Guess I'm picking the local guys

The Green Bay Packers select Jacob Parrish, CB, Kansas State

Harsh but fair.

I gave up on slow RBs about 5 years ago. They just leave too much meat on the bone.

There are 3 RBs still sitting out there (I think) that I'd take over him. All of them have their warts and no, probably aren't 'workhorses' but I also don't know that the workhorse back even exists anymore.

I do wonder why the hell the Cowboys never gave Dowdle a real shot. They got away from him every chance they could find then let him walk for nothing this off-season. Dowdle is a fine complement to one of these other more explosive backs who probably can't handle 200 touches.

The Jacksonville Jaguars select Terrance Ferguson, TE, Oregon

I agree regarding the Cowboys. They had some good RBs, but they just kind of said, "Meh, we'll move on," which was a bit surprising. I thought they would have hung onto Tony Pollard a while longer. I don't believe Pollard and Dowdle are enough for Jerruh. I think he does want that "workhorse."

I have a suspicion that Jerry's last big hurrah is going to be trading from 12 to 5 with JAX and taking Jeanty.

Yeah, you're probably right.

Silly throwback thinking from Jerrah -- would rather get 4.2 yards/carry out of a 'bell cow' than 4.5 yards/carry from a couple complementary guys.

"Well they get into rhythm in the 4th quarter" or whatever other such mongoloid nonsense that has been dispelled a hundred times over by now.

In that case I could see him trying to move back into the early/mid 20s and taking Hampton if he can't move up for Jeanty.

That's a steal there, IMO.

But I always get medicals wrong in these drafts. I end up taking some guy with 1st round talent and an injury flag in the 2nd round then he falls to the 5th and kills my score.

Morrison was who I'd have taken with the Revel pick...

Honestly, I was planning to take Johnson with the Cowboys picks for just the reasons that are being discussed, so…

It all worked out!

Yeah, I'm curious if he'll slip nearly this far in the real draft. The CBs in our draft have all gone later than I expected.

I would have taken him as a value pick for the Rams earlier if we'd still had our second-round pick.

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oh look, everyone's waiting on Billay again...

I’ll message him on Grindr.

May be a little difficult to explain to my wife if I get caught, but the CP Mock Draft comes first.

The Rams already have our guy on the phone, but we can't tell him we're drafting him until after the Texans' pick. So we're pretending to be auto warranty salespeople.

The Houston Texans select CJ West, DT, Indiana

He claimed he didn't get a PM last time, so I'll give him a pass for that one. This time, I 100% PM'd him myself.

Announcing the selection for the Los Angeles Rams is former cornerback Gary Green, who played 132 games for the Rams (32) and Chiefs (100). He actually earned pro bowl accolades for both teams.

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Green makes a few introductory comments about how the NFL exploits football players, and then says,

"Regardless of that exploitation, the Los Angeles Rams select LB Barrett Carter, Clemson."

Gary Green has informed Baltimore that they're on the clock, while also taking the opportunity to remind them of the older Colts or Browns players who have health issues and receive small pensions.

The top two wide receivers are fairly established for the Ravens. They’ve signed Deandre Hopkins, who has certainly lost several steps. The Ravens need to add a wide receiver with speed.

The wide receiver group has thinned out a bit, so they reach a bit by staying in their own back yard. They add elite speed with this pick.

The Baltimore Ravens select Tai Felton, WR, Maryland

staylor26 has been notified that he’s on the clock.

As soon as he busts his next nut, he’ll be here to pick. Should be any minute now.

I have a job not all of us can **** off in our law office chasing ambulances or whatever you clowns do

The Seattle Seahawks select Vernon Broughton, DT, Texas

The Seahawks already have an embarrassment of riches on their DL, and after filling needs with the top 3 picks, I'm going to add to that strength.

The New Orleans Saints select Elijah Roberts, Edge, SMU

Just DM’d Gloucester now (server was pissing me off too much to do it when I made my pick)

I think there’s a good pick waiting for the Chiefs who fits well and fills a need.

