LOL. I will find something to do.

Hopefully someone.

Wanna play jenga?

You bet your sweet ass I do.

You go first.

**** I already lost.

Why won't these blocks talk to me?

How do you know his ass is sweet?

How do you not?

I've never tasted it.

Whoa, I never did that.

He just told me in a pm that he has a sweet ass.

I told him other things too.

Man I have a really sexy story to tell but I don't know if I want it out on the internet.

**** it, I'm telling the story.

This thread needs more posts plus I want to keep you in suspense so I'm posting this over multiple posts.

Yesterday around noon I texted the girl I've been seeing to see if she wanted to hang out after work. It turned out she had the day off so I brought over some beers to her house around 1 pm and drank a couple.

How do you know you have a sweet ass?

Fast forward.....you got laid.

We watched some cartoons and drank beer until around 2:30 pm and then we went to a Mexican restaurant to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.

Patience, Dear.

Because I'm ****ing weird and I sample asses including my own. And yes, my neck hurts now.

i love cartoons btw buck

Oh, okay.

We got back to her place around 4ish and then we went to Benihana to hang out with some friends around 5. It turns out that by the time we got to Benihana they were pretty much finished eating so we drove over to Barnes and Noble because one of the girls needed to buy a book.

glad your questions were answered to proper satisfaction, ForgetMeNot.

We got done with that around 6 and we were going to go back to one of the girls houses and just chill out and drink some beer there, but the girl I'm seeing got a call saying that we need to make a pit stop at Gordon Biersch Brewery. One of her friends works there so we went in to say hi.

i hate it when you've got to get a book on short notice. barnes and noble is so time consuming.

When we got there I ordered a beer and a coffee because I was sort of tired. The coffee was lukewarm at best, and another girl who ordered coffee had the same problem. They brought us new coffees and they tasted like ****ing ass (not that I know what that tastes like). Finally on the 3rd cup it was just right and I drank the shit out of my coffee. During the couple hours we spent at Gordon Biersch I drank 2 coffees and 2 pints of beer. I also took a percocet.

The 2 other girls left before she and I did and we stopped at an Arco AM/PM to get her a soda and I bought another coffee. We then drove to one of the other girls houses to make a gameplan for the evening. At this point its probably around 9 pm.

Don't get addicted.

We arrive at the other girls house and one of her friends had just driven down from LA and was super tired. The girl whose house we were in was also really tired so we decided not to go out and we were sort of bummed because we were going to pick up beer, but didn't because we thought we were going to walk down to a bar. The host ended up uncorking a bottle of red wine, which I don't drink, so I sat around with 4 girls who were drinking red wine while I was just being bored out of my ass.

9 pm is when you get ready for the 10pm thread. you've only got an hour.

maybe it just smells sweet? :shrug:

I don't know. I thinks it's entirely possible to just know someone has a sweet ass without tasting or smelling for confirmation. Joey has that kind of ass.

as far as that goes so does John, rockymountain, OTWP, Luv, Joie, Aces, Simply Red, Buck, Bugeater, Floppynuts, Milkman, Mr. Plow, Greg, Pinkfloyd, vosbill, adapt havalock, smittys bar, radar chief, jim nasium, chasedude, denverchief, ahhhh.... I think KCtattoo, phobia, rainman, fax, daface, red-n-tastey, gblowfish (he is a definite sweet ass, eternally thankful for the seats), ****rygal, lumpy, gonzo (how'd I almost forget gonzo????), dartgod, gaz, Katipan (I don't know why, but I want to PIIHB and I haven't even met her), Jilly (only if sully let me), demonpenz, stevie/BRC/ nzoner (3 killer asses),

I know I forgot somebody, but I think I covered the only ones who "MIGHT" look at this thead....

After around an hour of being there (10 PM) I took another percocet (this will come up later in the story, stay tuned) and then hung around for maybe another hour and a half before I decided that I needed to smoke some weed. I smoked a bowl, and then each of the girls smoked a bowl, but of course they didn't want to finish their bowls, just take a small hit, so I ended up smoking around 3 or 4 bowls of pretty potent stuff. Its now around 12 am.

did you try to sexually harass the wine girls?

No man, I was there with a girl that I like. You can only do that shit around people you don't know.

Smoking bowls makes 10pm become 12pm quick.

You bring up a fair point. I forget about the special girl.

