Indeed.. I don't think day one was the time to hear this.. and this is probably still too early. But, definitely consider it BT.

And, I know it sucks. If you find you really don't care, then is probably the time to call it off. When my wife asked for a divorce the second time, we were splitting up the house items fifteen minutes later.. that was clearly the time.

Wow man. I'm really happy you were able to make that kind of progress and be happy together.
That is awesome

IMHO, forgiving her is sound advice regardless of whether the relationship is ever repaired. In my experience, forgiveness isn't about letting the offending party off the hook. It's more about my own spiritual, psychological and emotional fitness. It's also a way to claim some control over an uncontrollable situation.

Move forward. Don't look back.

Holy shit. I had no idea you guys split. Shows WTF I know.

GOOD DEAL.

Peace be with you brother, God be with you, and may the reddest of lights shine upon you.

Forgiving my ex-wife has done wonders for every single relationship in my life. Seriously.

And now, we're friends again, my girlfriend and my ex are friends, and most of all, our BS doesn't get in the way of doing the right things for our kid.

Forgiveness is everything.

But I could never actually go back to being in an intimate relationship with my ex- she hurt me too much for any possibility of that ever again. It's okay, I understand and I forgive her... but I could never put myself in that situation again. Probably never get married again.

And that's okay.

You may be right. I'm still trying to figure all this shit out.

I can just say for myself, I would lose all trust after being cheated on.

I love it when documented pieces of shit like you think anyone listens to your advice.

I need to echo this. No matter the outcome, eventually one needs to move on.
Forgiveness allows this. There is no timetable for forgiveness. But often if you don't, it will do more harm to yourself.
My Wife cheated on me. We got divorced and it ate the hell outa me. I was mad and in the long run the anger was hurting me. I forgave her, and moved on. Today we have a great relationship. We are family. Once you have children together, like it or not, you are family. I know because of this past I became a better man.
Wishing you the best.

Haven't read the thread, but let me say this.

If you take her back, once a cheater always a cheater.

Realize it's probably not your fault, move on, forgive her and try to be "friends" while lawyering up and get custody of your kid. She will always be in your life, so it's best to try and be friendly to each other...for the sake of your child.

DO NOT let her take your child.

Also, don't try to convince yourself that you can just ignore it and move on.

Some people chose counseling and whatnot, but she made the choice to throw everything away.

Dude, lighten up. His advice on this is pretty solid.

Wow, I had no idea you two had reconciled, congratulations!

See guys... it can and does happen if both sides want it to happen

And don't let this event turn your heart to stone.

You're a good guy, not every woman is untrustworthy.

These threads always annoy the shit out of me because of the guys that say "GET UR KID! MAKE DAT WHORE PAY CHILD SUPPORT!"

Unless there are substance abuse issues, mental health issues, or abuse issues, the courts are going to side with the mom 9 times out of 10. Beachtribe didn't mention any of these. Unless he has a bottomless bank account and the best family lawyer ever, he will get joint custody if they split.

Also, the whole "once a cheater, always a cheater" line is bullshit. I know several people whose relationships have survived infidelity (both the man stepping out or the woman stepping out). If the relationship is worth saving and you want to make the effort to save it (and it will take a lot of effort), then try to save it.

Obviously there is a reason as to why she cheated. She could have felt like beachtribe wasn't satisfying her emotionally, sexually, etc. Sometimes those things are fixable. Sometimes they aren't. Without knowing why she did it, then you can't make the determination as to whether it is save-able or not.

she could also just be stuck on her EX.


may not have a damn thing to do with BT

This is most likely what it is imo.

Oh, ok. So it's your fault Lumpy stopped posting.

Not sure why op is wanting to kill the dude when it's the girl who betrayed him

cause he gave her dickin so good she had to go back for mo

We all suspected before now. :p

Gonzo the Wise

Because the guy always wants to kill the other guy.

It is natural

It's naturally insane.

A man who sleeps with a married woman is no good either.

Your black and white world isnt nearly as pretty as mine.

No it's not.

That guy knew she was attached, so its majorly disrespectful to run around with her.

I would personally be done with her and save his ass whipping for a later date. But he would have one coming...I

Im too old for all that work.

None of that would be work.


That's the fun part

You're assuming she didn't tell him that they were on splitsville already. A woman who cheats is a woman who lies.

Doesn't matter to whom.

:spock: so much for all of your well reasoned advice and concern

I think the Internet and forums like this are fine for releasing frustrations and venting... but counseling on sensitive issues like this, when the details are unknown... not healthy.

