LOL no. Lets just say she is all secure down there and there is no need to pull out.

:thumb:

That's why sometimes it gets gross messy.

:hump:

She'll start using the mess excuse once things die down.

You guys wanna hear about prison?

I don't see how that is even relevant.

Goodnight all. ;)

5 away from Simplex, 8 away from SR.

Have fun flicking the bean! :p

I gotta be up by 11 am tomorrow and I'm not sure how I affected my sleep pattern yesterday. Hopefully I can get to sleep here sometime soon.

So I got pulled out this van and they unshackled me in this garage with an old dike lady holding a shotgun at me. Then they brought us all(i think there were eight of us. a few of them got taken to the sex offender level, sick that i was shackled to those nasty ****s) into this small room with a bench on each wall.

I missed your post about prison and I thought you were randomly telling a story. Let's hear more.

Then they told us all to strip down naked and show them our assholes. Then I was given a towel to put on while I waited on a bench next to a bunch of dudes waiting for our first prison shower.

Oooh, let me get my hand lotion.

Tie Simplex with this post.

hey you guys my mom is trying so hard to start shit right now.

what is she doing

shes being a ****

is she the company that you have over?

is she mad you are trying to jack off?

SR and I are now tied.

Bugeater, I'm coming for you.

CrazyCoffey 2,512
ForgetMeNot 2,329
Joie 1,952
Bugeater 1,594
Buck 1,333
Simply Red 1,332

Joey, you and I have been killing it since March in this thread.

I'm gonna try and get some sleep.

Good luck with whatever is going on Joey.

no buck stay up

my mom is freaking about about a facebook post.

no shes not the company i have over.

and they had no problem with me beating my meat.

now im all alone

what facebook post?

<iframe width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/D2jSiY-Vo8g" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

this girl i know posted something and my mom thought it was about her. she was pissed. in no way was it about her.

my mom is on drugs.

Preggers?

bad ones.

oh a crowd!

Now I'm ahead by one more.

I'm 16 minutes away from having my first drug free, alcohol free day in the last month. I was high as **** this morning at 12 am, but technically I smoked before it turned into today.

I'm coming up on 5k. What better place to do it?

You cannot stop this, Bug.

I will choose free will.

so after i'm on the bench naked next to these guys i get my first shower. They sprayed me down throughly with bugspray then I got dressed and my picture taken.

Did you just take an ambien? Why the race against time?

I'm glad that I'm burying the story I told on the last few pages. People really tend to give you grief on here once you start talking about girls.

Ah, left coast time... Nm

There is no race against time. I'm just saying that my last month has been full of alcohol and prescription drugs. That's not a good thing.

Mostly alcohol, by the way.

It was so ****ing incredibly humiliating and embarrassing. I had to sit and let the bug spray soak in and i was naked next to this other guy and this good looking female cop was there. And I told you guys I'm not exactly hung. JFC. I wouldn't recommended it to anybody.

why did they spray you with bug spray

because i was dirty i guess.

i guess they have to delouse everyone that comes in.

No that can be a Dark place. I've been there.

I'm never going to go to prison. **** that.

I've gone 1 other day in the past month without alcohol, but I'm pretty sure I took some xanax that day.

I talked to GoChiefs on the phone yesterday. I was trying to hook him up with some free guacamole, but apparently he doesn't like Mexican food.

I'm not even joking. I realized how Demonpenzy that group of sentences sounds.

I drink every single freaking day...is that bad?

why would it be bad?

I don't know, it might be.

I hardly ever drank twice a week before the last couple months. Then I started drinking every other day, and now its every day.

ITS ESCALATING

This guy that works with me now keeps bringing beer to work and drinking during his shift. Surprised me when I first found out. He's a way older guy and I thought he was straight laced by the books. Then he asked me if I could get him coke. I was like wtf? I really don't like this guy but he's a good worker.

Now THAT is definitely bad.

I get really uneasy around coke. I've never done it, but I've been around people doing it. I don't like it.

Coke is the most worthless drug out there...**** that shit.

I don't know what it makes you feel like, but I know that it just makes you look like a fiend wanting more when you are doing it. LOL

Yes. But he's an excellent worker and very dependable. Should I ignore it?

I love to drink

doesn't everyone?

it's actually just two sentences...

What the **** is going on?

That's a pretty low bar for a lifetime achievement :p

You should also shoot for staying out of jail period. County lockups are far worse than most prisons

Well crap looks like I'll be on here all night tonight.

The soon to be former job asked me to work a few days beyond my 2 week notice so I'm working the 11-7 on last time.

ay yo homie.

Pre-1980 REO Speedwagon made some pretty rockin tunes.

Goddamnit, the Cards are getting no-hit right now.

Yovani Gallardo is throwing a no hitter.

LETS GO YOVANI

Heh.

The curse of San Diego lives on...

I bet you anything that a hit was already given up before I posted that.

That would be correct.

I need to share this website where it's like Number of Games the Mets(Or was it Padres?) have thrown a no hitter.

The Padres have never had a no hitter nor a cycle.

That is correct. They are the only team in MLB to not have either.

Are there even any other teams who don't have a cycle?

Nope. The Rays were the only other team(up to last season), to not have had a cycle.

I think B.J. Upton had a cycle last year.

I just checked, the Marlins have never had a cycle.

Hmm...

But they have had multiple no hitters.