Yea, I'm definitely gonna give it a shot. I'm reading into the persons posts and thread starting history now. Only problem with my roasting is that I don't know a lot of folks history. What they're known for. I can only go off what I read in their recent history.

This job went to a noob why?

Because you wouldn't step the **** up.

I spent several years barely even checking in around here. I got the same problem on not knowing a lot of history with quite a few of these folks. So giving me the job would be just as senseless.

Timbone will do ok. Haven't heard from snr lately.

Isn't going off their recent posts the whole reason for this thread? I thought it was the top 100 of 2014 :shrug:

True, but past rep always comes into play

69. Silock

http://i1262.photobucket.com/albums/...psa355c524.png

Hi, I'm Silock Mclure! You might remember me from such threads I've created as "Do you have a bug out bag?," "Anyone do automated Christmas light shows?," and "knock, knock jokes." Don't remember those threads? That's probably because they're boring as ****.

Today, I'll be giving you a lesson on how to be a member of a message board since 2006 and not leave a single lasting impression. All you've got to do is spend most of your time in the Media Center promoting crappy shows such as The Michael J. Fox show, showing your wonderful taste in music by praising shitty “Jolene” covers by Miley Cyrus, or trying to unload all of your awful outdated media equipment on fellow CP'ers. You want a Mitsubishi DLP projector that I paid $1250 bucks for before realizing it was a piece of shit and a terrible purchase seeing as how I could have gotten an actual High Definition TV for less money? I'll sell it to you for $1000 if you'll just reply to one of my threads. How about a pair of discontinued Klipsch floor standing speakers that look like they're straight from the set of an 80's teen house party movie? I'll sell you mine for $400. Don't worry about the water ring stains on the wood, that's just from my protein shake glass sitting on top of it and sweating into the wood.

Yea, I said Protein shakes. I drink them because I work out, brah. I'm a crossfit pro, bud. You'd know that if your pansy ass spent any time in the Fitness thread. Do you even lift, bro? Me and my boys are throwing up weights all day, bro. You know what they say, “The best way to keep fit is humping and pumping.” Here we are stretching out after an intense leg session last week:



Just check out these numbers:



Bench - 365 max

Deadlift - 505 max

Bulgarian Split Squat - 335 max

Military - 275 max

5'11", 185

That's right, I said Bulgarian Split Squat. I bet your candy ass doesn't even know what that is, because you've never seen the inside of a gym, brah. Don’t believe those numbers? Check out this recent video of one of my home workouts:
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Cp3NctJ53D8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

That was just a straight squat rep. My favorite exercise is just the normal bench press. Especially when my buddy LewDog spots me. He wears super baggy shorts and doesn't always wear underwear, so every once in a while I get a quick peek at Big Dick and the Twins. It's added motivation.

I’ve even got my younger brother working out:
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/WsQy54p2zQQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

That’s my mom at the end of the video. She doesn’t lift, but she makes the best strawberry protein shakes this side of Lee’s Summit. Don’t worry about the fish tank my brother broke, I’ve been thinking of switching to a Saltwater rig anyways.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to down a whole bag of oranges and critique peoples form in the fitness thread. Remember, “Curls for the Girls, guys. Curls for the girls!”



Side note: I'm number 69, huh?
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/XHt9bdW1lqg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Nice job. This skit by Joe Rogan reminds me of Silock. (NSFW - Language)
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/4Hx_oQwrOzs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

ROFL

Silock was kinda tough to roast, because two hours ago I literally knew nothing about him. And when I did start reading his posts and threads, I liked the guy. He doesn't say stupid shit, so I had little to work with.

Silock's good people.

Good roast.

30 roasts in 30 days.

really productive work gentlemen

did you guys split this up by shifts or something?

Yeah, other than "He's teh ghey for being healthy" there's not much to go on with Silock.
The n00b earned a stripe.

I've offered my assistance, (yet to hear a response).

I bought an xbox 360 from Silock one time. It worked for 3 years before it broke.

Flybone, please put the Silocks gay homo hump picture in NSFW tags

Someone please put loochy's NSFW reply in NSFW tags

I'LL PUT YOUR FACE IN NSFW TAGS

I always knew Silock was a closet crossfitter!

They're not humping. They're stretching. That should be fine for work.

wow dude hates silock

Were the youtube videos in my roast when I originally posted it? I could have swore they were. They weren't showing up a minute ago. I put them back in. If a mod took them out and they want it kept that way, let me know and I'll remove them again.

Ricoesque length, but good....keep going

Flybone McJeffreyRoss!!

:LOL: nice one

That one was pretty good.

I've got some homework to do tonight at work, but I'll try and squeeze in some time to work on another one. I'm a little uneasy about the next guy because of his history.

You scurred timbone?

Just finished my homework. Let me look into it a bit more.

PGM, can you please update the main post? I don't feel like wading through dozens of pages to search for the roasts.