I wish the guy the best for what he's going through, but take little of what's said here to heart, outside of the best wishes type stuff. Only you and your wife/significant other (didn't read to see if you're married, just making the assumption) know what's best for you here, if it's meant to be, you can work through it.

Wouldn't make a **** to me lol

I have forgiven her.

My son comes first.
Making his mother, whom I love, my enemy will not create anything positive for anyone involved.

We've talked about what needs to be done.

We are getting along and moving things forward.

It's going to be a big change. I've never been away from my son.
I don't know how it will be good for either us. I'm kinda his window to the world.

She has no idea what she's in for with me not around all the time.

I worry for them both.

I love them both.

I will miss them both.

Keep your head up, brother.

Sound advice.

Everyone's is regarding their reference point for what inspired it in them.

Information is only as valuable as how you decide to use it..or not use it.

I like to kid around. If anyone gets a chance there is a book "Sperm Wars" that will make you the most cynical person ever.

The best advise I received was to feel your pain and let it run it's course (but not too long). Let it happen. Don't try and cover or suppress it. Deal with it how YOU deal with it.

because it's easier to place anger on someone that you don't still love

This...and move forward and do things that make you happy and continue with that. Heartbreak sucks...esp when you believe you are with the one. Trust me it gets better!

It really is..

I think that was actually just me shaking out the last bit of juvenile BS left in the tank.

I thought I was pretty tough once upon a time.

The last time I got my heart broken was in HS.
And it was the only frame of reference I had for how I was feeling.



Noooooooooooow,

this guy is an ex-con, and ex crack head and he's gonna be around my son.

Though I'm not hoping that it will happen, this increases the chance that he does catch an actual beating quite significantly.

Something tells me he won't be around your son very long.

Damn.

Well said.

Tribe... dude, sounds like this is really going to test you

I'm glad the juvenile BS is spent, you'll need all your best wits right now... you may have forgiven her, but this thing seems far from over IMO

Steady as she goes, no hard turns

Supposedly he's cleaned up.

She is clean and lives right. She's a nurse and won't allow BS around her son.


Of course I also thought that she wouldn't **** the dude. So what do I know.



FTR She's always loved this dude. I have no idea why. He's not attractive.

This is what happens when you hook up with someone for their looks/physical attraction.

I've actually felt guilty over the years for leaving a woman who really, truly loved me for this one......For one reason, and one reason only. Because she's hot.

I was flying all over the world taking her on my business trips. Bar-tending weekends. ****ing loving life, man.
And shit has done nothing but get worse since I've met this woman.

Bitch beat me down. Almost KO'd me with this shit.

But I didn't hear no bell.

Yes, far from over.

That's the kind of advice I can use.

Some one is seeing a silver lining. Good on you.

Your STB ex will feel the same way.

Just to be clear.

I'm a huge advocate of 2nd chances. Even for this guy.

If he has his shit together and she wants to be with him. I think I'll actually be happy for her.

But taking on the full brunt of my son's needs is going to make her have a nervous breakdown.
I'm afraid if I'm too nice she's gonna be calling me for help non-stop. And that will piss me off.
She has ALWAYS put her needs education/ career ahead of mine, and I have always been there to handle the weight of the world.

Hope he's gotta strong back.

Not everything that shimmers is Gold. It's all good though. Good experiences. It will hurt like a bitch for awhile like a muscle strain, but then you rehab and then you come out stronger than ever. You will make sure the next gal is a good fit for you and her. Then you will be fullfilled.

The rebirth of beach tribe has begun!

It's important to note that being honest to a group of good dudes helps the good dudes as well. I know lots of times life is just ho hum, but someone actually trying to do the right thing, trying to give a ****, brings out inspiration in me. It also reflects on times when I was out on the grind and shit was ****ed up. Good on you man.

/thread

Jesus. Its like reading my Bio with my X

If & when you decide you want custody of your son.
,......................and you will
You will destroy her in a court room. No judge is gonna look at her move to be with a crack head prison rat as a positive move for your son.

Again...Your posts today with the X are quite similar to what I went through ten years ago. I have custody and the bitch pays me $600.00 a month

Just don't do anything stupid... don't 'leave trails' that can be used against you. Take the high road, keep details of everything, stay positive and do the right thing.

Yes keeping your mouth shut and letting your attorney do his or her job is of the up most importants.

Edit/// I did keep notes. I wrote everything down on paper. To this day those notes are locked up in my gun vault

The silver lining here is that you get to focus on your kid 100%. And that's a good thing. You can dump all the love and affection and attention you can on them without worrying about the secondary affects of sharing that with someone else.

Take all you can from that. It makes you better and your kid better.

I wouldn't worry too much about what "they" do. Just focus on your kid.

