ChiefsPlanet - Poop The Top 101 CP posters of 2014...Presented by htismaqe

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The Top 101 CP posters of 2014...Presented by htismaqe (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=283869)

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10747743)

Where'd she gain the other 100?

who-wayyyyy ooooooooooo

:D

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO (Post 10747706)

rico, your boy got fired from snl...

Not necessarily a bad thing, IMO...considering the hilarious jokes about Michael Jackson and OJ Simpson that presumably led to him being fired... along with Don Ohlmeyer having a pretty skewed perception of what is funny.

Im surprised kinda. I figured SNR would have ripped my shitty trophy store job and my ex-addiction to pain killers lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by lcarus (Post 10747830)

Im surprised kinda. I figured SNR would have ripped my shitty trophy store job and my ex-addiction to pain killers lol

Those would have been good, too. But again, look at how many people I have to roast. To get every single roast perfect, I basically have to remember everything funny that has ever happened in the posting lives of about 70 or 80 different users.

Like, just as an exercise, let's pick beerme or Dr. Facebook Fever. There's no way he'll make the list. Now, given how much time you spend posting on Chiefs Planet per day, make a roast about him. Uhh.. well... going through the archives is an option if you know what you're looking for. If you don't, then you've got tens of thousands of posts to browse through. Awesome, right? So more than likely you're going to go off of memory.

So quick, what are some things you could use? Uhh... he likes drinking, he has no real friends, he has wife problems, he wanted to get banned for some reason for being douche of the year that one time... I think that's it, right... okay. Good. That's enough material. Just type up the roast and send it to the presses.

Now that's done.... OH SHIT! ****! You missed a great opportunity to crack about how he's always talking about his daughter's boyfriend and how much he likes him. Classic gay jokes were missed. Shit. Welp, that's too bad. That roast got ruined. Onto the next one, I guess?

You see, it's a lot harder than it looks.

yeah I don't envy you

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10747851)

You're starting to sound like Hootie :evil:

I have actually thought about how demanding something like this would be .
Pretty sure I could never do it.
There should be no rush to it. If you got time, you got time. If not.....
As long as you eventually finish, no one should complain about shit. This is a lot of work.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KC native (Post 10747871)

You're starting to sound like Hootie :evil:

This job does that shit to you.

If I end up Heath Ledgering myself, you should all feel terrible

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10747851)

:deevee: such a cross to bear-lol I am sure the people that have been roasted feel terrible for you. ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by lcarus (Post 10747830)

Im surprised kinda. I figured SNR would have ripped my shitty trophy store job and my ex-addiction to pain killers lol

Funny the % of trophy store workers that are addicted to pain killers-maybe being surrounded by all that Win all day-starts to make you feel like a failure. :hmmm:

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10747884)

This job does that shit to you.

If I end up Heath Ledgering myself, you should all feel terrible

I will feel terrible if this job forces you to make out with Jake Gyllenhaal and then play the Joker in a extremely overrated Batman movie.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiu Jitsu Jon (Post 10747263)

Who else besides yours truly brings you the latest on what's happening in the barbershop genre? No one, that's who.

I Have you at 124

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10747884)

This job does that shit to you.

If I end up Heath Ledgering myself, you should all feel terrible

You'll feel like a million bucks right before you kick it, though.

24mg of hydromorphone? Ledger must have had one hell of a tolerance to even attempt that.

12 might actually kill the average joe.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10747340)

What is a droll, PGM?

British for having parts of both sexes I believe

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10747659)

I think if I could, I have some people in mind that I'd like to hand tonight's roast off to just because I know they could do a better job than me. Kind of like Discuss Thrower, I'm going to make some cracks about this guy, but then I'm almost positive that people will come by and say, "Aw man, you totally missed joking about the time this guy was in this one thread and blah blah blah blah dildos and transvestites." I know I'm going to miss something, but whatever. That's just the way it is.

Hamas would be perfect to roast the poster after discuss...absolutely perfect

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball (Post 10747916)

Hamas would be perfect to roast the poster after discuss...absolutely perfect

Hamas was numero uno.

Direckshun would also be quite good.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10747937)

Hamas was numero uno.

Direckshun would also be quite good.

I will inquire about his services to roast said poster and send you the next two names if ya want. If Hamas declines maybe Direck will do it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball (Post 10747941)

I will inquire about his services to roast said poster and send you the next two names if ya want. If Hamas declines maybe Direck will do it.

I'll suck it up and do it if both of those guys decline.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10747948)

I'll suck it up and do it if both of those guys decline.

Alright will PM Hamas. In the meantime I sent the next two and they should be a little fun to roast

Hey Flybone?

You know those special roasters that I was gearing up for?

PGM just sent me one of them.

:fire:

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10747952)

Hey Flybone?

You know those special roasters that I was gearing up for?

PGM just sent me one of them.

:fire:

Mwahaha I figured that was the case

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10747952)

Hey Flybone?

You know those special roasters that I was gearing up for?

PGM just sent me one of them.

