Well, goodnight ****ers.

I hate (ok, mildly dislike) all of you. I thought this was a safe place to confess my drunken state and go out to attack other threads with my wisdom. We've gotta get on the same page. What else is this thread for?

The best i can tell is ...

Understood. I'm better now. We need some music.

Shut it.

I'm a pro as a drunk. Pretty good at it. Never get out of hand... never drive... always in a good mood. It's all about having fun.

Shut it.

I'm a pro as a drunk. Pretty good at it. Never get out of hand... never drive... always in a good mood. It's all about having fun.

Damnit, man... I kinda assumed you'd be on my side.

Two startling revelations I have had in the past 5 months:

1. A woman I have known for at least 10 years and is married to what would be my best friend.....a woman that you would see as similar to a stereotypical 1950's housewife....has at least 6 sex toys.

2. Another woman I have known for 8 years and is a good friend of my wifes....a woman that appears to be fairly straight laced.....is bisexual.

Who would of thunk it.

One of the coolest things about CP is, you can make a fool of yourself here... and you'll be judged... but really, who cares? Don't hurt much. It stays here.

On FB, you have everyone you've ever set eyes on, plus about 500.

That's a lot of pressure.

I just ate a bomb ass burrito after drinking a few beers.

Tales from last night pt. 1

Apparently sometimes I laugh during my sleep. I must have funny dreams.

Tell us more.

Tales from last night pt. 2

Apparently it's ok to use someone else's toothbrush to brush your teeth as long as you already kiss each other in the first place (I don't agree with this, btw).

What we've got here is...failure to communicate...

Tales from last night pt. 3

Sriracha doesn't stain your clothes.

Husband of of woman #1 has always said "she doesn't like sex very often"...tonight her and my wife got into sex toy discussion. Which was to say, very very surprising.

Woman #2 has been divorced for a little over a year. Husband cheated on her several times over. Apparently she repressed her sexuality while she was married. Started getting into toys and discovered she likes....eh....the "outfield" just as much as the "infield".

Tales from last night pt. 4

Banana Kush is a highly regarded strain of marijuana among Xbox Live players.

MISTER BOOOO-JANGLES....DAAAANCE

Tales from last night pt. 5

Lord of the Rings is many times better when having smoked a bunch of Banana Kush.

Tales from last night pt. 6

I am about 1000% more aware of my mustache when I am high on weed.

Tales from last night pt. 7

The amount of which I love pussy is unquantifiable.

Just for the record... you forced me to do this....

<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/E9VhD4SccSE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

It's good to love yourself.

Tales from last night pt. 8

I almost love a girl cooking breakfast for me as much as I love anything else. Maybe even more.

Whoa.

Alright then. Heheheh.

Tales from last night pt. 9

I can only remember 8 interesting things from last night

Unpossible.

Irregardless.

Like trying to fight a land war in Asia.

I've racked my brain, I know that there was more than 8 things from those 24 hours, I just need more time to think.

My god I am about to poop so good.

Shouldn't one of y'all be getting laid right now?

I'm pretty sure I got laid today. I wasn't paying attention to the time at the time. I definitely JO'd today though.

I think I'm the only person in the world who could be tired after what I did today.

My day didn't get started until 6 pm when I took a shower, went to the bar, left by 9:30, went to eat a burrito, and got home around 10:30. I'm about to fall asleep and its only 11:40.

Have to help a complete stranger (friend of a friend) move tomorrow, glad to be doing something productive tomorrow.

Cannot believe I got ****ing stood up tonight.

****ing sucks. I will never, EVER do that to someone.

That is ****ing gay. ****ING GAY.

Shit happens sometimes man.

You just gotta ****ing go stalk the chick outside of her house and throw rocks at her windows. I've heard that works.

Ya know what? fuck you! Yes, I think that was a filter violation.

I feel like a snitch.

What up bitches.

Who'd you rat on?

Whuddup 'Face. I like that you can slum around with the likes of us.

Heh...I don't come around this thread much, but I pop in and see what's going on every once in a while.

You.

Probably why DaFace is in here.

I'm sorry I ratted you out KCmizzou. You can come back and talk to me now, it's okay man.

I forgive you.

What'd I do?

Apparently I stumbled on a porno made by tyler perry

Filter bypass. I felt the need to report you. My bad.

And I think I'd pass on a tyler perry porno. Rather not see Madea naked.

Every guy in this movie is named tyreke.

A stripper just sent me a nude photo.

A stripper that I've never met and didn't even know existed before she texted me out of the blue.

MIND BLOWN

Post it or it didn't happen

"this is vixen ice"

uh, who?

"I'm suppose to be comin over tonight"

uh, no? do you have a photo?

"im finna to take one"

"the girl from teasers who you suppose to be spendin a rack on tonight"

I dont know who the **** you are, stop texting me.

"You were textin me from my other cell now im tryna get to your house your playin if you really talkin bout shit hit me up but till then you good because u makin me look like a fool this vixen from teaSers so choose what you wanna do"

NUDE PIC BELOW

http://i54.tinypic.com/212h1ft.jpg

Wrap er up first.

GROSS

Now it all makes sense.

I thought it was GC. I thought we were friends. :deevee:

Meh, p^ssy all feels the same once you are inside it. Go for it, just hide yur wallet.

pussy

I don't ever report anyone for anything.

This is Chiefsplanet. Snitches burn in hell.

Amen.

Think its directed at me. Calm down, roidie.

:fart:

im finna to take one

:hmmm: I think you just recieved a text from that dude who lost his hamburger, fries, and drink to a tornado.

I just shaved my goatee, now I am a ****ing handsome mustachioed man.

No you're not.

reported

You live on Herndon Street and you have a dog named Gypsy.

redcard...

meh

you called my bluff...

I know I did.

I also reported it as nuthooks.

you asshole!:cuss:

shit happens

WTF is going on in here?

**** you I totally am.
Posted via Mobile Device

its okay man

ay and since you Posted via Mobile Device does that mean you were pooping?

This thread will never make 1000 pages

It depends on how many ppp you have set.

And uh, it's gonna make 100,000 posts. Duh

Who is eating tacos at this exact moment? Not this guy. I need to correct that.

ftw

this was a sad post.