XOXO,
Bier

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68. Brianfo

How in the **** did I make this list? I've posted only 1300 times in over 12 years. Seriously, how in the **** did I make this list?!?!?!? Putting me on this list makes about as much sense as putting users such as BushyTheBeaver, HarryParatestes, and Gary on the list. Look them up, those are actual members! You won't recognize them though. Because, like me, they have been members for years and don't post shit.

Lately, I spend most of my time on the board boring the shit out of my fellow Royal fans at a blistering pace of 0.30 posts per day. Everything in moderation has always been my motto...Well, with most things at least, but lets not re-open that chapter.

I can only guess that my place on the list is due to my sensitive and caring nature. Whether it's berating a guy for being on Chiefsplanet the day his "best friend" died, following Simply Red around and accusing him of being gay, or hanging out in the racial slur thread bashing all the indian lovers, you can rest assured I'm doing my part to make this a family community.

I don't feel the love in return, though. Anytime I post a thread asking for a bit of sympathy, I'm met with jokes and mult accusations.

Perhaps I should just kill myself.

LMAO

That last line is a killer

Great now he just will and we will hear about it, get's CP shut down.




This is why we can't have nice things...

That is a puzzler. How the hell did brianfro make the vaunted top 101?

They're pulling straws at this point.

Apparently for the same reason that chiefs4me did. :shrug:

1.) Lack of super active posters
2.) Purposeful exclusion of certain active individuals based on lols or dislike (suck as InMen) stretches the list even further.

There are only about 60 posters on here who post daily...:D

And 2000 of us who now only occasionally lurk...

I'd guess that number is much higher...

Probably.....I suck at guessing!!!

Because he's memorable... the dude hasn't been active much, but out of the small sample size, he did manage to make himself memorable. Everyone who was reading this board at the time, remembers the suicide thread. There was another thread he started about a year prior to that, that stood out also. Then there was that thread with the title thanking Phobia or something. That was memorable. I'm sure people remember that. He seems really cool to certain users, but pisses most users as he did SR and others. Like him or dislike him, he is a pretty bold user...

Saying that, I really, really like his input when it comes to wrestling. He's one of the few users who engage in that thread. I created the thread. And there are maybe 4-5 other users on there who give their input or follow wrestling. Brianfo is one of them. He seems to really know his shit.

WHY WON'T THIS THREAD DIE?

BECAUSE THIS THREAD IS A SURVIVOR!!!

LIKE NANCY KERRIGAN!!!!

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/NjUQMs0kVEI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Who?

When looking through Brianfo's posts, I guessed that maybe the list maker spends some time in Wrestling or Royals threads. Those seem to be the only two places where Brianfo isn't being a tool and actually makes some informational posts.

hey man, don't hate on tools that don't make informational posts

Because beneath this thread is more than flesh. Beneath this thread is an idea. And ideas, Mr. Strongside, are bulletproof.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4...yb3ao1_400.jpg

Brianfo being on the list told me that Simply Red is not teh list maker...unless he put him on the list, purposely because he wanted to see him roasted....:hmmm:

But nawww, I'm starting to count SR out as the potential list maker... which he used to be one of the 2-3 that I suspected....

I'm thinking Clay... although this person said they didn't want people knowing who they were...and Clay doesn't avoid anonymity. Then again, he probably loves the "who's the list maker?" stuff.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

Soon as I can man. Won't be able to today though.

I think you're the list maker and you're just trying to throw us off your scent. You can't fool me, Swaff.

That last line was killer timbone. Well done.

Thanks. I struggled for a while on whether to even do that roast, because that's a touchy subject. After reading through most of the guys posts though, I concluded that he had to either be a troll, or a giant bag of douche. That roast really doesn't work without that last line, so it was either all or nothing.

I'm too n00btritious to be able to think of 101 posters and rank'm. There are still a ton of posters that I remember by their avatars.

Rico should throw on his mullet and dress like a figure skater. People at the ice rink would be baffled.

And LOL at your Biography on your profile page. I just have one thing to say about that.

"It's attached to your rod motherlicker."

tonya harding would feel at home

So, it took me 11 days to notice that I had been listed on here.

Thanks PGM.

n00BS EVERYWHERE....

Are we still doing wrestler usernames next month?

Damn I hope not, I hated that shit.
Posted via Mobile Device

Cmon, Sauto! I thought wrestling was a big part of Asian cutlure?

Sumo. Not scripted. I'm good too. Classically trained


And I wanna know who the idiot is and it sucks when names change.
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I used to like to to watch the fights at saitama super arena
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I am so in.

Did you ever watch shoot wrestling or shoot fighting or whatever it was called? That was bad ass.

Ravishing rico Rude

Vincebone McMahonerson

Pandre the Giant Meatball.

Love it Babyface Lee....or Baby LashLee

How about: Bamby Bamby Bigalee.

So now this thread is a month and a half old and 28 people have been done and mostly from the initial burst. At this rate we can dovetail this easily into the 2015 rankings.

The fame really seems to get to the roasters at a pretty quick rate...give them about 10-15 roasts (in my case, like a half) and they go into meltdown mode.

Rico, do the next roast.

Penade The Giant

I've already reached my meltdown point. I did 5. I meltdown and feel too much pressure from the fame and attention after .5.