I'll write it!

IMPOSSIBLE IS SOMETHING!!!
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Not at the moment. The Aqua Teen Hunger Force trailer is hysterical. It comes out in March.

I'm gonna respectfully disagree with you.

If somebody has just tried to pass off cornstarch as crack and you want to kill them with your shotgun, remember to use the end that goes bang, instead of hitting them with the stock

I'm here, had to get a quick post whoring session in quick, be right back to get caught up.

Woman uses nudity to distract her husband so she can beat him up. Unfortunately it doesn't work on the cops who had to chase her down the street in the rain

Welcome to Darwin 101. Today's lesson: Stowing away in the wheel of a 747

I want to burst all over this thread's face

Bill Gates claims Vista will "wow" its users. As in, "Wow, does this suck" or "Wow, WTF happened to all my data?"

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Park set to open where passionate young couples can have sex freely. Dibs on the swing set

Curt Schilling promises that should the Red Sox non-tender a contract to him in 2008, he still wouldn't pull a Johnny Damon Iscariot on the fans

Web-resistant journalist to write book called "You Can't Read the Internet While You Take a Dump"