Based?

Last night I went to the bar with her.

The names are changed to protect the innocent.

I don't remember what time she showed up, but I got there at around 5 pm. I drank a lot by the time it was 1:20ish am.

I called that bitch a taxi, bitches love taxis.

We live in a 3 story townhouse... with all the big windows pointed west. My bedroom is on the 3rd floor. You just can't keep it cool. I ended up hanging a comforter over the windows... makes a huge difference. Couldn't sleep otherwise.

Drinking is something to do!

As we're waiting for a taxi, she hops into a grocery cart of the Big Lots that is next door. I don't know if you guys have Big Lots, but its a pretty shitty store.

*writing on notepad*

bitches love taxis.

So now she is in the grocery cart, and I hop on the back and ride the bar and we ride the cart around the parking lot because the parking lot is a hill so we rode it a pretty far way.

you have to watch the movie.

There's a huge nice one that just opened in Independence. One of our new fancier low-budget places.

Do you have it? Can you lend it to me?

So after we got to the bottom of the parking lot, I pushed her back to the top to where they kept the grocery carts and I pushed her in so she was trapped. Being drunk I thought it was a good idea to do it again as hard as I could and she hurt her knee when I did.

So you did get some smush smush.

Wait.... is that it?

There was much pouting, but anyways, the taxi finally got there and took us home. The fare was $17.40 but I only had like $12 in cash so I asked him to put $15 on my credit card and it was declined for some reason so she had to pay using her card. I felt bad about that, but whatever I just bought her like $30 in drinks.

Sidenote: I have become very friendly with this bartender chick at the bar and I'm fairly certain that she hooks us the **** up. She loves the girl too. On friday night we drank at least 15 drinks each and my tab was only $48. Last night it was her, me, and another friend of mine. We probably had about 50 drinks total and the tab was $80.

Multi-level units are the worst, the heat is always going to rise to the top. One thing you might try is to turn your fan from Auto to On and let it run 24/7 to keep the air flowing whether the AC is running or not. And make sure the air returns on the lower level aren't obstructed by anything.

Okay where was I? Oh that's right.

We get into the house and we both lay down on the couch and she was saying her back hurt and her knee (the knee was my fault).

So I got her seated right in front of me, and my legs are straddling her and I start my massage.

I take her shirt and bra off and continue with massage. It's getting pretty sexy at this point. I think I had a boner. Don't quote me, I was pretty drunk.

Do you give a decent massage?

FYP

Decent is a good word. I forgot to mention that I smoked a bowl, so it was probably one of the better massages I've given. If I'm ever doing anything with my hands (building shit, playing sports, giving massages...), I'm much better at it when I'm high.

This massage therapist guy I met who went to jail for sticking his finger up an unexpecting hole told me that most massage therapists smoke pot. Comes with the job, he said.

That conversation came up while I was trying to help him learn german.

If I gave a massage while high, I would probably start on one shoulder and about 45 minutes later I would still be on the same spot with no idea how long I'd been at it. All I do is zone out.

So anyways after 30 minutes of massaging she starts falling asleep so I just sort of woke her up and had her put her shirt on and I went and turned off the lights and tv and we just went to sleep right then and there.

Wait, I thought this was JOhn's thread...

Oh man, I'm so high...

Not me. It was like I was seeing an imaginary line showing me where to rub and how hard to do it. I started at the top of the ears and gently rubbed all the way around them to the lobe and then lightly massaged the area right in the back of the ears where the jaw ends. From there the neck, then the shoulders, and then the back.

I'm pretty sure I did a good job.

:)

OH **** DCS IS BACK!

Sorry my story didn't end with a bang.

Although I had mentioned earlier in the thread that I didn't get any last night.

sup people

w00t!!!!!

Yeah, I'm grabbing food and water and heading to the basement.

TONIGHT ROCKS!

Sorry Sundays eat your heart out!

Major...

F'n...

Boredom.

Lockout is destroying all good men...

Must..

have...

