Back in high school, I was driving my dad's semi truck over to a city about 30 miles away. I went under a 12'2" railroad underpass with a 13'6" trailer at 35 mph. The truck stopped cold within 30 feet. It sounded like 50 panes of glass were being broken directly over my head. The top of the trailer peeled back like a gigantic can of sardines. And lucky me, the local TV news van just happened to be driving by, and I made the 6pm news.
Oh yeah, I had to tell my dad. :cuss:

I don't think it was when the front wheel started sliding on the bike, and probably not when the rear wheel started sliding a second later in a different direction, it wasn't even when the bike tried to straighten itself up, but I think when I saw the headlight of the bike from the opposite side I was just on, that was a real "Ohhh Shit!!!".

ROFL

Ok, I'll play and this is my first post here so WOOT.



Back in 1987, terrible Kansas ice storm, 3+ inches of ice, icy rural roads, etc, outside my parents house knocking off icicles. I had left my gloves inside and my hands were cold, so I placed them in my front jacket pocket as I walked across the the sidewalk. I felt myself falling forward and couldnt pull my hands out of my pockets fast enough. I hit the ice covered sidewalk face first, picked myself up off the ice, and looked down at my feet. I seen my three upper front teeth stuck in the ice. I ran inside, yelled for my mother, we both looked in the mirror and couldnt belive what we seen. The three teeth were severed at the gumline. She called the dentist and I had an emergency surgery and triple root canal that lasted damn near 6 hours.

During my operation, the dentist suggested we try to re-attach the teeth. My mother had driven back home and had to use a pair of pliers to pull the teeth out of the ice. We tried to get the teeth re-attached, but to no avail. I settled for three metal rods placed in my root canals and then three falsies placed on them. The dentist said that when I fell, it had severed the teeth and the nerves at the gumline. The dentist and surgeon also told me that if I ever received another hit like that it would break my front jaw and surgery wouldnt be able to repair it.

Thats my "oh shit" moment.

That had to suck....

Its around 2:30 am a buddy of mine and I had hooked up with a couple other guys to go see the midnight showing of the Rocky Horror picture show at Oak Park Mall. After the movie I am stashing the rest of my beer in the locker for our apartment when I hear my buddy talking to someone. As I poke my head out of the laundry room door a cop flashes a light in my face and tells me to get over there. Well as I had done nothing wrong I went over to him only to find out we were prime suspects in a incidient involving guys dressed like us that turned a car over on its roof. At the time I am 14 and with all the comotion my Mom woke up and noticed I was down with the cops. The OH $hit moment happened when they caught the bad guys in a traffic stop and had to release me to my Mom who drug me up 4 flights of stairs by my ear and threw me across bedroom. Would have rather been arrested.

I've a bunch of these..

...like when a friend convinced me to go floating with him at the lake, even though I couldn't swim at the time, and I fell off of the innertube and instantly sank.

...like when I spun my Gran Torino when I was 16 and put it on top of hedge, with all four tires hanging in the air.

...like when the cops pulled me over (in that same Torino) for a broken headlight - just after the two guys in the backseat finished taking a bunch of bong hits. (Boy ... you been smoking any of that funny stuff?)

...like my second day of basic training (I was 17), I'm standing in my underwear as I turn and realize I just locked my keys in my locker.

...like when my dad walks in on my girlfriend and me in bed.

...like when my girlfriend's (a different one) period was late - and it was for a reason.

...like when another girlfriend (I'm sensing a pattern here) that I worked with left a rather personal note I wrote her on the counter at work for the manager to find.

...like when the mortor we were shooting off on the 4th of July tipped over and sent the mortor across the yard into the orchard next door and set it on fire.

...like when the smoke alarms in our house all went off at 2 o'clock in the morning. Fortunately, it was a false alarm but I don't think my heart has recovered yet.

But the biggest for me happened about two hours ago when my boss told me the company wasn't going to survive and it would be in my best interest to look for another job. No surprise, but it still sucks when finally put into words.

However, a huge "Oh, shit" moment for someone else is going to happen when the azzhole who is sueing us over nothing figures out that he just put his ONLY supplier out of business.

To be honest, I've had a lot more "almost-oh-shit" moments than actual ones, but the one that sticks out as being closest is as follows:

My current wife and I had just broken up after our first stint of dating. It was 1994, I was living in a fraternity house, and the fall semester was just getting ready to start.

We were in some argument about why I broke up with her, and I don't remember everything that was said. What I do remember was my "parting shot" as I was heading out the door. I wanted to leave with some zinger ... something that really sealed the deal.

So, as I had one foot out the door, I said:

"You're fucking psycho ... "

Now, this in and of itself probably would've been fine. Mean and a bit cruel, but fine. I did not, however, feel as though it had the necessary strength or venom for which I was looking. So I decided to add four more words as I closed the door behind me ... just four, simple little words that could really open a wound. Those words?

" ... just like your mom."

As I closed the door, I heard the sound of glass breaking. So, deciding that adding those four little words wasn't nearly stupid enough, I opened the door.

I was greeted with an 8" tall hurricane glass flying--at a fairly high velocity--right at my head.

My survival instinct kicked in and I closed the door fast enough to block the glass from embedding itself in my melon ... but too fast for me to remove my foot from between the door and the door jam.

I broke five bones in my foot, was in an air cast for about a month, and still have a pinky toe of strange and unusual size.

And all because of four little words ...

MM
~~:doh!:

P.S. The Mrs. and I laugh about it now and, it turns out, her mom is much more psycho than the Mrs. could ever hope to be. :)

And as long as you stick with that story, you could live a long, healthy life.

It helps that the Mrs. throws like a girl.

MM
~~:D

Welcome to the planet!

Wouldn't it have been easier to move to Kentucky?

Teh rep

MM
~~ROFL

ALL HAIL R&GHOMER!!!! :wayne: :wayne: :wayne:

When I saw Tubgirl for the first time.

ROFL, Tubgirl, that's classic. Not as bad as goatce though...