And she'll be calling you non-stop because that's what she's come to expect. Make sure that she's responsible for her parenting time, but take every chance to be with your kid that you can. You don't ever get that time or opportunity back and they are what is important now, not you (or moreso anyway).

And, for the record, most nurses are ****ing bat shit crazy. One has the tendency to think "Oh, the medical field...blah, blah, blah." Nope. Completely ****ing insane as a group.

Wanted to post the exact same thing, but didnt want to needlessly make things contentious

But if its me?

Oh yeah

All texts saved, make notes of anything and everything said in phone calls with dates and times etc etc etc

Tribe, I gotta admit, you are handling this far better than I would.

I'm just trying to be strong, brother.

I've climbed high, fallen all the way to depths of hell, fought my way out and then climbed higher than ever.

Just time to it all again.

Bring it on.

This. Times eleventy billion.

I will do this, but I honestly don't think it will get nasty

We still care very much about each other.

She's my best friend. She really is.

Shit. This is that part that hurts.

Back to work.

I've got nothing too good to say Tribe. I've been on this rock for 49 years, and if there is one constant, it is that cheaters are cheaters forever. You have to be wired a certain way to be able to do that to someone that you love more than yourself.

Yeah, second chances have their place. You know, for stupid kids that steal someone elses shit, or someone that gets busted for smoking dope or something. But cheaters? They are a different kind of ****ed up. No remorse unless they get caught. They cheat over and over. Like I said, it's how they are wired. No sense of accountability, and very selfish.

Aside from dealings with your kid, I wouldn't give this bitch the time of day. Now, or ever. if the cooch was on fire, I wouldn't piss on it.

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward some are strong at the broken places.

But those it does not break, it kills."

You've got all the advice you're ever going to need. I just figured a little Hemingway couldn't hurt.

If you get her to come back. Thats when you will realize you don't want her anymore. She's tainted.
I give it no more then six months, before you wake up and realize
NO WAY IN HELL A DRUG ADDICTED FELON IS RAISING OR LIVING WITH MY SON!

FTR. My X was and still is hot as hell. She's a cross between Bo Derrick & Kate Middleton. With steel blue eyes. Beauty is only skin deep.

My internal alarms went off. I asked her what was up....and she told me.
She didn't lie. She was straight with me.

Being a hurt ass bitch is unattractive, no matter how I feel inside.
Making her miserable or feel the pain I feel won't create anything positive.

Hate
Hurt
rage
wrath

All ingredients for a perpetual shit sandwich that everyone has to take a bite of.

Her and her twin sister call me a master manipulator.
Now I know that they are giving me way too much credit as I'm no mastermind.

I've just learned that you can much more easily get what you want with a smile and kindness.

I'm keeping the big picture in view.

I don't want her back.

Good for you. It took a 48hour reset with my X to figure this part out.

But she made a chioice..

If she loves him more...Why should I stand in the way of that?


LiveSteam, everything I've said hinges on him being stand-up.

Otherwise he will be put down.

I'm right with you on the time table. 6 months tops.

Here comes the part I will need help with, though.
At this very moment, we are being extra nice to each other.
It will be very hard to resist her...erm..charms ..if she decides to turn it on.
I hope I'm as I'm strong in that area, cause pussy power is real.

She just got out of the shower and is walkin around in her panties right now.

I work at home she goes in at 6.

You guys wanna see a pic?









I'm ****ing with you.

It will never happen.

LMAO

Great to see how you are handling the immediate emotions...you are handling it better than most do.

But I will reiterate what I posted.....get an Attorney and seek out a Counselor. You 2 might do well for a while but times and people change. And even if nothing goes wrong and you remain friends, there will still be moments of friction over who is making the decisions on your son's welfare.

If you both want to remain friends, then spell out responsibilities legally....leave nothing to chance. That way there are no arguments about who handles what.

And I won't even begin to mention all the fun you will have once your child becomes 18....

Nice

Thanks.

Just keep it in the back of your mind, that she destroyed us & our family. Its hard not to try again. And the hotter they are the harder it is for men to walk away.We think with the wrong head sometimes.
If you are anything like me? You'll **** her again & right in the middle of pounding her bottom you'll get this urge to put your hands around her throat & squeeze until her eyes pop out of her eye sockets. That's when you will know it is over for good & time to lawyer up and go get my son.

I had an ex playing me for quite some time. Him or me, back and forth.

All it took was the last time she blew me and was gagging as I got up, put my pants on, and left. Left it as that.

Wait guys, new shit has come to light..

Best line I've read in here.

Quit being a pussy. She dicked you over. Post nudes on the Internet. It's only fair.

This.

Yup.