I committed a driving error, that's what.

Funny that I spend two hours driving around trying to find the ****ing place and **** it all up as I'm about to cross the finish line.

I have no good things to say about any religious deities.

I think a movie could be made about your life at this point...

No, I'm nobody special. Just another ****up. Lots of those.

Not like this though, this ****up is something you see in a movie not in real life. I mean this is just like movie scenario bad luck...

Like I could tell you ****ed up stories about my friends and none of them have movie sitcom laugh plots like that one you just told does.

lol this is movie shit, eh?

We can alter the script to make me fall in love with the tow truck driver. We'll make it a beautiful woman though instead of a fat man.

We'd have to add and subtract things to make it more entertaining but still that last story has to stay in..

We'd give you a friend who banged all these chicks you wouldn't and then afterwards he'd say to you "I'll let you smell my dick for 5 dollars" to which you'll be grossed out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC8GTmX2G5w

NSFW, language.

sux for you

God, **** I'm drunk.

Well on the brightside atleast you didn't hit anything.

Ummm....ok???

You missed Claythans story didn't you...

Yes, please do tell.

Claythan basically went to meet some chick at a club, got in a car accident pulling into the club and then spent his night riding around with a tow truck driver.

You are bound to hit something if you circle the block enough times