Football...


Ugh.........................................passes out.

I think burst is returning here.

LMAO

We gotta dig up the Thanksgiving Douche-Off thread. That was epic.

we'll still have football someday...

Everybody posting in this thread is a supporter.

Nice.

.NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

He was so youn... uh full of li... uh.. HE HATED MATT CASSEL DAMNIT YOU LOCKOUT!

I'm telling you, it was my stories.

God, I've been watching those boring ****ing videos of Mo' Carthon and the trainers, and the soap boy etc. at KKC.com to just to have SOMETHING.

The proof is irrefutable

you have stories? do tell....

LMAO

Oh yeah. When I woke up this morning, after being awake for about an hour I told her to make me breakfast. I sort of demanded it. That pissed her off. Then I apologized, then she offered to go pick up breakfast and bring it back since she didn't have anything and I said, "yeah, maybe you should do that." That pissed her off again.

Whatever, I got a machaca burrito out of it.

you demand breakfast, I demand BJs, and the women get pissed. What's up with that?

Which reminds me, I need to kick Kyle some coin sometime soon here, I'm way overdue.

Nm.

In the last 2 nights I spent around $60 on her for drinks (though she did pay that $17 cab fare). Oh yeah, I also gave her my $12 cash so she could buy her cats food.

I don't think demanding breakfast is such a bad thing at that point.

Just donated $25, because that's the type of dude I am.

You just made me feel like shit. I've donated 5, then 3, then 10 last month when I got a bonus. I use this place alot, I feel like I should donate, but I'm broke.

I would donate more, but I spend the little money I have on a girl who doesn't want to make me breakfast.

I spend the little money I have on these kids who throw things at me.

I'm sure your kids are the loves of your life, but I find myself saying, at least I'm not in those shoes.

Diamonds and buying her new shoes get you a BJ. Pachmayr grips and spending time on CP gets you a woman in curlers, bath robe and a cigarette.

Been there.

And there.

I've gone through long periods where I couldn't afford to give anything as well. I've been very fortunate as of late.

When I get a FT job, I'll kick some cash Kyle's way.

Do any of your guys livers ever get sore after binge drinking?

I've binged the last 2 weekends, and I can actually feel my liver being sore. Never had that happen before.

I can feel little pains in my side if I ride the train to hard. Therefore, I don't binge anymore.

Don't say there were never signs telling you to slow down.

Just woke up. My liver is still sore. No drinking for a while for me.

flush with plenty of water this week .. continue this weekend with just beer ....

Went to work this morning and got covered in Chicken Blood. Nasty.

It's just telling you it wants moar

Listen to your liver

Somehow a freezer was left open friday and 800 dollas worth of chicken and fish went really bad.

I'm soooo glad I left at my normal time Friday. They were trying to get me to work late. Had I worked late, I might've been fired today even though I usually have little to do with the freezers.

If I had been in the building, or anybody else while the chicken was being put away, "someone" must had left the door open, and they would get fired.

But, since the boss was the one to do it, "A piece of chicken shifted in the freezer during the weekend popping the door open." LMAO

that time of the month already?

The cool thing was, I got to splash around in the chicken blood with this really nice girl at my work and sprayed her off outside with the hose.

i've seen porn flicks that start out just like that

Chicken Blood porn is the best!

How you doin boog?

did you guys just throw out the rotted fish and chicken? If ya toss it in a bucket and let it simmer in the heat for a few days it could make for some good chum and/or catfish bait.

not too bad. think i got a turtle head pokin out.

how about yourself?

Yeah, we threw it away. It was so gross.

i'm glad you didn't dump it in somebodies swimming pool or something. that would be really mean.

this new chick i'm poking has a weird fetish of giving me hickies on my butt cheeks while i'm trying to sleep.

I'm good with it, i just find it pretty odd. Going to ask her who taught her that butt i'm afraid to ask.

Kinda what I emant by throw it away, but whatever.


Quit suckin my ass I'm trying to sleep!