I almost took him for the Ravens but didn’t like the fit.

Well, unless the Browns do something weird, I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing here. Need to check the board first.

I have a viable 2-deep here but I think the pick is gonna be pretty clear.

The Cleveland Browns select Ozzy Trapilo, OT, BC

Browns grab the massive Trapilo help out their T position.

This lined up nicely for the Chiefs.

The Chiefs war room exchanges a big round of high fives.

Mike Bradway remarks "Are they trying to help us out? This is the part where we throw our heads back and laugh!"

Brett Veach picks up the cell phone and says three simple words: "Send him in!"

Jamaal Charles glides onto the stage and steps to the podium. With a look of extreme concentration on his face, he says:

"With their second third round pick in the 2025 NFL draft, the Kansas City Chiefs select Bhayshul Tuten, RB, Virginia Tech.

There is a lot of good value available here - Jared Ivey of Ole Miss, notably - but I can't pass up the chance to add an explosive back with the ability to be a real weapon in the passing game, who strikes some fear into defenses. I don't think he makes it to the Chiefs' pick in the 4th and don't trust my options there.

You named the guy I would’ve taken, but I do like the direction of that pick.

Couldn’t go wrong either way here.

Likewise.

I'd have taken Ivey but had Tuten and Sampson on my list of backup options had the Browns taken him.

Fine pick. I just couldn't pass on Ivey there -- he's too Spagsy.

I like Ivey a lot. There was another DL I like a lot that was under consideration, too, but at the end of the day, the fit with Tuten and the ability to impact things from Day 1 are too strong.

Browns already took Carter....

Thinking the same thing but different player. Sai’Vion Jones

I like his bend and rush moves more than Ivey. He’s a workhorse too. Maximum effort every play.

His arms were also 34 at his pro day instead of 33.5 at the combine where they messed up everybody’s arm measurements.

I really like this kid

And even without Carter, they have Garrett and needs EVERYWHERE (including RB, IMO).

I agree -- it made zero sense. Just had to have it in the back of my mind.

Little younger -- Veach may like him more.

I just don't see the power at contact that I do with Ivey and I think that's what would draw Spags to him. I've given up on considering 'bend' for the Chiefs -- they just don't seem to give a shit.

Yeah Andy answered the question about Uche and pretty much confirmed what we thought: he was an undersized speed rusher that Veach got really cheap and didn’t fit.

Think Spags has shown us he has no interest in smaller DE’s with no room to grow. FAU was kind of the line on that barrier and he didn’t play much early bc of his shoddy run defense.

I can see why they waited on Omenihu and didn’t budge. There are legitimately 11-13 guys who have the size and length to fit his requirements. Guys like Ivey, Jones and Roberts alone are a bargain in the 3rd rd.

There’s so damn many of them. Same with DT’s. It really makes me wonder if Veach will go somewhere else in rd 1 bc the value is so damn good at 63 and 66.

Will be on in ~1 hour to pick

The Philadelphia Eagles select Cobee Bryant, CB, Kansas

next has been DM'd

I think the Chiefs could really do with another DE. But given, as DJ said, they have no interest in bend or speed, and I'm not fond of the other types available, getting a true RB speedster feels the best bet

As Miami's pick approaches, the college guys are getting excited as they imagine the future. Partying with Tyreek in Miami Beach is the pinnacle of NFL rookie culture.

The Vikings select Deone Walker, DT, Kentucky

Dang it. Miami had already bolstered our chair legs in preparation for picking him.

Give us a few minutes to contact the next guy on our list.

Round 4 is up!

Poor Jamaal. He had to pronounce Suamataia last year and now he gets stuck with Bhayshul.

Making the pick for the Miami Dolphins is a player familiar to most of us. Tyreek Hill has appeared in 141 games for the Chiefs (91) and Dolphins (50), with pro bowl appearances for both teams.

