Eh, it's Hootie's Top 101. Saul can carry this thing to 10K, but I'm done updating this POS.

You gotta keep the updates up
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Welp....Sorry

I don't think you're getting to 10k without the updates.

Sucks for Knowmo ROFL

I think Saul Good can take this bitch over and run with it. Seriously.

REPLACEMENT HOOTIE REVIEW, APPLICANT NO. 1 - Saul Good

Positives: Cherishes the spirit of Hootie. Cherishes all things Hootie. Was once himself Hootie, right up until the day that goddamn bitch refused to get an abortion. Longs to be Hootie again. Cries himself to sleep at night remembering what it was like to be Hootie. Covets Hootie. In fact, if he actually knew where Hootie was, Saul would probably kill Hootie, eat his heart, and then fashion a Hootie suit out of Hootie's actual skin and wear it while posting in this very thread. So that's settled - he's the best man for the job. Also, is smarter, more experienced, and a bit more creative than Hootie (brain was spared the hard years of constant alcohol abuse). And unlike Hootie, who works 50 hours a week, gets 1 day off and has a life, Saul's got nothing but time, and time, and more time, to pour himself into these rankings in honor of his fallen (or at least wandered off) champion. Well, that and argue the same points over and over with Wickedson in the realignment thread, but seriously, there's no reason he can't do both. It's not like anyone outside of cyberspace will miss him.

Negatives: Can't match Hootie's energy level, goofiness or actual happiness. Vaguely remembers what it was like to be joyfully carefree, but sadly can no longer emulate that since he turned into an angry version of Phil from City Slickers all those years ago; instead substitutes vitriol and spite for Hootie's slapstick silliness. Mean and nasty can only be fun for so long. At least for normal people.

Outlook: Saul seems to have impressed the Hootiephiles with his initial offering, but they are a fickle bunch, and much like their hero, easily distracted and ohhhhh shiny. He may have the right stuff, but let's see what he does with it.

Good luck Saul! :toast:

This is what we call pulling a Hootie.

The evening that I posted what ultimately became an abortion of an attempted roast of Hootie, I had an idea that I thought would be kind of funny. Due to the way the thread unraveled, I thought it would be funny to post a youtube video of the ending of the movie, "Carrie" and assign random posters to certain characters.

I, of course would be Carrie...all happy and whatever until the pig's blood was poured on me.

Various characters/items in that scene = various posters.

For example, you were going to be the character, Chris Hargenson. She is John Travolta's (metro Simply Red's) girlfriend...the shit-stirrer....the one who pulled the rope to the pig's blood that soaked Carrie. That was definitely you.

Mr. Kotter was going to be given the role of the mother's voice screaming, "they're all gonna laugh at you!!!"

CrazyCoffey was going to be the pig that was slaughtered.

I won't go on with the others.

Ultimately though, I decided to not go through with it. Thought it would be a good idea to just watch the thread bury itself. Not only was my "attempted roast" perceived as awful by you guys, but within the rambling (ugh, I do that BADLY when I have adderall in my system), I think there was a part where I did cross a line that I shouldn't have...with the facebook shit. It took me like 20 minutes to locate the Hootie "rant" on the CP facebook page....I took DJ's Left Nut's post a little too seriously on what he said about Hootie + principles.....Thought I needed to find genuine butt-hurt from Hootie (a guy I do not know and have only been somewhat familiar with for a year and a half when I joined) and that is the only real butt-hurt I knew of, from him....or at least that I knew how to easily locate.

Prior to posting, there was one thing that was highly suggested to me by someone who genuinely likes Hootie. And that was to not mention his last name, to ensure his safety. This person was serious about this. And I DIDN'T mention his last name, but the implications were heavy. Which was a "not thought out well enough" move on my part. Feel like a total douche-canoe about that. Should have left the ancient facebook shit out of it. Don't care how awful the roast was perceived, in retrospect, it was a douche move on my part.

I will say this, scrolling through all that CP facebook clutter was interesting in terms of putting usernames to faces. My gosh, some people's online personalities do not fit their actual faces AT ALL.

This thread is a passed around cum sock, tampon sock, tear catcher sock and a TP sock. Yet never warshed.

Where does this board stand on Hootie abuse? I'm not sure we've ever had this conversation.


What's CP's general take on the issue of Hootie cruelty?

Do you think it's an issue worth spending governmental resources over to combat?

Do you think there should be harsh punishments for egregious violations of Hootie cruelty?

Do you think regular offenders of Hootie cruelty should face prison time or property seizure?

Do you think that undercover investigators of Hootie cruelty should be punished by law for revealing their findings?

I am not familiar with a tampon sock, tear catcher sock or a a tp sock. Please elaborate.

Keep it in dc ****tard.
LMAO

ROFL

Not saying it would ever happen, but how ironic of a turn of events would it be if Frazod ended up finishing it off?! That would be EPIC, for it appears that, like Saul Good, he is inclined to do these well.

:fire:

Then just piss on it.