Posted via Mobile Device

LMAO
Posted via Mobile Device
Posted via Mobile Device

50. notorious

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb4g1y29DC1r2jdp6.gif

I don't know if I've said this before, but one of my favorite posters on this forum is the Talking Can. I love how abusive he is towards Laz. I love the shitty Cassel photoshop avatar he had for so long. I love how his grammar is just fine, but he refuses to use proper capitalization; it's like he just said, "This is dumb, so therefore I'm going to rape it." He's also responsible for possibly my all-time favorite post on Chiefs Planet ever. The idea of preventing mankind from ever existing just to make sure Scott Pioli and his family were never alive... it gives me the giggles every time I think of it.

Notorious is the cheaper "second wind" product that came out due to the success of the Talking Can. He does everything the Talking Can does and even comes with his own scary ****ed up cat avatar, but he's not the same. It looks and feels the same, but he's not quite hateful enough.

The result is an intelligent and fairly funny poster, but he's just isn't as sharp. He doesn't bruise vaginas the same way. If the two posters were overpriced kickstarter-funded coolers that make BigRedChief cream himself, notorious would be the one that doesn't come with the blender attachment or the phone charger.

This is hysterical. One of my favorite cross-thread humor lines in a roast (if not my favorite) ever.

LMAO

Funny shit. notorious is good stuff, Maynard.

Preach on it.

<iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/uCaCVNq7hxY?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/hNbsnBZOwqE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Accept no substitutes

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Ae0nwSv6cTU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Dude, all Maynard Ferguson does is covers. What the hell was I supposed to post?

Are there going to be roasts in this roast thread?

Look, I understand you like your roasts in a standard cut-and-dried format. But you need to step aside.

I'm not a roaster. I'm not a poster. I'm not a hoster. I'm a ****ing artist. See that shit I just did? It's goddamn art.

I'm here to create, not manufacture. I explore because I have placed no limitations on where I go with my roasts or what my roasts do.

My Donger roast didn't exactly insult him. All I did was imitate his posting style. But people ****ing loved it. There was a risk I took in writing that thing, but I went for it, because that's the kind of shit that Beethoven ****ing did.

And I will not sit here and listen to the deaf telling me what they think they want to hear. Your attempts to chain me down are futile. I'm a free man. No one, not even your philistine ass, can ever take that away from me.

I know, my [J]HS band director played back up trumpet for Maynard. Heck, I didn't get a good look, but he might have been the guy with the mustache and coke bottle glasses in the middle of the trumpet line.

Somewhat trivial, but he's one the few artists I have on record, cassette and CD, unless Johnny Cash snuck a cassette in their along the way.

http://danwiencek.net/wp-content/upl...audienceFB.jpg

[IMG]<iframe width="480" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/kKZfRAuY-M4?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>[/IMG]

You have your HS band director on record, cassette, and CD?

You must have really liked him.

I thought your roast of me was very benign.

[QUOTE=Saccopoo;10773025]http://danwiencek.net/wp-content/upl...audienceFB.jpg

ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

Dinny

No need to defend the roasts you drafted. The only thing saccopoo has ever drafted is an offensive lineman.

ROFL

OK Zillah that was good

:D

Beethoven was deaf.

So.

/thread

I'm still waiting for SNR's Norm McDonald-esque roast, whenever and whoever it might be.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/661...ob-saget-roast

Oh, You're a Seal? Not nervous.
http://i673.photobucket.com/albums/v...s-broken-1.jpg

Holy crap! Is that quote for real? Was he being serious? That's got to be the funniest shit I have ever read on a forum.

Is Beethoven telling me what he wants to hear?

No.

Because he's dead.

Thought you could outsmart me. But you didn't! I am victorious!

I thought the gorilla warfare line was hilarious.

He was quoting the meltdown maverick ace had one time...
Posted via Mobile Device

U wot m8? Ur a cheeky 1 u ****

Uh. .......I never said I was going to murder people.......

That's correct, you typed it....

Some of his best stuff was written after he went deaf.

Know why?

'Cause he no longer had to listen to other people's $#itty opinions...

Somebody falls for it everytime. LMAO

No. I said I would use military contacts to shut down people posting personal info. An empty bluff.

Are you kidding me?

In this day and age?

You're lucky to be alive...

No kidding!

Ate some bad bananas?

I have to admit. I'm really lost.

You don't say......

Yah. I have no idea what the **** you are rambling about.

Come on Big Smoke please tell me this is a tongue in cheek post, an attempt to be funny? If not, I have a long history on here and before the Planet existed helping and respecting vets so let me say if you were serious......not cool man.

How about now?

5K is usually where the threads start slowing down and then start slowing down the Planet. Better start planning a new thread and how you want it to work.

thank you :thumb: And now.............

<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:TargetScreenSize>800x600</o:TargetScreenSize> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> You swine. You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As we say in KC, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum and I wish you would go away.

You're a putrescence mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating fool, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.

The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-reeruned, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.
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Your meter needs calibrated brother...

I'm intrigued. :hmmm:

I'm just really at a ****ing loss with coffey. I'm sure I'm being trolled, I just can't figure out why .......

Going with big smokes theme..... Jeez. Take the fun out of it, now I just feel like I was kicking a puppy. An ugly puppy that likes to eat his own shit, but a puppy all the same.

It's not even cross thread humor, it's this thread humor freshly discussed.....

Lol. And I'm sure you are a super model. Admit it. We ride the ugly bus together

My hands and knee caps have appeared in 100s of magazines in dozens of countries and are insured for 5 billion dollars. My face has made two calendars and one straight to you tube independent movie.

I'm not on your short bus.....

Pics or it didn't happen:p:p

Isn't this that quote from Ghostbusters 2 where they are talking all that smack to the slime, verbally degrading it to piss it off?

No idea. I've had it for over 20 years I think? Back when the internet smelled like a new car.