Yeah, King. That's kinda messed up.

Massive heart attack. Hit him when he exited his van and began walking towards his apartment. Took me by surprise. He used to smoke so many "pipe tobacco" cigarettes with seemingly no reciprocating repercussions, to the point where I thought it seemed like he had this "indestructible" vibe to him. I mean, he just smoked insane amounts of tobacco.

He was 47. Still have his birth date and Medicaid number memorized like the back of my hand. Funny thing is, for the first year I worked with him, I had to work very hard with him to memorize how old he was because when I began working there, he had it stuck in his head that he was 2 years older than he actually was. He lost track somewhere along the line and it took forever to get him permanently corrected in his brain.

Btw, he was a paranoid schizophrenic. I don't think my job was ever any more annoying/challenging than when that dude would venture to gas stations and purchase Stacker 2 pills. Dude would pop like 2-3 packages at a time of those things. I have a LOT of patience with people, but man...I had a difficult time dealing with him when he took those. That's probably what prompted his heart attack...

febreeze?

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_uzte1XHg-o...Cornholio1.jpg

Well, first off... I always made sure I had a "shitmobile" that I drove exclusively for work. I drove a 2000 Hyundai Elantra and a 2001 Ford Taurus, both with high mileage exclusively for work during that time...wouldn't drive my Caddy's there unless my shitmobile was in the shop being repaired.

Also, I ensured that I was putting plastic on my seats every time I went to work. I used to get barked at by case managers for doing this, for the clients would call them and complain about me doing it because they felt "stigmatized." But I didn't care. I'd bark back at them and remind them that the county supplied them company vehicles to work with and that I had to use my own.

Sounds crazy, but it pissed me off a lot at first, but I seriously did just get used to it. I mean, I never failed to tell them the social norms they broke every time they did it...basically lectured them like a parent. But I did get used to it to the point where I wasn't upset about it for very long after it happened.

I hated it moreso when the other client would do it. As mentioned, the guy I chronicled was cool about helping me clean it up. He became comfortable enough with me that he wasn't embarrassed or anything and he did understand that it wasn't acceptable. He would genuinely feel bad about it. The other client was an obese female that would become straight up volatile when she'd do this and I'd ask her to help me clean it up. It was a pain in the freaking ass, every single time. And to make things even worse, she didn't eat anything other than tuna sandwiches. There is nothing that smells worse than digested tuna (with an exception of a rhinolith...as I learned on Hamas's sex thread).

And this person was comfortable with me and was not embarrassed that I knew she pooped her pants...so that wasn't why she'd be pissed. She would be pissed because she was so freaking lazy that she didn't want to put in the "work" to help me clean up her poop mess. I think that's why she would poop her pants to begin with...because she was too lazy to GET UP AND WALK to the bathroom. Ugh.

There is some really ****ed up shit in rural/underpopulated regions of Iowa. I could go on and on and on, obviously.

god damn I think I've heard enough

LMAO "shitmobile" FTW.

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Nothing like driving a piece of shit car to work that people feel comfortable shitting in.

You're a better man than I am. If that were my occupation, we'd go on field trips to the middle of a large lake and find out who could swim to shore.

That was an epic roast. I mean that's a nuke of a post from Hootie. Holy ****.

Can you imagine these two crap machines in a boat getting jostled around by every wave on the way out? You'd be cleaning ten pounds of poop out of the boat when you returned to shore.

LMAOLMAO

You mean to tell me that Dartgod and Frazod are also incontinent? Good God, this problem is more widespread than I originally thought.

Your not cool unless you poop your pants./Billy Madison

On double-dates, it's 2 girls, 1 Frazod and Dartgod.