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Tyreek comes to the stage in his best paternity-suit courtroom outfit, and says,

"I need someone to practice against, so the Miami Dolphins select S Andrew Mukuba, Texas."

He then points to a middlingly attractive woman in the audience and says, "Hey, you wanna have a kid together?"

Tyreek notifies New York that they're on the clock, and then impregnates three women who happened to be standing near the phone.

That big ol' cleat chaser that Tyreek injured is probably breathing a sigh of relief...

Tyreek would have definitely inquired about his sister. But then again, I'm guessing that he inquires about every player's sister.

Couch-Potato, did you message Billay?

He's probably at work at this point. I'd say make his pick and move it along

The Rams come to the podium, then look around in confusion and sit back down.

Yup

The Rams can be seen near the stage gesticulating and waving their draft card at Roger Goodell.

The San Francisco 49ers select Cameron Williams, OT, Texas

Announcing the selection for the Los Angeles Rams is the legendary 1990s Ram-Chief Dexter McCleon! He appeared in 132 combined games for the Chiefs (41) and the Rams (91).

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McCleon enters the stage with confidence and says, "Nothing spells success like a premier cornerback. The Los Angeles Rams select Dorian Strong, CB, Virginia Tech."

Dexter has informed the Lions that they are on the clock.

Can't coach speed...

Tits select Maxwell Hairston, CB, Kentucky

God damn it can you people ****ing spell?

The Tennessee Titans again attempt to make a pick, employing their team cryptologist to review all the names in case people decided to spell this guy's name with a couple Xs and maybe a Q or two.

They select: Dylan Sampson, RB, Tennessee

You can't coach spelling.

Thanks for your help today bud, been busy!

This is our first year starting after free agency, and I wasn't sure if we could make it, but so far I think we should be good.

Maybe we will continue that to avoid moves/trades ruining our mock.

The Cleveland Browns select Jordan Phillips, DT, Maryland

Cleveland needs to punish all the good QBs in the AFC and whomever Pitt trots out.

My what I would've done if I were drafting for the Chiefs (I love what Duncan's managed to do):

1. Kenneth Grant, DT, Michigan
2. Shavon Revel, CB, East Carolina
3. Charles Grant, OT, William & Mary
3. Dylan Sampson, RB, Tennessee

The Revel pick I wouldn't have made at the time, but in hindsight, duncan nailed it and has sold me. It was one of those situations where I wasn't even considering the position. The value is just too good to pass up.

I probably would’ve gone:

Conerly
Sanders
Burch
Tuten

LT of the future. 2 big additions to the DL. RB with the best burst (arguably) in the class.

The rest goes to a pass catcher and DBs.

It was spelt correctly in my original pick post!

I'm willing to give Staylor and/or mods assisting with the master list a break, they do a lot to make this happen.

(But yes, typos are super irritating)

No worries. I was just being a pissy bitch.

Conerly
Morrison
Sanders
Ivey

Then I'd almost certainly be looking 'weapon' here at the back of 4. WR is a bad class but we still need a bigger X sort out there somewhere, IMO. Not a true 'jump ball receiver' but a guy who's a little more physical and can offer some different challenges at WR.

I'd also be looking at RB. I'd make a quick scan at LB just to make sure there's nobody I'd be kicking myself to miss out on.

It's not a coincidence that I've never had this issue until this year. A combination of a new phone that I'm getting used to and me being too busy to double check myself.

I'm not apologizing for a ****ing thing though. This is free work lol.

Greatly appreciate those of you (mostly you) who make this happen every year.

The Jacksonville Jaguars select Lathan Ransom, S, Ohio St.

The Oakland Raiders select Billy Bowman Jr., S, Oklahoma

Yes, Oakland.

Stop picking good prospects for the Raiders. Channel your inner Mark Davis.

What I wouldn’t give for a head of hair like that, but no, I just can’t.

The Bills select Savion Williams WR TCU