don't wear the condom to the date. I tried that doesn't work that way.

and remember your not done till you both get your cookies.

i will go sacrifice a goat now in hopes of sucksess.

Oh no. You always have to pay. One way or another, you pay. You just may not realize it at first. Rookie...
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Right. We've heard this about 80 times in the past year. Ever heard of the boy who cried wolf?

But, but it's different this time. She's been texting me all day & sending picsROFL

Arooooooooooooooooo!

I suppose I could get into a traffic accident or be mugged. Alien abduction is always a risk. So let's not count our chickens before they've hatched.

Don't forget a condom. 2 cuz sometimes it's hard to get those suckers on.

Have you been practicing with your mother or sister's bra?

I still wanna know who inspired your venom yesterday morning.

No need. I proved to be a natural months ago.

It's just so frustrating, we try to help this guy but he refuses to follow through consciously or subconsciously.

A natural what?

I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.

Really just a special kind of **** douchnozzle. You know the kids that always get picked on so as soon as they can pick on someone else, they're all for it? Or the kind of blister infection of a human being that is more annoying than harmful?

I bully bullies. This thing isn't even worth bullying.

He puts far too many stipulations on a simple act..

Too far to drive
Too chesty
Too much lipstick
Too tall
Too short
Talks too much
Blah, Blah, blah.....etc.....times 1000x

precisely he sets himself up to fail.