I GOT WOOD FROM KISSING!!!

Come on. I'm going to be the energizer bunny. I'll probably injure the poor girl.

You're 1st time will last all of 30 seconds, but you can avoid this. If you feel you may be close to getting some, excuse yourself and rub one out in the bathroom.

Sex and the single Christian is crazy making. The Word says any sex outside of marraige is a sin. But Paul wrote that if you think you cannot handle this then you best get married. Yet when you just had a nasty divorce they advise you not to rush into a new relationship for years or else you will repeat this problems. So abstinance is best. But you shouldn't masturbate. You should just look to God if you get the urges. But if you think you will stumble get married. But wait to marry the right Christian woman. But don't rush. And don't kiss cause that will lead to sexual activity. But don't masturbate.
That's when you say **** me!!!!! And you end up going on the backpage and finding a hooker.
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Congratulations. You're the Kyle Farnsworth of teh sex.

You're at your best in low-leverage situations.

the moment your pee pee gets wet you'll have 30 seconds at best before you unload the whale hehe

you won't be hurting anything

Yep, except his pride when she says, "It's ooookkkkayyy." and an image of Herm runs through his head.

ROFL

Well, you should, if she's cute, and/or a good kisser...

Hell, if you don't get a random boner just from some girl you see on the street now and then, you might wanna look into those pills.

This.

You're killing this thread. With hilarity.

In other words,

Sex an' th' single Christian be crazy makin'. Th' Word says any sex abroadside o' marraige be a sin. But Paul wrote that if ye think ye cannot handle this then ye best get married. Yet when ye jus' had a nasty divorce they advise ye nay t' rush into a new relationship fer voyages or else ye will repeat this problems. So abstinance be best. But ye ortin't masturbate. Ye ortin' ta jus' look t' God if ye get th' urges. But if ye think ye will stumble get married. But wait t' marry th' starboard Christian lass. But dasn't rush. An' dasn't kiss cause that will lead t' sexual activity. But dasn't masturbate.
That`s when ye say Hork me!!!!! An' ye end up goin' on th' aftpage an' findin' a hooker.

Could be worse.

http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.ph...u=VlKAE&ref=nf

That dude's a playa...

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"Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!"

All it's missing is, "Have my own van, full of candy. Can meet you anywhere, as long as it's not within 100 yards of a school or playground..."