You're tellin' me. Those things hurt.

but you got 6 years on me!

I swore off women almost 3 years ago...,but I think I am falling for one.

Who?

some girl who likes spaghettios

If it's the one I think, you could do worse...:drool:

And likes a man with clean sheets.

Oh wait, think it's cause he's the house bitch ROFL

Haters gonna hate.

that post is perfect with your avatar picture.

My avatar is perfect for all my posts.

No it's not.

I WILL ****ING YOU

Actually I won't. Benzos and muscle relaxers. I feel too good to do anything.

I hope you don't ****ing me.

I WILL ****ING ANYONE I WANT

Sorry, but it would never work between us.

She dissed you, dawg.

No I was talking about a different woman.

oh snap!

whats going on in here?

Damn, its all 1984 at work. They are monitoring our intrawebs use. Thats where I posted from, asshats!

This is brutal. cauliflower and broccoli make my ass farts smell like a dead skunks pussy.

Websense?

Bastids in IT are watching every ****ing click on the mouse. All because a moron in my dept sent a post that I had copied and pasted to this thread through our entire work order system. idiot.

I had copied it onto the clipboard, then pasted here. The next day the old fart had no clue how to copy and paste. So he highlighted and pasted my post onto the work order. Then he saw it in the text, freaked and sent it through. What a mess its made...:banghead:

Ah, that sucks.

They keep track of what we do online at work too. (and use Websense to block a lot of sites... like CP) I still get into non work-related stuff... and they know it, but don't really seem to mind. Just gotta keep it within reason, and do good work.

id think bout it for the chiefs... but the chargers??? seriously...lmmfao

but any ways Monday night football on holloween ... I'm going to be at arrowhead watching the chiefs make the chargers look like a pee wee team!

They dont block a thing there. Just watch. record. report.:banghead:

On a side note, now that they are watching so close, a couple of guys better have their heads on a swivel...pr0n anyone?ROFL

I hope it wasn't a post where you told someone to go die in an aids fire.

I think that'd be worse.

No need for that... save it for home...lol

Worse...It was the philisophical fart post....:doh!:

I'm not sure I'd even know how to construct one of those...

Oh fart, how do I love thee? Let me count thy ways.

just let it rip and say something that sounds smart

Now constructing a philosophical shart post...that's tough.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showp...ostcount=26103

:doh!:

The whole ****ing system got this..the whole ****ing system...:banghead:

not for phobia. he could probably do it at the dinner table.

I like to fart at baseball games.

I think that's a shakespearean fart post.

Farting is fine, but sharting will not be tolerated.

eh, could be worse.





You could have said that when everybody goes to break you put a trash can on your head and smack your pecker on their mouses and keyboards.

You got in trouble for that? LMAO

Damn.

Almost 27,000 posts and I stumble in here for the first time during a shart discussion. Great.

Of course, it's also apropos, since I just had a shart on Sunday. Pissed me off, too. Had a nice day off, had lunch at a pub downtown, saw "Spamalot"... Didn't realize at the time that the pub poisoned me. Got home, relaxing... Shart. :mad:

I dont think that would be worse. This is the Berkshires. They prolly would have taken their mousepads to the mens room and fapped to it.
Yeah I got in some trouble for that...when the 74 year old moron who sent it through was blessed away for being an old dolt. ****er.

Make sure and do it on the metal bleachers. Then look each way to see the confused look on everyones face wondering what the rumble was.

Hey numbahs.

You need to develop a tolerence for yeast in your beer!

I like to fart when I'm in large crowds, that way everybody smells it, but no one knows I did it.

:shake:

sounds like broncos fans to me

But what if it didn't smell. And made NO sound....

black matter.

In a store... any store. Drop a bomb, and quickly move to the next aisle. Watch for reactions and non verbal accusations.

yep. just blame it on the kids or old people and everyone is ok with it.

Worse. (yeah I know..)

This county voted green party over D. Alternative lifestyles are the norm. not the exception. its....different.

Where's the newspaper boy? Wishing he'd come by and deliver me some good news.

you could chop off their heads or burn them

I prefer stacking stones on their chest.

Carrots up the anus cavity is always a good one too.

:LOL:

No, it was definitely the food.

1.) Undercooked calamari.
2.) Nachos with Cheez Whiz.
3.) Undercooked tuna steak sandwich.

Could've been any one of the three or a combination thereof. All I know is, I'll never go back to that place again.

And on that note... I'd like to take a minute of everyone's time for a public service announcement. There are many wonderful things on this planet. The sound of a baby's laugh. Blowjobs. Egg McMuffins. Sunsets in Key West when you're on vacation and hammered. The sound of a pump shotgun. But there are few things in life as beautiful or amazing as Imodium. If you've never tried it, friends, let me tell you, it's ****ing amazing. It comes in liquid form, as well as a pill. The pill is around the size of a grain of rice, literally. And you'd think the pill couldn't do much of a job, especially not when compared to the liquid. But, I'll tell you, this stuff is beyond belief. One pill, so small that you can barely fumble the thing out of the package and into your mouth, and your shit turns from soft-serve to rock-hard. Next to turning water into wine or lead into gold, it's one of the most amazing transformations known to mankind. Seriously, run out to Taco Bell right now and get nine burritos, and swing by your all-night drugstore for some Imodium, and test it out.

after awhile if celery comes out their mouth you know you did your job right

Well, its alot easier than dunking.

yep, old school

Teh Cheeze whiz...definitely.

I eat "undercooked" calamari and tuna all the time without adverse affects. Its the way they are supposed to be cooked.

I blame the whiz..

i like running naked drunk thinking im being followed by a mob of people.

Even if I hadn't gotten sick, they lost me at the Cheez Whiz anyway. No self-respecting nacho plate should have freakin' Cheez Whiz on it. If you can't spend the cash to put actual shredded cheese on them, don't serve them, fer crissake.

especially around the hollidays

That was a sin.

Seriously, it could have been the fish and thats a shame. Any place that would serve cheez whiz on Nacho's is not gonna go out of their way to prepare fresh seafood. Now you will only eat rubber squid and dried tuna and miss their fresh flavors. Might as well eat them from a can. Tuna should be served rare and calamari should be cooked for 30 secs to one min max or they go to rubber.

Around the holidays, I like to hang ornaments on my junk, light myself up with lights and charge up onto the stage at Christmas Mass. Like I said, Im in the Berkshires...they think nothing of it.

I doubt you hang ornaments on your junk.

Then why did I get the guages for?

Christmas nipples

I FEEL GOOD

QUOTE=Buck;7583540]I FEEL GOOD[/QUOTE]

This should help....

http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r...2/DSC01265.jpg

Did you visit the pharmacy again :doh!:

I just like to run around naked here at work after about 2am:evil:

I visited the Pharmacy on my shelf. Now I am all out. :(

Well no wonder the person you were training to take your job already quit.

Sorry, but the terms of my probation no longer allow me to help you out. :shrug:

What the....

I leave for a few hours, and you all talk about farts and running around naked?

I was saving that for the last day of training..... :harumph:

And this surprises you? :spock:

luv's right. This place is ****ed up. I came on here the other day hoping to discuss recipes and royals baseball for a change, next thing you know JOhn has threatened me, I've learned how to cook crack and buck's offered sex on the cheap.

Sick ****ing place. Trying to tell me I can't shart when we meet up.