DAD!

I need some fatherly advice.

LOL not really I'm just gonna post whore while going over my evening last night.

I left my girl's house around 3:00 pm yesterday (tuesday) to go home.

At around 4:40 I got a text from one of her friends (who has become my friend too) that she was having a going-away get together at a nice bar and she wanted me to come. She is going to Florida for 2 months, I figured she was inviting a bunch of friends.

I got to the place around 5:10 and she showed up shortly thereafter.

We settled in and had a few beers and I asked her who else was coming. She said oh only _________. (_________ is the name of the girl I'm seeing and I am censoring it for her protection!!!!).

I was like.....oh....

So she showed up around 6 pm and we stayed there and drank until maybe 8:30 pm.

Wow. This is ****ing interesting.

At this point the friend was like, "Alright I gotta go, see you guys later." We hugged her and she was off into the wind.

So, wait...

Does me being your dad mean I'm mexican or part?

You hugged the friend too?

LOL SIDENOTE:

SHE IS TEXTING ME RIGHT NOW ASKING WHAT I AM DOING. SHOULD I BE LIKE, I'M LAYING OUT, IN DETAIL, OUR NIGHT LAST NIGHT ON AN INTERNET MESSAGE BOARD.

Yes I hugged the friend. As long as you don't have a boner, it's cool.

You should so say that.

And btw, have you mentioned me to her yet?

I sometimes hug the friends. Not always.

Okay so we are getting ready to leave and she is all like, "Oh Matt I don't want to drive my car because it has a busted taillight, can you take me home?"

I'm guessing you told that bitch to walk?

I knew that this really meant, "Oh Matt I want your hot body, will you come home with me?"

LOL I should have told her to beat it.

Anyways....

Do you still have the stache?

She got in my car and I was like, "Listen here. We aren't done drinking yet, we are going to a cheaper bar though." She replied, "but I don't have any money." I responded, "Are you kidding me? You don't have to act like you don't know that I am going to pay for you."

Hell yes I still have the stache.

We got to this dive bar around maybe 9:00 pm and drank there for about an hour and a half to two hours. We also listened to the Jukebox.

She wants the stache and the cash.

So now I am driving her home and the whole time I was just thinking to myself that I just want to get home and fall asleep. We get to her place around 10:45 pm.

The second we walk in the door she is like, "Can you do me a huge favor?"

She always asks me this and its always something stupid like getting her a Coke from the kitchen when I'm already in there, so I say, "sure."

She said, "I need you to grab yourself a beer and a pipe and your weed and come upstairs with me while I wash my hair."

She wants you to steal her a baby?

Oh thats way hotter.

I was like, "ok I think I can do that for you."

I don't know if she wanted me to take a shower with her or what, but thinking back on it, that's probably it.

I ended up smoking a bowl of chronic right outside the bathroom and got so ****ing high that I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

I laid down on the bed and started feeling my pulse. It felt like it was beating so fast!

10-15 minutes later she finally got out of the shower and I'm not even kidding you when I say that I had forgotten that I wasn't by myself. As soon as I saw her, I started coming off my high and I felt a little better. I was still high, just not tripping out.

I love weed induced heart attacks.

So she sits down on the bed right next to me wearing nothing but a towel. Just for a mental picture, she is about 5'4", 115 lbs, red hair, 34 DD chest, and pretty as hell.

Fapping.

So now, I am still sitting there, high as hell, thinking that she wanted me in her room for some reason while she showered. I got up and was like, "I'll let you get dressed while I go down to the living room."

What the **** is wrong with you, boy?

I start walking out the door when it finally dawns on me that she wants to have sex with me. I felt so stupid.

get some of that orangatan luv ....

I turned around and pretended that I was ****ing with her the whole time. I started kissing her, and took off her towel.

Decent rebound.

No, **** that. You owe me. Chatroom now.

I'm in the chatroom.

I don't want to go into too much detail, but this is the part where we had sex. First there was some oral by both parties, and then good old fashioned sex afterward.

We was in the chatroom having a sex talk with his pops.

So after we were done (some hour and a half later, thank you very much), I laid down next to her and she just starts cracking up.

I am still pretty high at this point and a little drunk and I thought she was laughing at me for some reason. It turns out that her cat had been on the bed and was watching us do it the whole time and he was giving me dirty looks.

So I was like, "alright, you just took a shower and then I dirtied you. Sucks for you nerd."

I then put on my underpants and went downstairs to use the bathroom and then go watch TV. I also posted "I just had sex again." in this thread. I think that was around 1:00 am, can't remember.

I'm so happy you update us. Tell her I said hi!

You'd think this is where the story ends, but it's just beginning, my friends (and Dad).

I put on some cartoons (still high, duh) while she goes and makes herself a cup o noodles.

She sits on the couch next to me and starts packing a bowl.

She packs the bowl to the brim and hands it to me and I hit it, I pass it back to her and she's like, "That's all for you."

I was all like, "are you ****ing serious? I'm already high as ****."

I smoked the bowl anyway.

Which cartoons?

We watched some South Park and American Dad!

Damn ****ing straight. Some of that American Dad can really bond a young couple.

So around 2 am I told her that we need to go get burritos. She looked at me and was like, I just made a cup of noodles, wtf?

Luckily she is slow as hell when she eats so she had barely ate any of her noodles. I drove us to a taco shop to get some food.

Fourth meal.

She got a bean, rice, and cheese burrito covered in enchilada sauce. I got two Chile Rellenos.

Adept Havelock 47
keg in kc 46
pr_capone 40
Miles 40
|Zach| 39
ImmodiumAD 38
ExtremeChief 31
Buck's Dad 31
DaneMcCloud 30
vincent 29
zeus75 28


Dane McButthurt out!

I'm coming for you, bill parcells mult!

We got back and ate and both of us were stuffed. We watched some more American Dad!

I get these new cheesy double deckers that are 89 cents.

At this point its around 3:00 am. She told me that she was super stuffed and that she needed like 20 minutes before she could be normal again because she was too full.

I told her that I would be asleep in 20 minutes unless she wanted to make me some coffee.

That was the last thing I remember before I woke up this morning.

She obviously was against the coffee idea.

Well apparently I then went to sleep and I woke up at like 6 am and she was feeding her cats. I don't think she went to sleep til 6 am. I know that she stays up late so I told her that I would stay up with her if she wanted me to. She didn't want to move because she was stuffed, so I just went to sleep.

Oh and also I need to postwhore like this after every night and I'll pass Bugeater super soon.

Let's rewind a little bit...

You smoked outside the bathroom even? You didn't even go in and smoke on the toilet while she was showering?

Okay, I smoked the first hit while she was getting naked. I then gave the pipe to her right before she entered the shower. She took a hit and passed it back. I took the next hit and went in the shower real quick and shared it with her shotgun style.

And I smoked the entire bowl in the bathroom and was so high when I was done that I needed to lay down.

Awesome.

i'm just about to that point

Too bad I left my weed at her house.

I don't want to go over there just to pick up my weed and leave.

Is it a long drive?

No she lives within a mile of me, but I don't want to go there and just pick up the weed. That would be sort of rude. I'll get it tomorrow.

You could bring a movie and chill.

I think I've spent the night at her house 4 out of the last 5 days. Need a little break.

Yes you do.

You having a different young lady over tonight?

I can't imagine being married.