:fire:

http://i1262.photobucket.com/albums/...ps50f3f42a.gif

Quote:

Originally Posted by SNR (Post 10747884)

This job does that shit to you.

If I end up Heath Ledgering myself, you should all feel terrible

LMAO I will mourn for approximately 27.5 minutes.

I wonder if DiscussThrower is the roided version of carrot top?

Quote:

Originally Posted by PackerinMo (Post 10748035)

I wonder if DiscussThrower is the roided version of carrot top?

I'm told that I look thinner than I used to in spite of the fact I'm at my heaviest weight, but alas, I am not shredded or yoked or cut like Carrot Top.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10747152)

I don't really know, man. Is there something about Donger I don't know, but should? Is the Donger crazy?

I have no active mults

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donger (Post 10743658)

Hello. I have a question about this thread. It states that it is about "The Top 101 CP Posters of 2014." I find that to be a woefully inadequate thread title. Does that mean the top 101 best posters or top 101 worst posters?

Yes...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rausch (Post 10748182)

Yes...

I get you and svry mixed up a lot. :huh:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Smoke (Post 10748189)

I get you and svry mixed up a lot. :huh:

Wait, what?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson (Post 10748194)

Wait, what?

Senuseta

This Big Smoke guy is funny shit.

I'm so[highQUOTE=rico;10748210]This Big Smoke guy is funny shit.[/OTE]

right now

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Smoke (Post 10748212)

I'm so[highQUOTE=rico;10748210]This Big Smoke guy is funny shit.[/OTE]

right now

Say what? Are you high or something? Man... you're funny shit, man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10748210)

This Big Smoke guy is funny shit.

Yeah, he reminds me a lot of Norm Macdonald.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Smoke (Post 10748223)

I'm so confused.

I believe you are getting slow roasted......

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saccopoo (Post 10748238)

Yeah, he reminds me a lot of Norm Macdonald.

Yeah.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Smoke (Post 10748223)

I'm so confused.

Whoa, this is a twist. Big Smoke = confused = Eric Fisher.

I thought we were friends rico. :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Smoke (Post 10748254)

I thought we were friends rico. :(

Dude, we are. I really do think you are funny.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10748210)

This Big Smoke guy is funny shit.

He would a made the list if we started it now. He can't be this high....yet

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball (Post 10748282)

He would a made the list if we started it now. He can't be this high....yet

Teh lithpmaker!!!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10748292)

Teh lithpmaker!!!!!

I am currently filling in for the listmaker yes. He is on hiatus.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10748248)

Whoa, this is a twist. Big Smoke = confused = Eric Fisher.

It's really pissing me off you don't have an ellipsis after my quote.

Not only was it in the middle of a comment but it just looks more authentic...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball (Post 10748295)

I am currently filling in for the listmaker yes. He is on hiatus.

The listmaker kind of reminds me of "Management" from that show, "Carnivale." So mysterious.

And you are this guy:

http://www.slate.com/content/dam/sla...l-original.jpg

rico is the listmaker!

The maker may have "Skipped Towne"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball (Post 10748315)

The maker may have "Skipped Towne"

I've wondered about him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball (Post 10748321)

I am a midget?

If everyone who has interacted in this thread were assigned a Carnivale character, you would most definitely be the midget. The midget is the messenger for "Management" in that show.

Then the midgets...

I assume we're waiting for Direckshun or Hamas to roast the next guy before SNR moves forward and rains hell down upon his roastee?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halfcan (Post 10747889)

Funny the % of trophy store workers that are addicted to pain killers-maybe being surrounded by all that Win all day-starts to make you feel like a failure. :hmmm:

NSFW - language

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/HY9sJngXq38" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson (Post 10748727)

I assume we're waiting for Direckshun or Hamas to roast the next guy before SNR moves forward and rains hell down upon his roastee?

We'll see. If we receive no word from either of them tomorrow, I'll write up the next roast and keep things going.

Quick question. Should I be putting together an acceptance speech for my spot in the top ten, or no?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson (Post 10748878)

Quick question. Should I be putting together an acceptance speech for my spot in the top ten, or no?

No.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dave Lane (Post 10749005)

No.

Cmon, Dave Lane. I'm just shooting for the stars. Surely you can appreciate that, right?

Am I the only one looking at most of this list and wondering....who?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiu Jitsu Jon (Post 10749025)

Am I the only one looking at most of this list and wondering....who?

Yes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson (Post 10749007)

Cmon, Dave Lane. I'm just shooting for the stars. Surely you can appreciate that, right?

*segway music*

....."thanks. welcome back. And now, to present us with the "Muscular Cumshot" award, is Peter North"

"thanks announcer guy. and this years award for Best Male Performer.....goes to ......"Flybone"..(insert awkward footage of pron segments and footage of yardwork/familiy activities here)

...............Flybone for his role of Foreskin Gump in 'Shaving Ryan's Privates".

*applause*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiu Jitsu Jon (Post 10749025)

Am I the only one looking at most of this list and wondering....who?

Yes. The choices are well enough known.