So now I am high as ****, and I know that I am going to have to drive home within 30 minutes so I'm trying to sober up. If you aren't familiar with weed, you can actually just jedi mind trick yourself into not feeling high. I do it all the time. At around 12:30 am, the host says "get the **** out." (She said it much nicer than that).

So now I am driving back to the main girl's house. I realize while driving that my mouth is the dryest that it has ever been. The mixture of weed and percocet definitely didn't help. I chewed a piece of gum and it didn't even get wet or bring up any saliva. It was about a 20 minute drive, but it felt like it took a lifetime. We finally got back to her place around 1 am.

I get myself a glass of water and drink the **** out of it. I repeat this twice. It is now around 1:02 am.

And then you got laid....or peed yourself.

So she had been drinking and smoking and was hungry so she started heating up her leftover shrimp fajitas that she had at the Mexican restaurant earlier in the day. Then she comes out into the living room and hops on top of me and pretty much physically dominated me (120 lb girl vs 280 lb guy) into submission while she gave me lots of kisses.

do quicktrips have cheap fountain drinks in sd?

By the time she was done with me (around 1:20 am) her food had gotten cold in the microwave. She went to re-heat it and the same ****ing thing happened again. This time it was around 1:35 am and I told her to just eat her food because she kept re-heating it.

She ate her food and finished around 2 am. She is literally THE SLOWEST EATER in the history of mankind. It takes her 40 minutes to eat a Cup O Noodles.

Now she is giving it to me hot and heavy, but Mr. I took 2 percocets earlier in the evening can feel something wrong.

I am at half-mast when I should easily be ready to go. It is now 2:30 am and without saying anything we both disappointingly agree that nothing is going to happen tonight. She snuggles up next to me and we put on some more cartoons.

At around 3:30 am I ask her if she is still awake and she sleepingly says, "yes." I turn off the xbox and the tv and fall asleep.

Is that it?

At 4:20 AM, I am awakened by a noise that sounded like someone trying to open her front door. I got spooked and went down to the door to check it out and looked outside. There is a metal gate right outside her door that lets you in the complex and somebody had actually been messing with that, not her door. I go to take a leak and get back in bed.

You know what I got from that story? I'm going to pretend I have someone to snuggle up with, and go to bed and snuggle with my blanket.

When I got back in the bed she had changed her position so that now I was spooning her. That plus the excitement from checking the door....all of the sudden, I could feel myself getting a boner.

I knew she was awake because she makes a very distinct snoring noise when she is asleep so I started rubbing places and then we had the most awesome, passionate sex for hours. It was like 4:30 when we started and it was light out by the time we were through.

I guess her cats were staring at me the entire time and I was a little creeped out by that.

Nice. Love late night boning.

Oh and then I woke up sometime between 10 am and 12 pm and wrote in this thread "Ahhhhhh." That was pretty much this entire story summed up into one word.

Then today we just sat around until 4:30 watching cartoons before getting something to eat.

That's it. End of story.

Oh and as it appears that I'm not going to be going out tonight, I'm totally recalling certain moments from last night from my Spank Bank for tonight.

Plus I'm now only 19 posts away from catching Simplex and 22 away from catching Simply Red in this thread, so I'll probably be spamming more stories tonight.

<iframe width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/PGQAfolOJUI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

buck lives a life I long for

28,888

COOOL

Should I masturbate before going to sleep?

CrazyCoffey 2,512
ForgetMeNot 2,323
Joie 1,952
Bugeater 1,594
Simply Red 1,332
Simplex3 1,329
Buck 1,310
milkman 1,298
Sam Hall 1,009
SPchief 1,000
greg63 991
D2112 967
KurtCobain 938
Guru 937 -- DONE

Let's see if I can move up four more spots tonight.

Man a lot is cool for me right now, but I could really use a job. Its so ****ing hard...although I don't think I'd trade what I've got for anything right now.

Yes that sounds awesome.

Love this song

FYP

Then when you're done give us a 1-10 scale rating real quick before you go to sleep.

****ING DO IT

You've gotta promise not to stop when I say when.

FMP

Now I want to masturbate but I can't. :(

Are you kidding? When it comes to using my hands, I'm always a 10.

Why the **** not? That's a poor attitude to have.

LMAO

I have company over.

Are they staying the night? You can always JO later.

Wish I had those skills.

**** it I'm doing it now.

Oh something that was sort of lame was that all of that stuff was pretty messy and her shower was broken. Took a long time before I could shower up. THAT IS ****ING GROSS.

Atta boy.

I would join you but that's ****ing gay.

She didn't swallow? Kick that bitch to the curb.