Hamas is in folks....Pete prepare for a total raping

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball (Post 10749456)

Hamas is in folks....Pete prepare for a total raping

Muy interesante!!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10749489)

Muy interesante!!!!

It's spelled S E T S U N A!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baby Lee (Post 10749494)

It's spelled S E T S U N A!!

Mi malo.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball (Post 10749456)

Hamas is in folks....Pete prepare for a total raping

http://33.media.tumblr.com/a6949e4e5...fo9_r1_250.gif

As for the pic in the discuss roast....I actually picture him as a less masculine Michael Cera

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baby Lee (Post 10749494)

It's spelled S E T S U N A!!

That is a pretty original screen name but I can't help but think of tuna obviously.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball (Post 10749974)

As for the pic in the discuss roast....I actually picture him as a less masculine Michael Cera

I always picture him as a bigger guy... like a guy who actually throws discii. Marshall from "How I Met Your Mother" actually goes through my mind when I picture him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10749983)

I always picture him as a bigger guy... like a guy who actually throws discii. Marshall from "How I Met Your Mother" actually goes through my mind when I picture him.

That's because you married guys don't venture into the great dating thread

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball (Post 10749986)

That's because you married guys don't venture into the great dating thread

I think I've been there once... just to check out the commotion. Had no idea what was going on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 10749995)

I think I've been there once... just to check out the commotion. Had no idea what was going on.

Well you can share some stories from your single days....ones not involving cousin humping please

Yeah, Rico. Swing on over there and tell a couple stories.

Mac and ghak usually have some hilarious stories. Billay always talks about having dates from POF but he's probably still a virg, honestly. PGM and Clay are pretty tight-lipped.

That thread needs some action more than Discuss Thrower.

I'm going to cut you, PGM

Big Smoke should be expecting Lil Smoke in about 9 months.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThaVirus (Post 10750012)

Big Smoke should be expecting Lil Smoke in about 9 months.

I'm having a kid? Why wasn't I told about this???

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThaVirus (Post 10749999)

PGM and Clay are pretty tight-lipped.

I'm done telling CP anything about any girls I like until it's time to pick a ring. The shock value of THAT thread will be too good to pass up.

#Fifty-whogivesa****?

petegz

 Pete Gas was the worst wrestler in the most ridiculous stable ever conjured from the Dianabol-fueled brain of Vince McMahon. It’s fitting that the roasted dumbass shares his name with an utterly forgettable ****wagon of suck.

Pete Gas hates refs. Pete Gas hates everything else, too, including you and this sentence.

Pete Gas makes you re-evaluate your own priorities and moral code. Alas, Pete Gas is not Socrates, just a pile of mis-matched neurons so mangled that it makes you wonder how you could support something he does. Pete is a walking counterargument for all he hates.

Pete Gas makes you want to shit in your mouth because he uses a toilet bowl.

When you argue with Pete you’re left explaining that home teams get preferential calls in college basketball and that, although a driving player’s sweat may have sprayed upon the brow of a defender, sloshing perspiration does not equate to a missile dropkick, and thus no offensive foul.

When you argue with Pete Gas about the Royals, you are left defending Ned Yost at times. No, Gas did not execute a rhetorical trap—it’s just not possible to bitch about everything someone does all the time.

But before you hate on Pete Gas too much, remember this.

In 1995, Mr. Gas was younger, thinner, and still just as dull. He had just finished a short tour of the bar circuit in Jasper, Missouri as a roadie for a Collective Soul cover band. He took the sawbuck and vertebral subluxation for hauling their amps, slapped on his LA Lights, and went to a local spank shack on the side of I-49. On his way behind the black curtain, before he could drop in his first quarter to see the local dwarf scrog a burro behind Plexiglas, there he saw her: his mother on the cover of Internal Reamplay 4: Painting the Lines, featuring Jerry Markbright, Jerome Bogar, and Jeff Triplette.

Before you pillory Gas too much, remember that your mom has not sucked semen and fecal matter out of her own ass, blowing bubbles with it on VHS-C so she could score a gelcap of he’ron. Although you may have done it yourself if you’re beach tribe.

Although that may excuse his hatred for the zebra set, there is no proper penance for someone with the worst taste of anyone who has dragged digital ass across this server.

Pete Gas misses the Arch Deluxe

Pete Gas drinks Shasta, even though he can afford Hee Haw

Pete Gas believes Michael Bay is a visionary.

Pete Gas wants you to buy a WiiU, too.

Pete Gas has a sick collection of HD-DVD.

Pete Gas has a sixer of Steel Reserve in the wine cooler for a special
occasion.

Pete Gas had all the members of Nickelback sign his autobiography of Scott Stapp

Pete Gas dresses up as Robin Thicke when he is role-playing with his wife, who wears an Obama mask. Don’t judge a hate-****.

Pete Gas’s favorite character on The Wire was Lt. Marimow and he hated Slim Charles.

But worst of all, Pete Gas makes you wish you were from Kansas.

Turns out Hamas ain't too bad at this roasting thing either.